Many people know, but the ancient values of Jewish burial and the modern principles of sustainability coexist in harmony. Through our commitment to green burial, we offer families a way to honor their loved ones while also showing care for the natural world. As Russell Chemerisov, Family Service Assistant Manager at Hillside, explains, "Our green burial section, Gan Eden, reflects both traditional Jewish values and a growing commitment to environmental stewardship." What is Green Burial? Green burial is an eco-friendly option that forgoes embalming fluids, metal caskets, and concrete vaults in favor of natural materials and minimal environmental impact. At Hillside, our Gan Eden section is dedicated to this practice. "We use biodegradable caskets, natural fiber shrouds, and no concrete liners," Russell says. "It’s about returning to the earth in the most natural way possible." This practice is also deeply aligned with traditional Jewish burial customs. Jewish law ( halacha ) emphasizes simplicity, natural decomposition, and honoring the body’s return to the earth. "It’s not new to Judaism," Russell notes. "Green burial has actually been a part of our tradition all along. We’re just returning to it with greater ecological awareness." Bringing Tradition and Sustainability Together One of the most powerful aspects of green burial is how seamlessly it aligns with Jewish values. Simplicity, dignity, and a swift return to the earth are long-held principles in Jewish mourning and burial. "Our community is often surprised to learn that green burial is not only allowed within Jewish tradition but that it actually upholds many of its most sacred values," Russell shares. The Gan Eden section at Hillside is beautifully landscaped with native, drought-tolerant plants. "We’ve created a space that reflects both spiritual serenity and environmental care," Russell explains. "It’s a peaceful, natural place for families to gather and remember." A Personal and Planet-Friendly Choice For families who are environmentally conscious or seeking a more natural way to honor a loved one, green burial can be a deeply meaningful choice. "We’ve seen more and more families drawn to Gan Eden," Russell says. "It offers them a sense of peace—knowing their loved one’s burial supports both tradition and the future of the planet." Hillside’s commitment doesn’t end with the burial. We use sustainable practices throughout the park, from drip irrigation to solar energy, supporting our belief in Tikkun Olam — the Jewish principle of repairing the world. "It’s not just about one choice," Russell adds. "It’s about a mindset. We’re thinking about the impact of every step." Learn More At Hillside, we’re proud to offer burial options that honor both Jewish tradition and environmental responsibility. To learn more about our Green Burial practices, please visit https://www.hillsidememorial.org/cemetery-options or call us at 310-641-0707 to speak with a member of our caring team.
At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, our mission is rooted in the Jewish value of Tikkun Olam , the responsibility to help heal and repair the world. That means showing up for our community in moments of sorrow and in seasons of growth. One of the most powerful expressions of this commitment is our partnership with Shemesh Farms, a program of Shalom Institute that empowers diversely abled adults through farming, environmental education, and meaningful employment. In Shemesh, we see a living embodiment of some of the values that shape Hillside: dignity, inclusion, sustainability, and compassion. From the Ground Up: Growing for Every Gardener Shemesh Farms began in 2013 as a response to a critical need: what happens to young adults with disabilities after they age out of public education systems? As Nicky Pitman, Director of Shemesh Farms, explains, the original idea was inspired by a trip to Israel, where Shalom Institute CEO Rabbi Bill Kaplan visited kibbutzim run by adults with diverse abilities. "Bill came back and said, 'We can do that at camp.' And so we did," Pitman recalls. The team began with a handful of Farm Fellows, a modest garden, and a shared belief in possibility. Today, Shemesh is a thriving social enterprise where over 120 Farm Fellows contribute to every aspect of farming and production, from harvesting and drying herbs to packaging and fulfillment. Karen Friedman, Associate Director of Shemesh Farms, notes that, "there's a job for every ability," whether it's composting, sorting herbs, or just sitting peacefully in the garden reading. "Everybody gets to be who they are as they are," says Pitman. Sustainability as Sacred Practice At Shemesh Farms, environmental stewardship isn’t just a practice; it’s a way of living Jewish values. From composting and organic gardening to using water-saving hydroponic towers, sustainability is woven into every element of the farm’s operations. "Our garden is completely running because of our compost," says Pitman. "Something that seems like waste is nature’s gold." This commitment to caring for the land is deeply rooted in Jewish tradition. Shemesh integrates Pe’ah , a traditional Jewish farming practice, into their garden design. One example of this practice is Tzedakah , or righteous giving, by leaving a corner of the field for those in need. "We’ve dedicated a corner of our garden to the Malibu United Methodist Church’s feeding ministry," Friedman shares. "We grow tomatoes, carrots, squash, onions, garlic — all for their community kitchen." Shemesh also champions accessibility through sustainability. Hillside Memorial Park is proud to have sponsored two hydroponic towers, which have enabled more Farm Fellows to participate regardless of mobility. As Pitman notes, "they’re more accessible than raised beds, and when we need to move, we can rebuild in a day. They’re very Jewish that way." A Shared Mission: Showing Up for Each Other For Hillside, supporting Shemesh is about shared purpose as much as it is about charitable giving. As Friedman reflects, "there is no greater Jewish value than showing up for people." At Shemesh, this takes the form of opening and closing circles, weekly meditations, and honoring Disability Pride Month with intentional programming. These aligned values extend to the work Hillside does every day in caring for families during life’s most difficult transitions. "Your main responsibility," Friedman says of Hillside, "is one of the most important things in the world: to help our community through one of the most difficult times in life, but to do it in such a way that the community comes together and cares for each other." Both Hillside and Shemesh Farms understand that Tikkun Olam begins with presence, intention, and kindness for all people. Continuing the Work of Repair The partnership between Hillside Memorial Park and Shemesh Farms is one of mutual inspiration. By providing their farming programs, Shemesh helps create a future that reflects the very best of Jewish values: community and responsible stewardship rooted in the belief that everyone has something meaningful to contribute. If you are looking for a way to support Shemesh Farms more directly, join The Hive , the donor community that helps fund the farm’s growth and programming. Hive members are invited to exclusive events and farm experiences that bring the mission to life. It’s a powerful way to deepen your connection and take part in the sacred work of nurturing dignity, sustainability, and belonging. To learn more about the organizations we support and how we live our values every day, visit https://www.hillsidememorial.org/community-liaison
In Jewish tradition, the idea of legacy is about far more than assets or possessions—it is about values. How do we preserve the essence of who we are for those who come after us? How do we ensure that our stories, beliefs, and guiding principles are not lost, but cherished and continued? One timeless and profoundly personal way to do this is through the writing of an ethical will. We spoke with Rabbi Jonathan Aaron of Temple Emanuel of Beverly Hills about this ancient and evolving tradition—its spiritual impact, emotional resonance, and enduring role in Jewish life. More Than a Will: Capturing What Matters Most Unlike a legal will, an ethical will is not about distributing material possessions—it’s about sharing what made your life meaningful. “It’s a document about values and what you stood for,” Rabbi Aaron explains. “It’s not what you earned—it’s about what you learned.” Parents often lead by example, but an ethical will gives children a deeper lens. “My kids don’t necessarily know what I’m most proud of or what challenged me,” he shares. “Writing it down helps them understand me better—and gives them a framework to understand their own lives.” What goes into an ethical will can be as individual as the person creating it: reflections on childhood, beliefs, struggles, forgiveness, love, loss, favorite books or music, memories shared with family, and dreams for the future. “It should be filled with stories,” Rabbi Aaron says. “Ideally a combination of past and future. What do you want future generations to know or carry forward?” For Rabbi Aaron, ethical wills are about soul, not just story. “It’s the opportunity to say goodbye in a way that’s full of presence. To say, ‘This is what my life meant. This is what you meant to me.’” A Ritual of Reflection and a Gift of Continuity Though not legally binding, ethical wills carry profound spiritual weight. In Judaism, the tradition reaches back to biblical times—Jacob, at the end of Genesis, offers his children blessings and truths about their lives. “That’s essentially an ethical will,” says Rabbi Aaron. The practice continued through medieval Jewish texts, where fathers were expected to pass on ethical guidance. Today, that tradition is being revived—not just as a historical artifact, but as a personal spiritual exercise. “ L’dor v’dor —from generation to generation—is core to Jewish life,” Rabbi Aaron reflects. “An ethical will helps reinforce Jewish values, especially when it includes teachings about what mattered most in your life, and what you hope your children and grandchildren will carry forward.” Creating one can be transformative. “People get great satisfaction from clarifying their lives—what they learned, what they cared about,” he shares. “It becomes a reflection of their soul, and for those who read it after someone passes away, it’s a gift. It brings their loved one’s voice back into the room.” Ethical wills can take many forms: letters, videos, artwork, recorded stories, poetry, or even heirlooms passed down with meaning. Rabbi Aaron recalls one man who made a documentary-style video and another who created a collage to reflect her life. “There’s no one way to do it,” he says. “It’s just about starting.” Why Start Now? You don’t have to be old or near the end of life to write an ethical will. In fact, Rabbi Aaron encourages people to start young. “What I care about now is different than what I cared about 30 years ago. But that earlier version of me mattered too—my kids deserve to know who I was then, and how I’ve changed.” If you're unsure where to begin, Rabbi Aaron recommends starting small: “Just write. You can change the format or style later. You never know where it might take you.” To learn more about ethical wills and how to begin your own, we invite you to watch Rabbi Aaron’s conversation with American Jewish University: The Mitzvah of Crafting Your Ethical Will Planning for the Future with Meaning and Intention At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, we understand that legacy is about more than making arrangements—it’s about making meaning. Writing an ethical will is a deeply personal act of love, and we are here to support you in that process as part of your advance planning journey.  If you're beginning to think about how you want to be remembered, or how to honor the values of a loved one who has passed, we invite you to reach out on our site or at 1 (800) 576-1994. Let our experienced team walk alongside you with compassion, tradition, and care—so that what you leave behind reflects not just what you had, but who you were.
Insights from Rabbi Ken Chasen of Leo Baeck Temple, Los Angeles
In every generation, Judaism is renewed by the voices who challenge it to become more expansive, more compassionate, and more true to its core values. Rabbi Jillian R. Cameron—leader, educator, and proud member of the LGBTQ+ community—is one of those voices. As the Rabbi of Beth Chayim Chadashim, the world’s first LGBTQ+ synagogue, she brings both deep tradition and radical welcome to her work with queer, interfaith, and intercultural families. For Rabbi Cameron, inclusion is not an accessory to Jewish life—it’s the heart of it. A Personal Path to Communal Welcome Rabbi Cameron’s inclusive approach is deeply rooted in her own experience. “I come from an interfaith family,” she shares. “My parents gave me the choice to be involved in Judaism when I was young, and that freedom to choose made all the difference.” It led her not only to embrace Jewish life, but to become a Rabbi committed to opening doors for others who might otherwise feel outside the fold. “I didn’t just want to be an awesome Jew,” she says with a smile, “I wanted to be a Rabbi who could help people like me find their way into Judaism without as many barriers.” That spirit of openness has guided her work with diverse couples and families, ensuring that everyone who seeks connection, no matter their background, has a place to belong. “Judaism is joyful and welcoming,” she affirms. “But there are still places where gatekeeping exists. I needed permission to belong, and now I offer that to others.” Making Space for Celebration, Transformation, and Belonging At Beth Chayim Chadashim and in communities across the country, Rabbi Cameron has officiated at weddings, baby namings, conversions, and transition rituals—always seeking to reflect both tradition and the full identities of those involved. “Our goal isn’t to abandon Jewish practice, but to reimagine it with integrity,” she explains. “Creating new liturgy for same-sex weddings or gender transitions keeps the tradition alive while making it relevant.” Even small changes, she notes, can be powerful. “Language matters. I don’t refer to God as ‘He’ or ‘She,’ I also avoid binary phrases like ‘ladies and gentlemen’ or ‘brothers and sisters.’ That kind of precision in how we speak helps people feel seen.” Her efforts extend beyond ritual and into the visibility of Jewish presence in LGBTQ+ spaces. When she lived in Salem, Massachusetts, she co-founded Tribe for Pride to bring Jewish representation to the local Pride parade. “Marching on Shabbat was controversial for some,” she recalls, “but visibility was more important. People were overjoyed to see Jews proudly represented. It made them feel safe, welcome, at home.” Sacred Institutions, Everyday Inclusion From synagogues to cemeteries, Rabbi Cameron believes that Jewish institutions must actively communicate welcome. “Details matter,” she emphasizes. “The language on your forms, your website, even your signage. Those all signal whether someone will feel they belong.”  For queer individuals or those in interfaith families, a form that only lists “husband” and “wife” can be a quiet but powerful exclusion. “Symbolism is important, but it can’t stop there. We have to do the deeper work of making people feel celebrated.” She also stresses the importance of making Jewish life accessible to people from all backgrounds, especially those who didn’t grow up in the tradition. “Not every Jew knows everything about Judaism, let alone someone exploring it. That’s okay. We can meet them with kindness where they are.” A Community for the Future For those in the LGBTQ+ community seeking a spiritual home, Rabbi Cameron has a simple but powerful message: You belong here. “Judaism doesn’t belong to one kind of Jew,” she says. “There are innumerable ways to be Jewish, and people who can help you explore what that means.” Whether it's the warmth of a Pride parade or the quiet comfort of a naming ceremony, Rabbi Cameron’s work is helping the next generation find a place in the ancient tradition. “I’ve seen lives transformed,” she reflects. “People who thought they didn’t deserve to exist in Jewish space have found belonging. That’s what keeps me doing this work.” At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, we share this commitment to inclusion. We honor all identities, all kinds of families, and all expressions of Jewish tradition. To learn more about how we serve diverse communities at every stage of life—and legacy—please reach out on our site or by phone at 1 (800) 576-1994.
At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, service to the community goes beyond funerals; it is a year-round commitment to comfort, connection, and continuity. One of the most meaningful ways Hillside fulfills this role is through hosting a variety of memorial and support events that reflect Jewish values, honor cherished lives, and strengthen the bonds of community. From seasonal ceremonies to monthly support groups and personalized receptions, these gatherings are designed to help individuals and families navigate grief while remaining rooted in remembrance. Sacred Gatherings: Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Kever Avot V'Imahot, and Grief Support Each year, Hillside brings people together through signature memorial events that honor the legacy of parents and provide space for collective healing. Mothers’ Day Remembrance Service On Mothers’ Day, we gather to honor the extraordinary women who have shaped our lives. Whether our mothers are still present or held close in memory, this service celebrates the sacredness of motherhood through music, song, prayer, and comforting words. It is a time to reflect, to remember, and to draw strength from being among others who share the same tender emotions. Fathers’ Day Remembrance Service: Sunday, June 15th On Fathers’ Day, we recognize the fathers and father figures who remain guiding lights in our lives. Our upcoming remembrance service pays tribute to their strength, wisdom, and enduring love. We invite you to join us for a morning of music, song, prayer and reflection on June 15th as we celebrate and honor their legacies from generation to generation. You can register for this year’s Father’s Day Remembrance Service on our site here . Kever Avot V’Imahot Service: Sunday, September 28th The Kever Avot V’Imahot Service at Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary is a cherished tradition that offers families a meaningful opportunity to visit the graves of loved ones during the High Holy Days. Our largest event that falls between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, Kever Avot V’Imahot is rooted in the Jewish value of honoring memory and maintaining connection across generations. The service blends prayer, reflection, and community gathering in a peaceful, sacred setting. By creating space for remembrance during this spiritually significant time, Hillside helps individuals and families feel supported, comforted, and connected to those they have lost. Monthly Grief Support Groups Our grief support groups are another essential pillar of Hillside’s community offerings. Led by Maggi Scharf, M.Ed., CPCC, Certified Grief Educator, these monthly sessions are designed to help participants navigate the healing process in a supportive group setting. For those coping with recent loss or ongoing grief, the opportunity to share space with others can be a powerful step forward. You can learn more or register here . Gathering After the Service: Personalized Memorial Receptions In addition to public ceremonies, Hillside also offers private reception services following funeral services – a practice that has grown in response to the evolving needs of the community. “Our Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and Kever Avot [V’Imahot] services are important events that bring our community together every year” says Mortuary Manager Jenna Moerk. “We also host receptions for families after their funeral service. Both strengthen the bonds between the bereaved and create an opportunity for people to support their loved ones.” Planning a memorial event at Hillside includes thoughtful considerations: the size of the gathering, timing, menu selections, and any personal touches the family wishes to include. “We’re always open to personalization,” Moerk shares. “Whether it’s special music, special foods, floral tributes, or other unique details, we’ll find a way to celebrate that.” While serving food at a cemetery is not traditionally common in Jewish practice, Hillside has thoughtfully created a respectful and welcoming space for such gatherings. “We have a large, beautiful outdoor sanctuary patio,” Moerk notes. “Families often travel from all over, and this gives them a place to gather after the service that’s both convenient and meaningful.” What truly sets these receptions apart is the care Hillside puts into making the experience seamless. “There is availability following your service for a catered reception,” Moerk says. “It’s all organized by a specialist who works with your specific requests. We also have an amazing audio-visual system for videos, photos, music, and more.” The feedback from families has been overwhelmingly positive. “People love it. They love being here in the park. They find it beautiful and serene, and it’s been very encouraging to know how much people appreciate it,” Moerk says. A Space for Reflection, a Place for Connection At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, every event, whether public or private, is an opportunity to honor memory and nurture healing. We invite you to attend one of our upcoming community gatherings or to explore reception options for your own family. To learn more or speak with a member of our team about planning or attending an event, please contact us directly . Our compassionate staff is here to support you today and in the days to come.
At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, our commitment to Tikkun Olam —the Jewish principle of repairing the world—extends beyond our gates and into the heart of our community. Guided by the value of chesed (grace, benevolence, and loving-kindness), the Hillside Chesed Project was created to offer meaningful ways for our staff, visitors, and community members to support those in need. Through the Chesed Project, we are proud to partner with a diverse group of charitable organizations across Southern California—each dedicated to healing, educating, and uplifting individuals and families. Whether through donations, time, or talent, these partnerships embody Hillside’s mission of service and compassion. Big Sunday Big Sunday connects people through acts of service and believes that everyone has something to give. With over 2,000 volunteer opportunities each year, Big Sunday unites people of all backgrounds through shared purpose, joy, and community involvement. You can get involved with volunteer opportunities on the big Sunday volunteer page. Builders of Jewish Education (BJE) BJE strengthens Jewish identity and education in Los Angeles through grants, professional development, and engaging programs for youth and teens. Volunteers can support student programs and events that create lasting Jewish experiences. Learn more about volunteering here. Culver City Education Foundation (CCEF) CCEF supports nearly 7,000 students in the Culver City Unified School District, funding educational programs and innovations that go beyond government support. Community donations and volunteer efforts help elevate learning opportunities for all. You can volunteer or donate to support Culver City Educational Foundation here . Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion HUC-JIR is a cornerstone of Jewish leadership development, training rabbis, cantors, educators, and nonprofit leaders. Your donation supports progressive Jewish education and the next generation of spiritual and communal leaders. Visit Hebrew Union College online to donate to support students, faculty, and staff. Pico Union Project Rooted in the commandment to love your neighbor, Pico Union Project provides vital resources like food distribution, arts education, and health access in one of LA’s most underserved neighborhoods. Volunteers help power programs like the Vida Sana farmers market and free cultural classes. Sign up to volunteer for the Vida Sana farmers market, community gardening, and more on their site today . Shemesh Farms / Shalom Institute Shemesh Farms, a program of the Shalom Institute, offers meaningful employment to neurodiverse young adults and produces handcrafted organic goods. This inclusive model of work and community uplifts both individuals and Jewish values of dignity and care. You can donate to Shalom institute and contact about volunteer opportunities on their site Lions Clubs International Foundation LCIF funds global initiatives in health, vision care, disaster relief, and youth services. Their impact—$1.3 billion in grants across 200+ countries—is a testament to the power of collective goodwill. Whether you’re interested in becoming a Lion or Leo, or requesting service from a club, you can search for your nearest club on their site . At Hillside, we believe that every small act of chesed has the power to repair, uplift, and transform. Whether through direct service or supporting one of our valued partner organizations, we invite you to join us in making a difference. To learn more about the Chesed Project or to explore volunteer opportunities, please contact us or call Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary at (310) 641-0707 ext. 103 today. Together, we can continue building a more compassionate and connected world.
How Jewish Tradition Encourages Us to Show Up for One Another in Times of Loss In moments of mourning, grief can feel overwhelming and isolating. Yet within Jewish tradition lies a powerful antidote: community. Our rituals and teachings guide us not only in honoring the memory of the deceased, but in surrounding those who mourn with steadfast care and presence. We spoke with Rabbi Michele Lenke at Hebrew Union College, who shared her wisdom on how community support is not just a gesture of kindness, but also a sacred responsibility. Through communal rituals, personal acts of care, and the simple courage to show up, we can help transform grief into connection, sorrow into healing, and memory into lasting blessing. A Sacred Responsibility Jewish tradition teaches that supporting the bereaved is both a personal and communal mitzvah: a commandment and a moral obligation. “We are taught to love our neighbors and to draw in those who might otherwise be outsiders,” Rabbi Lenke explains. “And when it comes to mourning, we are called to make sure no one is left alone in their grief.” Not everyone has nearby family to lean on in times of loss. That’s why community, whether synagogue, school, or neighborhood, is essential. Rabbi Lenke notes that even small acts, like organizing meals or sitting with someone who has lost a spouse, can be incredibly powerful. “Sometimes, it’s not just about doing something big,” she says. “It’s about showing up. Walking the dog. Picking up the kids. Just being there.” The very presence of others offers more than logistical help—it offers spiritual grounding. “To know that someone is there for you, especially when you don’t expect it, is a gift. It’s nothing short of holy,” she shares. How Communities Care During Shiva and Beyond The seven-day mourning period of Shiva provides a structured space for grief—but it is the community that helps hold that space. Traditionally, mourners are cared for by others during Shiva . Meals are brought. Prayer services are arranged. Someone may simply sit nearby to offer quiet companionship. “Families often come home from the cemetery to find the meal of consolation already prepared. That’s an incredible act of love,” Rabbi Lenke says. She emphasizes that roles vary based on need. Helping with young children, transportation, hosting guests, or simply making sure the mourners aren’t left to organize everything alone, are all helpful ways to make the bereaved feel seen and uniquely cared for. In many communities, chesed or bereavement committees coordinate support. “It’s community organizing at its best,” she adds. “And it’s not just about rituals—it’s about offering people what they truly need: comfort, continuity, and compassion.” Importantly, the support shouldn’t stop after Shiva ends. Whether it’s accompanying someone to synagogue for the first time after their loss, remembering a loved one’s yahrzeit , or offering to share a meal months later, communal care helps mourners reintegrate into life—gently and in their own time. Memory, Storytelling, and the Ongoing Presence of Love Jewish mourning is not a linear journey—it’s a cycle of remembrance woven into community life. “Saying names during Kaddish , naming children after loved ones, telling stories—these are all ways we keep people present with us,” Rabbi Lenke says. She reflects on how modern American culture often avoids conversations about grief, yet Judaism offers a counterpoint: “Death is part of life. Mourning is part of life. And we must create more opportunities to tell the stories of our hearts.” Whether it’s at a Shiva gathering or during a holiday Yizkor service, storytelling and memory help normalize grief and strengthen bonds between individuals and their communities. Even virtual spaces, now more common since the pandemic, can hold real meaning. “I’ve attended Zoom Shiva minyans that were deeply powerful,” Rabbi Lenke shares. “I’ve reconnected with old school friends who I haven’t seen in years. Grief created space for reconnection.” In times when our world feels more disconnected, this emphasis on memory and presence serves as a gentle but essential reminder: no one should mourn alone. And no one needs to have all the right words. “Silence can be better than saying the wrong thing,” Rabbi Lenke reminds us. “Just be there. Listen. Ask with empathy. That alone can be everything.” You Are Not Alone At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, we believe that mourning should never be a solitary experience. Our staff understands how difficult and uncertain the days after a loss can be—and we are here to help guide, support, and connect you with the resources you need. If you or someone you love is grieving, please reach out on our site or at (310) 641-0707 ext. 103. Our compassionate staff is here to support and assist you through this difficult time.
Memory is not just a theme in Jewish tradition—it is the foundation. In a culture rooted in continuity, story, and sacred responsibility, memory becomes the bridge that connects generation to generation across time. It is how we honor the past, navigate loss, and strengthen our future. We recently spoke with Rabbi Cantor Alison Wissot, a Rabbi at Temple Judea, about the spiritual and cultural weight of memory in Jewish life. Rabbi Cantor Wissot serves on the board of Rabbis United (a branch of StandWithUs) and AKLA, and is an active member of the Cantors Assembly, American Conference of Cantors, and the Central Conference of American Rabbis. She will also lead our Mothers’ Day Remembrance Service at Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary on Sunday, May 11th at 10:00AM in our Sanctuary. Here, she reflects on how memory shapes Jewish mourning practices, personal rituals, and the resilience of our people. Memory as a Collective Inheritance “Judaism isn’t just a religion—it’s a people,” Rabbi Wissot reminds us. And what binds a people together across time and place? Memory. From ancient Torah commandments to modern Yizkor services, Jews are taught to remember—not only the past but those who carried our stories forward. “There’s a passage in the Torah that commands us to retell our stories,” she says, “even if there’s no one left who remembers them firsthand. When we do this, we’re not just connecting to the living—we’re connecting to the generations who came before us.” In Jewish culture, memory affirms that every life is irreplaceable. “The opposite of holy isn’t the profane, it ‘everyday’ mundane.” Rabbi Wissot explains. “The metaphor we use is kadosh or life versus chol which means sand in modern Hebrew because in the desert, everything is uniform. But each life is distinct, uniquely enriching, and holy. When we remember someone, we’re honoring that uniqueness—and through that, we reaffirm our peoplehood.” “May Their Memory Be a Blessing”: A Phrase of Presence The familiar phrase “May their memory be a blessing” is far more than a platitude. “It means that what you carry from a person—their love, values, and wisdom—should bring good into your life,” Rabbi Wissot says. “Their presence in your life isn’t over.” In practice, this blessing invites the mourner to integrate the best of their loved one into their own journey. “At first, all you feel is pain. But as time passes, the memories return—and they can make you laugh or miss them. That’s how you know they’re still present.” It’s also a phrase that helps others show up. “When someone doesn’t know what to say, this gives them a way to offer love and acknowledgment. It’s a stepping stone to deeper support.” Jewish Mourning as a Journey Through Time One of the most powerful ways Judaism transforms memory into healing is through time—structured, intentional, and sacred. “You can’t go around grief,” Rabbi Wissot explains. “You have to walk through it.” From the immediate moments after death to the yearly yahrzeit (anniversary), Jewish mourning practices offer stages of remembrance: Aninut: The initial period between death and burial, when the mourner is not obligated to anyone but the deceased. Shiva: A week of deep mourning, when the community surrounds the mourner with food, company, and space to remember. Sheloshim: The next 30 days, a gentle reentry into daily life while continuing to observe and reflect. Eleven Months of Kaddish: For parents, this extended period of daily prayer offers time to process, remember, and honor. “These rituals give you permission to remember,” she says, “and permission to feel without shame or pity. It’s a structure that walks with you out of the valley of the shadow of death.” Mourner’s Kaddish: A Communal Act of Love The Mourner’s Kaddish is one of Judaism’s most iconic prayers—yet it doesn’t mention death at all. Instead, it praises life, creation, and the Divine. “That’s its power,” says Rabbi Wissot. “When you’re in mourning, you’re reciting words of life. It’s the antidote to despair.” Saying Kaddish is also a profoundly communal act. “You can’t say it alone. You need a minyan, a group of ten. In that way, it tells you: even in grief, stay connected.” The physical act of bowing during Kaddish can also be a moment of reflection. “An idea I first heard from my friend Rabbi Dan Moskovitz is the idea that during Kaddish you take a step back as if to see what the world is like without you, and then a step back in to reclaim your place in the world.” Personal and Communal Ways to Remember Memory lives not only in prayers but in names, traditions, and the stories we tell: Naming: In many Jewish traditions, babies are named after loved ones who have passed. “It’s a way of saying, ‘May this child carry the values and spirit of someone we cherished.’” Yahrzeit and Yizkor: These annual and festival-based remembrances allow individuals to reflect with the support of the community. Storytelling: Simply telling a story—especially in front of others—brings the person’s memory into the room. “We’re part of a chain,” Rabbi Wissot says. “Every time we say someone’s name, quote their words, or light a candle in their honor, we keep them in that chain.” Creating Meaningful Remembrance Today For those unsure of how to begin, Rabbi Wissot offers gentle advice: “Show up in the community. Explore what traditions are available to you. You don’t have to do everything at once. Maybe start by going to Shabbat. Try something more than once before deciding if it works for you. Let it unfold slowly.” And most importantly, don’t walk the journey alone. “Talk to a rabbi or cantor. Talk to someone who knows. These rituals are meant to hold you.” In Jewish tradition, memory is more than recollection—it is ritual, resistance, and renewal. It is how we honor our losses and how we hold onto life. It binds us to one another, to our past, and to our shared future. If you're seeking ways to create meaningful remembrance in your family, consider speaking with a rabbi, attending a Yizkor service, or simply telling a story. Memory is our inheritance—and our gift to the generations yet to come. If you have recently lost a loved one and need a Rabbi for an upcoming funeral ceremony, Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary is ready to assist your family in finding someone who matches your family’s preferences and traditions. Please don’t hesitate to reach out on our site or at 800-576-1994 for assistance from our compassionate staff.
Insights from Rabbi Sherre Hirsch