Ethical Wills: Passing On Values to the Next Generation

June 18, 2025
An elderly man is giving a menu to a young boy while sitting at a table.

In Jewish tradition, the idea of legacy is about far more than assets or possessions—it is about values. How do we preserve the essence of who we are for those who come after us? How do we ensure that our stories, beliefs, and guiding principles are not lost, but cherished and continued?


One timeless and profoundly personal way to do this is through the writing of an ethical will. We spoke with Rabbi Jonathan Aaron of Temple Emanuel of Beverly Hills about this ancient and evolving tradition—its spiritual impact, emotional resonance, and enduring role in Jewish life.


More Than a Will: Capturing What Matters Most


Unlike a legal will, an ethical will is not about distributing material possessions—it’s about sharing what made your life meaningful. “It’s a document about values and what you stood for,” Rabbi Aaron explains. “It’s not what you earned—it’s about what you learned.”


Parents often lead by example, but an ethical will gives children a deeper lens. “My kids don’t necessarily know what I’m most proud of or what challenged me,” he shares. “Writing it down helps them understand me better—and gives them a framework to understand their own lives.”


What goes into an ethical will can be as individual as the person creating it: reflections on childhood, beliefs, struggles, forgiveness, love, loss, favorite books or music, memories shared with family, and dreams for the future. “It should be filled with stories,” Rabbi Aaron says. “Ideally a combination of past and future. What do you want future generations to know or carry forward?”


For Rabbi Aaron, ethical wills are about soul, not just story. “It’s the opportunity to say goodbye in a way that’s full of presence. To say, ‘This is what my life meant. This is what you meant to me.’”


A Ritual of Reflection and a Gift of Continuity


Though not legally binding, ethical wills carry profound spiritual weight. In Judaism, the tradition reaches back to biblical times—Jacob, at the end of Genesis, offers his children blessings and truths about their lives. “That’s essentially an ethical will,” says Rabbi Aaron.


The practice continued through medieval Jewish texts, where fathers were expected to pass on ethical guidance. Today, that tradition is being revived—not just as a historical artifact, but as a personal spiritual exercise. “L’dor v’dor—from generation to generation—is core to Jewish life,” Rabbi Aaron reflects. “An ethical will helps reinforce Jewish values, especially when it includes teachings about what mattered most in your life, and what you hope your children and grandchildren will carry forward.”


Creating one can be transformative. “People get great satisfaction from clarifying their lives—what they learned, what they cared about,” he shares. “It becomes a reflection of their soul, and for those who read it after someone passes away, it’s a gift. It brings their loved one’s voice back into the room.”


Ethical wills can take many forms: letters, videos, artwork, recorded stories, poetry, or even heirlooms passed down with meaning. Rabbi Aaron recalls one man who made a documentary-style video and another who created a collage to reflect her life. “There’s no one way to do it,” he says. “It’s just about starting.”


Why Start Now?


You don’t have to be old or near the end of life to write an ethical will. In fact, Rabbi Aaron encourages people to start young. “What I care about now is different than what I cared about 30 years ago. But that earlier version of me mattered too—my kids deserve to know who I was then, and how I’ve changed.”


If you're unsure where to begin, Rabbi Aaron recommends starting small: “Just write. You can change the format or style later. You never know where it might take you.”


To learn more about ethical wills and how to begin your own, we invite you to watch Rabbi Aaron’s conversation with American Jewish University: The Mitzvah of Crafting Your Ethical Will


Planning for the Future with Meaning and Intention


At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, we understand that legacy is about more than making arrangements—it’s about making meaning. Writing an ethical will is a deeply personal act of love, and we are here to support you in that process as part of your advance planning journey.



If you're beginning to think about how you want to be remembered, or how to honor the values of a loved one who has passed, we invite you to reach out on our site or at 1 (800) 576-1994. Let our experienced team walk alongside you with compassion, tradition, and care—so that what you leave behind reflects not just what you had, but who you were.


August 19, 2025
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August 19, 2025
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August 19, 2025
As the Jewish community prepares to welcome the year 5786, you may find yourself double-checking your calendar and asking a familiar question: “Wait, wasn’t Rosh Hashanah in September last year?” The short answer? It was. And it will be again… just not on the exact same Gregorian date. At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, we understand how sacred time is in Jewish life. It guides how we remember, how we mourn, and how we celebrate. As we approach the High Holy Days, we wanted to share a brief explanation of why Jewish holidays “move” each year and why, in reality, they don’t. The Jewish Calendar: Same Same but Different The key to understanding the shifting dates is remembering that the Jewish calendar is a lunar calendar. That is, it’s based on the cycles of the moon, not the sun. While the Gregorian calendar used in everyday life is solar (365 days, give or take a leap year), the Jewish calendar counts months that begin with each new moon, making them about 29 or 30 days long. Twelve lunar months add up to about 354 days: 11 days shorter than the solar year. That difference might not seem like much, but over time, it would throw the holidays completely out of sync with the seasons. Passover, which must fall in spring, would slowly migrate through winter, fall, and summer. To solve this, Jewish tradition adds a leap month: a second month of Adar seven times every 19 years. This complex system keeps the calendar aligned with both the moon and the seasons, ensuring holidays stay rooted in their traditional contexts. A favorite joke captures the spirit of this calendar confusion: "When is Chanukah this year?" "Same as always—the 25th of Kislev !" Indeed, Jewish holidays always fall on the same date on the Jewish calendar, but since that calendar shifts in relation to the Gregorian one, holidays appear to “move” from year to year. Sacred Mathematics and Ancient Intent Today, we rely on calendars, algorithms, and smartphone reminders to track these changes. But in ancient times, the Sanhedrin would declare the start of a new month after reliable witnesses observed the new moon. It was a communal, spiritual, and even judicial act to mark time in accordance with sacred rhythm. Later, in the 4th century CE, Hillel II introduced a mathematically fixed calendar system that we still follow today. This calendar even accounts for practical concerns—such as ensuring Yom Kippur doesn’t fall too close to Shabbat, or that Hoshanah Rabbah doesn’t land on a Saturday, which would interfere with its observance. One Calendar, Many “New Years” Interestingly, while Nissan is considered the first month of the Jewish calendar (because Passover commemorates the beginning of Jewish freedom), the New Year itself—Rosh Hashanah—falls in Tishri, the seventh month. This mirrors the way many secular calendars work: the fiscal year might start in July, the academic year in August or September, and the Gregorian year in January. So as we look forward to the High Holy Days and the start of 5786 this Tishri, it’s worth remembering that the Jewish calendar doesn’t drift—it dances. It reflects a deep reverence for both cosmic cycles and practical life, just as our traditions ask us to honor the past while embracing renewal. At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, we are proud to uphold these sacred traditions and rhythms as we support our community through every season of life. Shana Tova. May the year 5786 bring you sweetness, peace, and meaning.  As we enter this new year, we are pleased to provide you with a complimentary Jewish calendar for 5786. Hillside’s calendar will help you observe Jewish holidays, follow the weekly parshah, keep track of candle lighting times, and honor other important traditions throughout the year. To request yours, fill out the form on our website here: https://www.hillsidememorial.org/calendar-request
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