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Born Into the Light: The Miracle Babies of Mauthausen

Mon, 20 Apr 2026 17:51:47 GMT

Born Into the Light: The Miracle Babies of Mauthausen

In Commemoration of Yom HaShoah

The Darkness They Entered

In 1944, three young Jewish women were loaded onto transports bound for Auschwitz. Each carried something no one around them could yet see: a new life, quietly forming, in the most death-saturated place on earth. Pregnancy in the Nazi camps was not merely dangerous. It was a capital offense. Mothers who were discovered were killed. Their children with them.

And yet these three women said nothing. They bound themselves tightly. They endured forced labor through the cold months of a Polish winter, through exhaustion, starvation, and terror, carrying their secret with a discipline that bordered on the miraculous. They were not simply surviving for themselves. They were surviving for someone else.

This month, Yom HaShoah asked us to remember the six million who were murdered. It also asks us to reckon with what it meant to live, to insist on life, inside a system designed to extinguish it completely. The story of the miracle babies of Mauthausen is one of the most extraordinary acts of that insistence ever recorded.

April 1945: Three Births at the Edge of Liberation

By early 1945, the tide of the war had turned, though the machinery of genocide had not stopped. The three women had been transferred through the camp system, eventually arriving near Mauthausen in Austria. There, in April 1945, just weeks before Germany’s surrender, each of them gave birth.

Eva Clarke was born on April 29, 1945, the very day Mauthausen was liberated by American forces. Hana Berger-Moran arrived earlier that month, delivered in secret within the camp. Mark Olsky was born not long after. Three children. Three women who had hidden the most visible secret imaginable. Three lives that the Nazi regime had tried, by design, to make impossible.

The story was documented decades later by 60 Minutes, which brought Eva Clarke, Hana Berger-Moran, and Mark Olsky together on camera to reflect on what their survival has meant, and what their mothers’ courage has meant to them. It is a document of history, and it is something rarer: a document of grace.

What We Are Asked to Remember

Although Yom HaShaoah has already passed this month, its obligation to remember is ongoing. Memorialization is as moral as it is historical. When we say “never again,” we are not making a prediction. We are making a promise, and promises require memory to hold their shape.

The mothers of Eva, Hana, and Mark did not survive because the system relented. They survived because they refused. They made an act of radical faith in a future that had no reason, by any measure available to them, to exist. That faith was vindicated. But it could not have known it would be.

This is what we honor when we remember them. Not only the outcome, but the choice. The choice to protect life when life itself was under systematic assault. The choice to bring a child into the world at the precise moment the world was trying to end them.

A Memory That Belongs to All of Us

At Hillside Memorial Park & Mortuary, we understand that memory is not passive. It is an act. Every yahrzeit candle lit, every name spoken aloud, every story passed from one generation to the next is a refusal to let the darkness have the final word.

Eva Clarke, Hana Berger-Moran, and Mark Olsky are now in their eighties. They have lived full lives, raised families, and carried their mothers’ stories into a world their mothers never knew. In them, something endured that was never meant to. And in the telling of their story, it endures still.

On this Yom HaShoah, we invite you to watch their story in full. Let it stay with you. Let it remind you of what human beings are capable of, both in cruelty and in courage, and why the work of memory is never finished.

Watch the full 60 Minutes story: The Miracle Babies of Mauthausen on CBS News

Hillside is pleased to offer families a complimentary email reminder service to honor the Yahrzeit on the anniversary of a loved one's passing. Our memorial service includes: virtual plaques and digital Yahrzeit candles. Sign up for our Yahrzeit Reminder Service

Holding Grief and Joy for Purim

Fri, 27 Feb 2026 20:23:05 GMT

Holding Grief and Joy for Purim

A Conversation with Rabbi Zachary Shapiro of Temple Akiba

Introduction

Purim is often described as the Jewish holiday that looks most like a carnival: costumes, laughter, noise, and a sense of collective release. And yet, beneath the bright surface of celebration, the story at the heart of Purim is one of powerful emotional contrasts. It begins with vulnerability and threat, moves through fear and hiddenness, and only then turns toward rescue and joy. In other words, Purim asks us to do something profoundly human: to hold more than one emotion at a time. As Rabbi Zachary Shapiro, Senior Rabbi of Temple Akiba of Culver City, explains, Purim’s power lies in its ability to contain both darkness and delight, teaching us that joy does not erase grief, and grief does not eliminate the obligation to seek light.

The Purim Story: Joy Born from Vulnerability

Rabbi Shapiro begins with a simple truth: “Purim is a holiday of joy.” But that joy is not disconnected from the reality that shaped Jewish life in the diaspora. Purim, he explains, recalls a moment “when the Jews were living in the diaspora, so it doesn't take place in Israel. It takes place in ancient Persia.” The story unfolds in the royal court of King Ahasueros, where Esther, guided by her uncle Mordecai, must conceal her Jewish identity and later reveal it at great personal risk. Rabbi Shapiro describes the danger plainly: “Haman, the king's right-hand man, so to speak, becomes enraged when Uncle Mordechai does not bow down to him, and he targets the entire Jewish population of the kingdom.” The threat is existential: “Haman brought that to the king, and the king agreed, we should annihilate the Jews.”

And yet, the turning point comes from courage, not certainty. Esther is asked to speak, to risk exposure, to step forward when everything is on the line. Rabbi Shapiro summarizes the moral of the story in a line that resonates far beyond Purim: “it just takes the courage of one person to step forward and to say, ‘here I am,’ to make a difference.” Purim’s joy, in this telling, is not naïve. It is joy that comes after fear, after hiding, after the world has shown its capacity for cruelty.

Emotional Contrast: The Jewish Practice of Holding Opposites

If Purim feels like a celebration, it is because Jewish tradition insists on celebrating even when life is complicated. But that insistence does not deny the complexity; it makes room for it. Rabbi Shapiro puts it memorably: “I once read that the Purim story is kind of like a case of emotional whiplash.” He explains, the emotional shifts are fast and intense: “you go from a threat of genocide to life restored. You go from fasting to feasting. You go from being in hiding to being out in the open with full revelation. We go from a sense of immense fear to one of relief and then from mourning to celebration.”

This is not just a literary feature of the Book of Esther; it becomes a spiritual lesson. Purim reminds us that Jewish life has always contained paradox, and that the ability to carry conflicting feelings is part of resilience. Rabbi Shapiro even points to moments of history where this capacity was tested to its limits: “There are even stories during the Holocaust, when people were in death camps, of being able to have a little bit of Purim levity; or when they were in the Warsaw Ghetto, the children would put on a Purim spiel, a Purim show.” For Rabbi Shapiro, this is not about pretending things are fine. It is about a deeper truth: “even in these darkest of times, we're able to do that.” And the reason is larger than any single people: “we don't corner the market on it as Jews, but I we illustrate how humanity holds both joy and sorrow.”

Making Space for Both: Grief, Community, and the Responsibility to Seek Light

As Purim approaches, the question becomes practical: what does it mean to celebrate when someone is mourning? Rabbi Shapiro frames the Jewish calendar itself as guidance: “I often talk about the Jewish calendar as a map of the soul.” Some moments demand joy, others invite introspection. But life does not always cooperate. He asks the question many people quietly carry: “what happens if it's Purim season and we're going through a loss or there's a death in the family or there's a divorce? What if there’s something that tragically hits your soul?” The tension also works in reverse: “What if it's on the Jewish calendar a time of deep, reflective introspection, but you're celebrating your anniversary, or you have a birthday that day?”

Rather than seeing this as a spiritual problem, Rabbi Shapiro suggests there is something “kind of magical” in how these moments interact: “for those who do experience one of those joyful or sorrowful moments near or around a Jewish holiday or commemoration or festival, the two lock together. And they help balance each other out.” In other words, Jewish time can hold us when our personal time feels unsteady.

He also speaks directly to what mourning is for: “the funeral and the rituals of mourning are not only for the person who died, they're for the person or people who are living.” That is why community matters: “We as mourners need to be surrounded by people who we love, need to be uplifted by the community, need to remember through anecdotes, both sad and funny, those who have died.” And that is why levity is not disrespectful. When people wonder whether a moment of laughter is allowed in grief, Rabbi Shapiro answers without hesitation: “people ask, is it okay to make a joke? Is it okay to have levity? Of course. Of course, we need to go through those emotions when we're in mourning.”

To illustrate the prioritization of life, he shares a teaching that feels especially relevant as we approach a holiday of public joy: “there's a Talmudic lesson that asks: if a funeral processional and a wedding processional come to a street corner at the exact same time, Who gets the right of way?” The answer, he says, is clear: “the wedding processional gets the right of way, because we always want to find reasons to celebrate and for life to continue, which takes precedence over mourning.” This is not a dismissal of sorrow. It is a declaration that even in sorrow, life remains sacred and ongoing.

Where Brokenness and Wholeness Meet

Purim arrives with masks, costumes, and laughter, but it also arrives carrying the memory of danger, vulnerability, and the sudden reversal from fear into relief. That combination is exactly why the holiday speaks so deeply to real life, where grief and joy are rarely separated cleanly. As Rabbi Shapiro reminds us, Jewish tradition has long held “brokenness and wholeness in the same breath,” and Purim embodies this truth in both story and practice: “the day before Purim, there's traditionally a fast but that's followed by a feast.” The shift can be immediate and intimate: “We go from fear to tremendous relief, and these two things can be just a breath apart. From one emotion to the other.”

As we approach Purim, we are invited to celebrate without denying what hurts, and to grieve without surrendering the light that still remains. Or, in Rabbi Shapiro’s words, “in our sorrow, We still have the ability, and also the responsibility, to harness light wherever we can.”

Many Faiths, One Community

Fri, 27 Feb 2026 20:23:02 GMT

Many Faiths, One Community

Rabbi Calvin Dox-DaCosta on How Interfaith Values Strengthen Jewish Community

Introduction

In Los Angeles, Jewish life does not unfold in isolation. It unfolds in neighborhoods, schools, civic spaces, and homes where multiple cultures and faith traditions intersect. For Hillside Memorial Park, which proudly serves interfaith families, the question is not whether interfaith values belong within Jewish community, but how they actively strengthen it.

Rabbi Calvin Dox-DaCosta of Temple Israel of Hollywood sees interfaith diversity not as a compromise of Jewish identity, but as a catalyst that deepens it. In his words, interfaith values do not dilute Judaism. They call it forward.

A Living Chain of Tradition

To understand interfaith values in Jewish life, Rabbi Dox-DaCosta begins with Reform Judaism’s orientation toward action and continuity.

“I think that, by way of answering that, I will just articulate that we as Reform Jews are guided by action,” he explains. “So there is, there's obviously belief. There's obviously spiritual, spirituality and connectivity to the divine. All that, that all exists right, through prayer, through ritual, all of that exists for Reform, for modern Reform Jews, a lot of that exists to potentially tap into something more divine and to connect with the universe and God.”

For many Reform Jews, ritual and tradition are not simply inherited habits. They are conscious choices made in relationship to the past and the future. “More times than not, Reform Jews are engaging in ritual practice, holiday, all that stuff, in order to feel connected to their ancestors,” Rabbi Dox-DaCosta says. “It's not just for the idea of survival and to keep it alive, just for the sake of keeping it alive, just because it's tradition. But I think that there is that very acute awareness of like, whoa. This has been happening for a really long time.”

Interfaith relationships, he suggests, sharpen that awareness. They create an “acute awareness of that tradition in a way that I think we take for granted as Jews.” They offer an opportunity for education on both sides: “I think that interfaith brings in this huge new dynamic of educating not only the non Jew, but also the Jew, right, the person who potentially grew up as Jewish and takes it for granted.”

For Rabbi Dox-DaCosta, interfaith values are therefore twofold: “I think it's partly to continue educating non Jews, but also to feel empowered and to own that part of our identity in a way that perhaps we were glossing over.” Far from weakening Jewish identity, interfaith relationships can help “reclaim the vibrancy of our Jewish practice and beliefs.”

Rooted in Text, Called to Action

Interfaith values are not a modern invention. Rabbi Dox-DaCosta sees them embedded in the Jewish textual tradition from the beginning.

“I think there's an awareness throughout the different textual traditions that Jews do not live by themselves,” he says. “It shows up over and over and over again, as far back as the Torah, as far back as the Mishnah and the Talmud and each kind of written, textual evolution of our identity.”

Throughout Jewish history, Jews have lived among others, and Jewish law and ethics reflect that reality. “We see that Jews are constantly interacting with other cultures and other traditions,” Rabbi Dox-DaCosta notes, alongside guidance “to be respectful enough to those people that we are, we're trying to, of course, put boundaries around what is ours… and to also recognize that there are others whom we are living amongst.”

He references the familiar Torah’s call to remember the experience of being strangers, as well as the instruction not to “stand idly by” when a neighbor is harmed. The moral concern is expansive. “It doesn't say, don't stand over a fellow Jews blood. It's don’t stand over your neighbor’s blood,” he emphasizes.

For Reform Jews especially, this prophetic tradition of action remains central. “The prophets were really shouting from the rooftops ‘the belief stuff is lovely, but God really wants action.’ God wants us to treat others well.”

That moral impulse carried forward into modern American Jewish life. “During the Civil Rights Movement here in America, that was at the forefront of what we were called to do. We were called to stand with our brothers and our sisters. We were called to fight on their behalf and fight with them and take their lead.”

Today's interfaith work, Rabbi Dox-DaCosta suggests, stands firmly in that lineage. “Especially Reform, liberal, progressive Jews have always looked out to their community to say, ‘How can we help? We were oppressed. We don't want this to happen to anyone else.’”

Shared Values, Shared Responsibility

In a diverse city like Los Angeles, interfaith collaboration becomes both practical and principled. Rabbi Dox-DaCosta speaks of Temple Israel of Hollywood’s involvement with LA Voice, a network of clergy across traditions working toward justice.

“We are a collective here in Los Angeles, using our leadership responsibilities and our power that we have within our individual communities,” he explains. “We're leveraging that in the larger collective of Los Angeles, making sure that LA feels like a place that is open and welcome to everyone.”

Importantly, this work does not erase differences. “We may not see eye to eye on everything, and that's okay, as long as we're respectful and use our positions of leadership responsibly, such that we're supporting one another.”

He sees this as a broader model for civic unity. “We're not necessarily championing any particular faith causes or religious based causes. We're using our faith and our religious values in order to enact change where we deem it necessary, within the civic framework.”

Part of what makes this possible is shared theological ancestry. “It definitely helps that the bigger religions in this world happen to be Abrahamic at their core,” Rabbi Dox-DaCosta observes. “We're all based on the same principles and the same values. And so there's a natural inclination to lean into that and to say, look, we are all one people.”

That shared foundation makes cooperation feel less like compromise and more like continuity. “We have that as a starting place already,” he says, “so that the conversation is a little bit easier from that point.”

A Door Worth Walking Through

For individuals who may feel uncertain about whether they belong in a synagogue, Rabbi Dox-DaCosta offers both empathy and invitation.

“I think that the choice to enter the building is already a brave one to be honored,” he says. Feeling out of place is natural. “You're entering a community that is established, cohesive, and connected. Those feelings of anxiety and nerves are totally natural.”

Still, he encourages people to step through the door. “I would just encourage people to come to step through the door,” he says. “The rabbis are pretty good about recognizing when there's new people and approaching them and introducing themselves.”

Temple Israel of Hollywood has recently taken concrete steps to embody that welcome. “Just last year, we passed a resolution to allow that to happen,” Rabbi Dox-DaCosta explains, referring to amendments that enable non-Jews to become temple members and even serve on the board of trustees. The decision reflected lived reality. “We've seen so many interfaith families with the non Jewish spouse, the non Jewish partner, being the more active one in our community… Why don't we lean into that?”

His answer is clear: “They are not Jewish by birth, have no interest in converting, and they clearly care about this community and care about the Jewish people. Let's honor that.”

Honoring the Bonds That Hold Us

Interfaith values do not stand at the margins of Jewish life. They are woven into its texts, its prophetic voice, its historical struggles, and its modern commitments. They remind Jewish communities that tradition is not a wall to hide behind, but a foundation from which to act.

In Rabbi Calvin Dox-DaCosta’s vision, interfaith engagement strengthens Jewish identity because it demands clarity, courage, and generosity. It calls Jews to know who they are, to act on what they believe, and to stand with others in pursuit of justice.

When spouses, partners, neighbors, fellow clergy walk alongside the Jewish community, they are not surrendering something sacred. They are living it.

Tu B’Shevat and the Jewish Understanding of Renewal

Fri, 23 Jan 2026 19:14:57 GMT

Tu B’Shevat and the Jewish Understanding of Renewal

Growth, Roots, and Sustainability in Life and Memory

Tu B’Shevat, often called the New Year of the Trees, invites us to pause and reflect on growth, renewal, and our relationship to the natural world. While it is rooted in ancient agrarian rhythms, the holiday continues to offer profound spiritual insight, especially in moments when we are seeking grounding, healing, and reconnection. We sat down with Rabbi Lori Shapiro, founder and artistic director of Open Temple in Venice, California, to explore how Tu B’Shevat speaks to sustainability, embodied spirituality, and the cycles of life and memory.

A Tree of Life for the Spiritually Curious

For Rabbi Shapiro, Tu B’Shevat is uniquely accessible, particularly for those who may not feel rooted in conventional Jewish spaces. “Trees are everything,” she explained. “In Judaism, we call Torah Etz Hayim, a tree of life.” The image of the tree, she noted, reaches far beyond ritual and speaks to something ancient and universal.

She reflected on how Judaism itself emerged through innovation, drawing from earlier cultures and reimagining their symbols through a monotheistic lens. “What Judaism did beautifully is… they folded in the deities of who existed in the past,” she said, pointing to the way early Jewish thought transformed earlier tree-centered traditions into enduring spiritual metaphors. This spirit of innovation continues at Open Temple, where, as Rabbi Shapiro put it, “we say, ‘No, Judaism must keep innovating.’”

Renewal as an Embodied Experience

Tu B’Shevat, Rabbi Shapiro emphasized, is not only symbolic. It is deeply physical. “It’s such an embodied holiday,” she said. “Everything from the way we observe it is about awakening and intention-setting.” She described ancient imagery associated with the holiday, such as the almond trees in Israel whose buds open like watchful eyes, “like the eyes of God are watching,” as the rabbis taught.

Drawing on both tradition and lived experience, she described the Tu B’Shevat seder developed by the sixteenth-century mystic Isaac Luria. This ritual moves through the four Kabbalistic worlds: creation, formation, action, and transcendence, using fruit as a way to internalize spiritual growth. “He gave each of us a fruit attached to one of those four worlds, and through that, we explore how we are trees of life ourselves,” she said. “And then we eat it, so we are really being nurtured by it.”

Nature, Memory, and Responsibility

At its core, Tu B’Shevat calls us to consider how we live within the rhythms of the natural world. Rabbi Shapiro framed this as both a spiritual and ethical responsibility. Reflecting on our modern moment, she said, “In what ways are we living aligned or misaligned with the cycles of the earth?”

She pointed to the restorative power of nature as something we instinctively understand. “We all know going for a hike realigns us. We all know the salubrity that occurs when we take time outside,” she said, describing how time in nature opens our minds and restores our spirits. In this way, Tu B’Shevat becomes not only a celebration of trees, but a reminder of how memory, healing, and sustainability are nurtured through ongoing relationship with the earth.

Living in Alignment

Tu B’Shevat ultimately asks us to look inward while paying attention to the world around us. As Rabbi Shapiro explained, “So many of these New Year holidays are asking us to connect with these natural cycles that occur.” In a time marked by disconnection and acceleration, the holiday offers a quieter invitation: to notice where we are growing, where we are dormant, and where we might realign.

By honoring the cycles of nature, Tu B’Shevat helps us tend not only to the land, but to our lives and memories, reminding us that renewal is ongoing and that growth often begins beneath the surface.

Returning What Was Lost: A Hillside Story of Hashavat Aveidah

Fri, 23 Jan 2026 19:14:54 GMT

Returning What Was Lost: A Hillside Story of Hashavat Aveidah

Where Memory Travels, Meaning Follows

Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary has always understood that Jewish memory does not recognize borders. Our community in Los Angeles is shaped by generations of stories, traditions, and family ties that stretch far beyond any one place, and for many families, that enduring connection includes Israel. Whether through faith, heritage, or lived experience, Israel remains a living part of how people locate themselves in time. Every so often, a story arrives that quietly reminds us just how strong and how surprising those connections can be.

That reminder came to Hillside in the form of an email from Tel Aviv, sharing the discovery of a small brass keychain bearing Hillside’s name and address. Found in the Ramat Aviv neighborhood sometime in the 1960s, the keychain had been kept for decades by Yaakov Israel, who sensed it was meaningful even though he could not read what was written on it. As Noam Yasky, Yaakov’s son in law, explained, the story resurfaced during an ordinary moment. “He gave me his key, with the keychain on it,” Noam recalled. “And I said, ‘Wow, this is amazing. What is this?’” Yaakov told him he had found it as a child but never understood its inscription. Curious, Noam took a photo of the tiny lettering and translated it.

A Commandment Remembered at the Right Moment

What the translation revealed was immediate and unmistakable. “The first thing it told me was that I had to give it back,” Noam said. “Because this is the mitzvah. It’s called hashavat aveidah. To return something that does not belong to you.” Once the meaning became clear, the decision followed naturally. “The moment we understood what it was,” he explained, “Yaakov said immediately, ‘We have to return it. It’s a mitzvah. We have to do it.’” In that moment, a small object carried across decades suddenly found its moral direction.

That instinct speaks directly to one of Judaism’s most quietly powerful mitzvot, hashavat aveidah, the obligation to return a lost item. Rooted in the Torah’s command not to ignore what another person has lost, this mitzvah is about more than property. It is about attentiveness, responsibility, and refusing to look away. In this case, the object itself was small, but it carried decades of care, memory, and intention. Yaakov had safeguarded the keychain since childhood because he believed it mattered. When its meaning finally became legible, the mitzvah came full circle, restoring not just an object, but a sense of connection across time and place.

A Small Object, a Legacy of Care

As the story unfolded, another mystery emerged: what exactly was this keychain, and how did it come to exist? That question led us back into Hillside’s own history. General Manager, Rafael Ochoa, helped illuminate the answer. “The first time I came across one of these keychains was 20 years ago. I had to go back to some of my colleagues to be reeducated on what those keychains were meant for,” he shared.

The keychain turned out to be part of a Hillside service program that began in the late 1950s, an early example of going above and beyond for families. “Program started in the late 50’s. It was a way to offer a service to our families. Each keychain requests that if it is lost, to please return it to Hillside Memorial Park and Mausoleum, an outdated name now. That way, if someone lost a key, the owner could come pick it up at Hillside.” Each keychain carried a unique serial number linked to a handwritten log. “If ever there was a time that the family lost those keys, they would come back to Hillside and we could contact the corresponding family. It was a way to go above and beyond.” The program eventually ended simply because it was rarely needed. “Not many people lost their keys.” The name on the keychain reflects an earlier chapter in Hillside’s evolution, before the mortuary opened in 1980.

Together, these two threads, the mitzvah of hashavat aveidah and a long forgotten Hillside tradition of care, come together in a moment that feels both serendipitous and deeply fitting. As Rafael reflected, “The time couldn’t have been better as we’re wrapping up this calendar year. To have this particular experience has been a reminder of the beautiful evolution Hillside has been through, while always keeping our families at the center of our focus. It’s something still relevant today. Beyond everything we do to go above and beyond for our community. Whether it’s through educational partnerships or community outreach, our services extend well past cemetery and mortuary services.” In the return of this small keychain, we are reminded that values endure, kindness travels, and even after many decades, what is lost can still find its way home.

Remembering as a Sacred Act: The Meaning of Yahrzeit in Jewish Life

Fri, 23 Jan 2026 19:14:50 GMT

Remembering as a Sacred Act: The Meaning of Yahrzeit in Jewish Life

In Jewish tradition, memory is not something we leave to chance. It is marked in time, spoken aloud, embodied through ritual, and held in community. One of the most enduring expressions of this practice is the Yahrzeit, the annual remembrance of a loved one’s death. Far from being a quiet or solitary act, Yahrzeit creates space for grief, connection, and continuity. As Rabbi Jocee Hudson, Campus Rabbi and Senior Jewish Educator at University of Southern California (USC) Hillel, explains, this ritual offers not only remembrance, but grounding, relationship, and a way to live alongside loss.

Marking Time, Honoring the Soul

Yahrzeit is traditionally observed on the yearly anniversary of a person’s death, marked either by the Hebrew calendar or the Gregorian date. Many people light a memorial candle, say Kaddish, attend Shabbat services, or visit the grave. Rabbi Hudson explains that these practices are meant to draw the deceased close. “This tradition is designed to draw a person, who is no longer physically present, spiritually close to us,” she says, adding that it also serves as a reminder that “even if our minds aren’t remembering these anniversaries or these yearly patterns, our bodies and our souls do.”

For many, the approach of a Yahrzeit is felt before it arrives. Rabbi Hudson shares, “I know the significant Yahrzeits in my life are coming before they’re here. I feel them approaching. I often have a sense of growing awareness in the days and weeks leading up to the Yahrzeit.” Having a ritual to return to matters, she explains, because “having a place to go, having a tradition to fall upon, having a way to mark the memory… it’s helpful.”

Keeping Loved Ones Alive Through Ritual

Rabbi Hudson speaks movingly about observing her own mother’s Yahrzeit each year. “My mom’s Yahrzeit is August 14th,” she says. “And that date is seared into my memory.” As the season changes and the anniversary approaches, the ritual becomes a gathering point for her family. “It’s a chance for me to gather my children, to call my siblings and my dad, and to tell stories about my mom. In my house, we usually move the pictures of my mom that we have all around our house onto the table.”

Together, they light the candle, share her mother’s favorite dessert, and remember. “My children never met my mom,” Rabbi Hudson explains, “but they know she was a deeply significant part of my life, and still is. And so it’s a way of keeping her alive.” That remembrance extends beyond the Yahrzeit itself. “I keep her alive by remembering her birthday, remembering her Yahrzeit, keeping her picture up, teaching my children about her values, quoting her, and living out her values,” she shares, emphasizing the importance of doing so “in a way that feels loving, not oppressive.”

Grief Held in Community

In her years of pastoral and educational work, Rabbi Hudson has seen how Yahrzeit creates connection beyond the individual. “I noticed that Yahrzeit communities start to form,” she says. “People who share a week come to know one another, and check in on one another, and remember together.” These shared markers of time foster what she describes as “intergenerational solidarity.”

She also names Yahrzeit as a stabilizing force in a fast-moving world. “Our lives are busy and messy,” she reflects, “and our tradition gives us these tethers, and these tethers are sacred.” For Rabbi Hudson, these practices are essential. “I actually think they’re critical for us to live full and grounded lives,” she says. “The Yahrzeit is a gift. It’s a gift to stop and remember and to draw close and not let time pass us by. Without these rituals, we actually can forget to remember.”

Importantly, Jewish ritual insists that mourning not be done alone. “Lighting a Yahrzeit candle and saying Kaddish are some of the most powerful ways to allow us to do two things at once, which is to live and to remember,” Rabbi Hudson explains. The requirement to say Kaddish in community reinforces this idea. “It’s requiring of us the opposite of isolation,” she says. “We actually don’t do this alone. We need one another. Our tradition says to us: bring your sadness into our joy. They are meant to coexist.”

Carrying Memory Forward

Yahrzeit endures because it acknowledges a truth many people struggle to name: grief does not disappear, but it can be held. Jewish tradition does not demand that mourners move on or leave sorrow behind. Instead, it insists on making space for memory, year after year, in the presence of others. As Rabbi Jocee Hudson’s reflections make clear, Yahrzeit is not only an act of looking back. It is a practice of connection that allows love, loss, and life itself to continue, woven together across time and generations.

Order as an Act of Care: How Organizing Helps Support Your Loved Ones

Fri, 26 Dec 2025 20:17:23 GMT

Order as an Act of Care: How Organizing Helps Support Your Loved Ones

There are moments in life when clutter becomes more than clutter. It becomes a barrier to clarity, calm, and even healing. For professional organizer Shuly Hirsch, founder of Order and Flow , organization is not simply a service. It is a pathway toward emotional relief.

As she shared in our recent conversation, Shuly’s work began by chance but quickly grew into a calling. More than a decade later, she is still inspired by the work because “every project is a new challenge that I love to solve.”

Her insights remind us that organizing our lives is not only about tidiness. It is about caring for ourselves and the people we love, especially as we think about the future.

When Life Changes, Organization Becomes a Lifeline

Most people seek help from a professional organizer when they are facing major transitions. Marriage, divorce, a new baby, downsizing, or the loss of a loved one can disrupt both our emotional and physical lives. Shuly sees this often in her clients.

“My clients are overwhelmed people. They do not know where to start, and the mess is too much for them to handle.” The clutter, she explains, is rarely only physical. It is tied to memories, hopes, and unresolved feelings.

Through patient guidance, Shuly helps people understand their relationship with their belongings. “Stuff is stuff, but it is not always just stuff. It can have memories, it can be aspirational, it can be regret.” When clients learn this, they begin to make choices based on clarity rather than confusion.

The result is relief. People breathe easier. Their home feels lighter. Their life feels more manageable.

Estate Organizing Is a Form of Emotional Support

For families who have lost a loved one, organization becomes something deeper. Estate clearing, Shuly explains, “is not really organizing. It is giving support to the family.”

Grief already asks so much of people. Suddenly sorting through a lifetime of belongings, paperwork, and history can feel overwhelming. Shuly approaches this work with gentleness and structure. She helps families decide what to keep, what to donate, what to share, and what must be handled responsibly, moving at the pace they are ready for.

“When somebody passes, the families are left with more than grief,” she said. “They are left with a lot of stuff, and between the emotional turmoil and the pressure of taking care of the estate, it is too much.”

Sometimes this work involves uncovering memories that families fear may be lost. She recalled one assignment where “they asked me to find a book written in Yiddish, and it was buried in a place full of things. But I found the book.” She even located a translator so the family could read it.

For Shuly, estate organizing is both practical and deeply human. It is a service, but it is also a form of emotional service.

The Most Loving Gift You Can Leave Is Order, Not Chaos

One of the clearest truths Shuly offered is that planning ahead is an act of love. “The worst thing you can leave behind is a big mess,” she said.

This extends beyond physical belongings. It includes wills that are incomplete, accounts no one knows about, instructions that were never written down, and objects that family members feel obligated to keep out of guilt or confusion.

Shuly encourages people to take steps now to spare loved ones later. Her advice includes:

Downsize before someone else has to do it for you

Ask family members what they want rather than assuming

Keep important documents easy to find

Provide clear burial and end-of-life instructions

Work with qualified legal and financial professionals

Decide what story you want your belongings to tell

Preparing these elements is not morbid. It is responsible and caring. As Shuly said, “We are all going to pass away. People should be open to the concept and decide how they want to leave things for their family.” It is not easy to talk about, but it prevents years of stress and allows families to remember their loved ones without resentment.

“It is better to be remembered with love,” she said, “and not with the feeling that it took years to settle the estate because nothing was in order.”

Bringing Order to Life So Loved Ones Can Remember With Peace

Organizing your life is not about perfection. It is about intention and compassion for those who will walk behind you. It allows your home to be a place of comfort, not chaos. It ensures that your loved ones are not left with burdens they did not choose. It also preserves the story you want your life to tell.

As Shuly’s work makes clear, bringing order to your life today offers relief in the present and kindness for the future. Whether you are preparing for a new chapter or thinking about the legacy you hope to leave, organizing your world is one of the most meaningful acts of love you can offer.

If you want to begin planning for your future, the best place to start is Hillside’s Advance Care Directive. When you feel ready to begin the conversation, reach out on our site or call us at 800.576.1994 to speak to a caring and compassionate family advisor.

Bar Mitzvah: Second Time Around

Fri, 26 Dec 2025 20:16:52 GMT

Bar Mitzvah: Second Time Around

Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary recently invited Dr. Ronald Andiman to share his reflections on celebrating his second Bar Mitzvah at age 83, a milestone rooted in the tradition that a full life spans seventy years. His story moved us with its honesty, gratitude, and sense of rediscovery. Dr. Andiman revisited this rite of passage with intention and maturity, finding new meaning in an experience first shaped in childhood. We are honored to share his words and hope his journey inspires reflection on the many ways life invites us to grow at every stage. We hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

Bar Mitzvah: Second Time Around

Recently I celebrated my Bar Mitzvah. For the second time. There is a Jewish tradition that measures a full life as 70 years in duration. Therefore, at the age of 83, I was justified in having a repeat Bar Mitzvah. This time, I wanted to make it mine.

A Bar Mitvah is a rite of passage. It marks the transition between childhood and adulthood, and while, in the modern world, a 13-year old can hardly be considered an adult, the ceremony at least marks the passageway toward adulthood. Traditionally, it marks the transition from the time when the consequences of one’s behavior are borne by the parent to the time when the consequences of one’s actions are borne by the maturing 13 year old. If that is the premise for the Bar Mitzvah then the preparation for it should reflect the intellectual and psychological issues involved in passing from one life station and another.

But my original Bar Mitzvah neither provided me with the opportunity to reflect on the meanings and responsibilities implicit in maturity nor did it provide an opportunity for me to explore the richness of Jewish thought contained in my Bar Mitzvah Torah and haftarah readings.

I also felt that very little of my original Bar Mitzvah was my own. I was an actor in a Bar Mitzvah script that was written by others.

My first Bar Mitzvah took place at the large Orthodox Synagogue in Brooklyn where I attended Hebrew School and was a member of the junior congregation. At an appointed time, I was instructed to show up at the back of the basement synagogue where I met Mr. Berkowitz, who was soft spoken and patient, and task-driven. He was white haired and bearded with a Yiddish accent. He sat across from me at the long, white sheet-covered table in the back, where old men studied Talmud. From the back of Chumash (the Five books of Moses) , where the cantillated musical forms were written, Mr. Berkowitz chanted, “Munach, munach, r’vi’i” and motioned to me to repeat after him. This was akin to chanting an ancient, esoteric Jewish version of “do-re-me.” My rendition was probably awful. I was notorious for singing off-key. He chanted again and I tried to emulate him more closely. After a few backs-and-forths, he shrugged, raised his eyebrows questioningly, and continued patiently, chanting “Mahpach, pashtah, zakeph, kattan” and motioned me to repeat the melody after him. And so it went. After I barely passed muster on the cantillation I applied the cantillation diacritical marks to the words of the haftarah. Once a week for perhaps six months we went on like this line by line until I could read the words accurately and chant them in my version of the traditional tune guided by the diacritical marks in the text. Next, I learned how to use a somewhat different cantillation for the maftir (last section of the weekly Torah portion) text which I learned to read in the calligraphic form I would encounter when I chanted this directly from the Torah.

The task was entirely performative. As a somewhat curious kid I looked at the English translation of the haftarah text which came from the latter chapters of the Book of Isaiah. I could make no sense of it. Mr. Berkowitz did not consider it his job nor, I guess did I, to explain what I was reading. The only Bar Mitzvah task was to read the text flawlessly. I passed with high marks.

I had learned the chant and read the assigned text before the congregation. I was a Bar Mitzvah. I breathed a sigh of relief and did not reflect much about this experience, which was identical to that of my friends. It was only in recent years, when I learned of the depth of contemporary Bar Mitzvah preparation for kids and the program of study for those adults doing their Bar Mitzvah for the first time that I saw the possibility of making the Bar Mitzvah experience more meaningful for me by doing it a second time.

I approached Rabbi Michelle Missaghieh about my interest in doing a more authentic Bar Mitzvah at this time in my life and she expressed enthusiastic support.

There was a wrinkle, however. A Bat Mitzvah – a first Bat Mitzvah-- had already been scheduled for the date of my own Bar Mitzvah anniversary. Rabbi Missaghieh spoke to the family on my behalf and they graciously consented to share the date with me. I was apprehensive that my sharing the bimah (platform) would shift the focus of the congregation from the young woman’s first and perhaps only Bat Mitzvah. I did not want to dull or distract from the significance of the Bat Mitzvah experience for her and for her family and loved ones.

I fully embraced these restrictions and later met with the Bat Mitzvah girl and her mother in order to create some ease with each other and to confirm my intention to restrict my participation and in no way to divert attention from her major life-cycle event. The young woman was effervescent and embraced the plan with a full heart. Her mother was warm and welcoming. I felt relieved and reassured.

With the guidance of the rabbis, the bat mitzvah girl helped lead the service as is the custom at TIOH. The Torah was passed from her grandparents to her parents to her. She carried it through the congregation, chanted her Torah portion and gave her drash (Torah discussion). Then I was invited to join her and together we recited blessings for the haftarah. I chanted 8 verses of it and gave my own short teaching about what the haftarah meant to me. My much longer reflection on it and the meaning of this celebration was included in a pamphlet with two pictures on the front—one as a bar mitzvah boy and the other as the 83 year old I am now.

Rabbi Missaghieh organized a program of self- and interactive study. I labored over the text, researched the context in which it was written, tried to understand the meaning of what Isaiah was communicating to his audience in ancient times and what their experience might have been. I looked at the poetic style and looked at a few different translations to get a sense of what range of meanings one might apply to the text. Over a period of several weeks in a kind of chevruta (traditional paired learning), Rabbi Missaghieh and I shared our thoughts and provoked new ones. I then wrote an essay that organized my reflections. This was published in a booklet that was distributed to the congregation at the actual Bar Mitzvah ceremony.

Since I was asked to read just a few lines from the haftarah, I selected those that were most meaningful to me. I prepared the chanting with the help of an online source, an easily accessible Mr. Berkowitz whenever I needed him. That process was made relatively pain-free by virtue of the fact that I had an original model for how it was done, even though it was a lifetime ago.

The process turned out to be more than a do-over, an attempt to “do it right,” or to “do it my way.” I was bringing my adult self back to an experience of transition but this time it was not from childhood to adulthood but from adulthood to another stage of adulthood. I felt a sense of gratitude that I was lucky enough to have lived long enough to perform this act, that I was physically and cognitively able to carry it off, that I had a wonderful community of friends and family to bear witness to this new rite of passage. It was an acknowledgment that each day we open our eyes to a renewed universe, in a body reborn to meet the day with a refreshed sense of possibility.

On one level I was carrying out my mission to self-correct the limitations of my original Bar Mitzvah, but on another level I was completing my original Bar Mitzvah. I couldn’t have done this one without having done the original at age 13. That event in 1955 contained the seeds of this one. It was the source of the skills and was the kernel of yearning to learn more, to understand more, to engage more. The 70-year process of fruition was capped with a spiritual experience. When the Rabbi pronounced the priestly blessing with her fingers spread over me in the ancient pattern, with the tallit extended over my head, I felt something come over me. Somehow I experienced myself in the full landscape of my journey and I felt…new.

A Legacy of Love: Why Planning Ahead Matters

Fri, 26 Dec 2025 20:14:12 GMT

A Legacy of Love: Why Planning Ahead Matters

Preparing for the future is never easy, yet it is one of the most meaningful acts of care we can offer the people we love. Thinking ahead allows us to shape how we wish to be remembered while protecting our families from the emotional and logistical stress that can accompany loss. “Throughout our lives, we work to protect those we love from the hardships of the world,” Explains Hillside General Manager Rafael Ochoa. “Pre-planning our arrangements is one final act of that same love—shielding them from confusion and stress, so their time can be spent healing, not deciding.” By planning in advance, act with compassion in a way that honors your life, your values, and those closest to you.

Creating Space for Meaningful Choices

When you plan in advance, you give yourself the time and clarity to make thoughtful decisions. Instead of rushing through arrangements during a moment of grief, you are able to explore each option with intention: the type of service you prefer, where you would like your final resting place to be, the music or readings that reflect your life, or the traditions that matter most to you. During a personal consultation, our experienced Family Service Advisors walk through every detail with sensitivity and care, ensuring your choices align with what feels true to you. This process gives your family reassurance, knowing your wishes were made with calm and purpose.

Lifting a Burden from Loved Ones

One of the greatest gifts of advance planning is the peace of mind it brings to your family. Losing a loved one is emotionally overwhelming; having to make significant decisions at the same time can compound the weight of grief. By documenting your plans ahead of time, you spare your family from guessing what you would have wanted or navigating difficult conversations under stress. Hillside guides you in recording each detail so your preferences are clearly communicated and legally protected. You also have the opportunity to choose funding options that fit your needs, reducing financial strain and helping ensure everything is arranged responsibly and thoughtfully.

Honoring Your Legacy with Personalization

Your life story is unique, and your final farewell should reflect that. Planning ahead lets you create a deeply personal tribute shaped by your values, personality, and traditions. Our team helps you customize every element so your arrangements feel meaningful, authentic, and rooted in the life you lived. Whether you prefer a traditional ceremony, a gathering that highlights cultural or religious practices, or a more contemporary celebration of life, your plans become a lasting portrait of who you are and what matters most to you.

A Thoughtful Step Toward Peace of Mind

Taking the time to plan is an act of love that ripples forward. It eases uncertainty, preserves clarity, and offers comfort and direction during one of life’s most challenging moments. At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, we are honored to be your partner in this process, offering compassionate guidance and comprehensive support at every step.

Our team is here to walk with you and help you build a plan that brings peace to your heart and to the people you cherish. When you feel ready to begin the conversation, reach out on our site or call us at 800.576.1994.

Coming Home: What the Return of Israeli Hostages Means in Los Angeles

Fri, 05 Dec 2025 14:41:41 GMT

Coming Home: What the Return of Israeli Hostages Means in Los Angeles

For the Jewish community in Los Angeles, the return of Israeli hostages is a moment marked by relief, grief, and spiritual reflection. Few younger Angelenos articulate these complex feelings more clearly than Lux Steinberg, Director of Development and Engagement at Open Temple and a resident of Moishe House Venice. Lux describes this moment not only as a geopolitical event, but as a wider communal reckoning with what it means to come home when “the place you're coming back to looks nothing like it did before.” In times of uncertainty, this homecoming carries profound emotional and spiritual weight.

Homecoming When Home Has Changed

Lux shared that recently Open Temple hosted a Tisha b’Av observance that was its own kind of bittersweet homecoming. Together, the community walked through the fire-damaged ruins of Pacific Palisades and to mourn the loss and the return. “What does homecoming look like when the home you're coming back to no longer exists?” he asked. At both local and international levels, the idea of return is now tied to mourning, a sense of loss, and the rebuilding of a spiritual center. For young Jewish people, homecoming is not only about physical safety; it is about reclaiming meaning, grounding, and the possibility of community after a violent rupture.

The Spiritual Work of Returning

The physical return of the hostages, Lux noted, is only one part of a journey into uncharted territory. It’s an experience that provides more questions than answers. “Their bodies are here… but where is the framework for the return home for their hearts or their souls?” Judaism’s rituals, including Shabbat, Havdalah, funerals, and moments of communal gathering, offer pathways for spiritual reintegration. Lux connected this to his experience during Open Temple’s Kol Nidre services at Hillside Memorial Park, describing Hillside as “a place filled with nature, filled with meaning… a really amazing feeling of being taken care of.” In moments where spirit and body struggle to reunite, ritual becomes the bridge.

Holding Community Together in a Time of Fracture

This moment has also revealed deep divisions within and beyond the Jewish community. Lux shared his hope that young Jews use this time “as the impetus to come together… even though no matter what our opinions are, we should be talking together.” He spoke candidly about the pressures he sees in queer spaces, justice-oriented groups, and young Jewish circles, where expressing support for Israel’s existence can be harshly judged, and where others idealize Israel in a way that leaves no room for critique. For Lux, Israel is “not perfect, but it is important,” and the path forward requires “open hearts, open ears, and open minds.” Lux trusts in core Jewish values like Hineni, showing up fully, and Tikkun Olam, the repair of the world, as practices that can hold fractured communities together.

Returning to One Another

As the world watches the hostages return home, young members of Los Angeles’ Jewish Community are searching for their own ways back: back to community, back to compassion, back to a Judaism that feels rooted and resilient. Lux’s reflections remind us that homecoming is both a physical and spiritual act, and that in moments of crisis, the Jewish community’s greatest strength lies in its commitment to show up for one another, even across difference. Healing, like return, takes time, patience, and collective care.

If you’re curious about Open Temple, we encourage you to explore the events and community gatherings they will continue to host throughout the holidays, by visiting their website .

Lighting the Way with Hillside Memorial Park and Big Sunday

Thu, 04 Dec 2025 17:43:29 GMT

Lighting the Way with Hillside Memorial Park and Big Sunday

Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary is proud to partner with Big Sunday, the Los Angeles nonprofit that connects people through helping. Founded in 1999 and led by David Levinson, Founder & Executive Director, Big Sunday began as a mitzvah day at Temple Israel of Hollywood and has grown into a year-round movement grounded in dignity, gratitude, and the belief that everyone has something to give. As David explains, Big Sunday is not only a service organization; it is a community-building effort that invites people of all ages and backgrounds to show up for one another. That shared vision is at the heart of Hillside’s relationship with Big Sunday, especially as we enter the light-filled season of Hanukkah.

From One Day to a Year-Round Movement

Big Sunday’s early years revealed a simple but powerful idea: people want to help, and they want to do it together. In the third year, youth from Covenant House joined with a synagogue group and a church class to run a car wash for a marathon-training program that supports at-risk teens. The impact was not the $400 they raised; it was the experience of standing shoulder to shoulder. As David recalls, that was the moment the effort shifted “from being a community service day to a community-building event,” rooted in the conviction that “absolutely everybody has some way they can help somebody else and some time when they need help.”

That inclusive spirit defines Big Sunday today. David often tells supporters that they do not see the world as haves and have-nots, “but as haves and have-mores,” adding, “we’re all just folks.” It is why the organization now “produces, promotes, or sponsors over 2,000 helping and giving events every year,” welcoming volunteers from across the city, including CEOs, students, seniors, young families, people with ample resources, and people experiencing homelessness, all working side by side.

A Partnership Rooted in Showing Up

Hillside’s connection to Big Sunday began through shared community ties and deepened through a shared commitment to presence. When Big Sunday searched for a permanent home, Hillside helped make it possible. David recalls that Hillside “was one of the first businesses that donated to our capital campaign and helped us buy this building,” a gesture he describes as generous, sensitive, and emblematic of how Hillside “walks the walk.”

Since then, Hillside staff and families have joined Big Sunday throughout the year, from the massive Thanksgiving food-packing event that provides dinner for thousands of neighbors across greater Los Angeles, to Friday Field Trips that offer special adventures, including first-time horseback rides, to people who do not usually get them. What moves David most is seeing “so many people working together,” often including recipients who also choose to volunteer. It is a living reminder that everyone has something meaningful to contribute.

Hanukkah: Adding Light, Voice, and Belonging

Each year, Big Sunday publishes an Annual Holiday List with hundreds of opportunities to help at Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, and New Year’s. During Hanukkah, the organization emphasizes gathering with residents at senior communities and care centers to light menorahs, sing together, and decorate spaces not just for people, but with them. David notes that the team strives to be “non-denominational and multicultural,” bringing snowflakes and songbooks, dreidels and blue-and-silver décor, so “there’s something for everyone.”

One tradition is to spend at least one Hanukkah night in a retirement home. Volunteers light candles, children lead blessings, and everyone—residents and guests alike—sings familiar melodies from “Hanukkah, Oh Hanukkah” to shared favorites like “Over the Rainbow.” On one particularly meaningful evening, a resident who survived Auschwitz shared his story. For many younger volunteers and staff, it was their first time hearing testimony in person. Moments like these, David says, embody what the season is about: “taking stock, looking out for those who might be struggling, and trying to assume the best, see the best, and bring out the best in everyone, especially during darker times.”

Big Sunday’s hallmark is radical welcome. “You’re never too young and never too old to help,” David emphasizes. A three-week-old can brighten a senior’s day with a smile, and a 98-year-old can hand out pastries and cheer on a choir. The organization designs opportunities across ages, neighborhoods, and abilities because participation itself, showing up with warmth and willingness, is how we add light.

Conclusion: Come Help Us Bring More Light This Hanukkah

This Hanukkah, Hillside invites you to join our friends at Big Sunday in bringing light to our neighbors at senior residences, community centers, and festive gatherings across Los Angeles. Explore Big Sunday’s Holiday List to find a Hanukkah opportunity that fits your interests.

Together, let us kindle more light—one candle, one song, one act of kindness at a time.

Chag Urim Sameach from your Hillside family.

Hillside Reflections

Wed, 29 Oct 2025 17:15:14 GMT

Halloween and Jewish Values

Finding the Light Behind the Mask: Halloween and Jewish Values

At first glance, Halloween might seem far from a Jewish celebration. Costumes, candy, and ghostly decorations trace their roots to ancient harvest and Christian traditions. Yet, as Rabbi Ed Feinstein, Senior Rabbi at Valley Beth Shalom, recently shared, there is something profoundly good that happens on this night, something that mirrors core Jewish values of hospitality, courage, and community. Beneath the masks and porch lights, Halloween offers an unexpected opportunity to live out the mitzvah of hachnasat orchim, the welcoming of guests, and to remember what it means to trust one another.

Opening the Door

Rabbi Feinstein reflected on the simple but extraordinary ritual that happens every October 31: “On Halloween, we open our homes to one another.” It may seem like a small thing, but in an age when most of us live behind alarm systems and security cameras, the act of opening the door to a stranger, especially a small, costumed one, becomes an act of courage and faith.

He described how “on Halloween, we come out from behind solid-core doors and dead-bolt locks and electronic burglar alarms. The doorbell is met not with a gruff ‘Who’s there?’ and a suspicious eye in the peephole, but with a smile and sweets.” That simple gesture, he suggested, rekindles a sense of neighborhood and belonging that often feels lost in modern urban life. For one evening, fear subsides, and we are reminded that community begins with trust.

The Spiritual Cost of Fear

Rabbi Feinstein also spoke about the deeper spiritual problem that arises when fear shapes our daily lives. In a world where “the evening newscast consists of a 20-minute recitation of the horrors of the day,” it is easy to retreat inward and protect ourselves from the world outside. Yet that isolation, he warns, can steal something essential from our souls.

Judaism teaches that fear and suspicion erode not just relationships but our sense of divine order and meaning. As Rabbi Feinstein noted, quoting another teacher, “Religion helps us feel at home in the world. Without that sense of belonging, we live in exile.”

In Jewish tradition, the antidote to fear is emunah, faith, trust, and the courage to act with compassion even when the world feels uncertain.

Candy, Courage, and Community

For Rabbi Feinstein, the candy collected on Halloween was never the point. What mattered was what his children saw that night: neighbors smiling at one another, strangers greeting each other without suspicion, and families sharing small moments of joy. “If only once a year,” he said, “I want my kids to see what it’s like when fear subsides, and people trust one another enough to open their doors.”

After trick-or-treating, as he and his wife carefully inspected their children’s candy for signs of tampering, he offered a poignant prayer: “God help us.” That tension between hope and fear, between trust and caution, is what makes his reflection so human and so relevant. Halloween, in his view, becomes not a departure from Jewish values but a fleeting return to them, a night of generosity, neighborliness, and courage in the face of fear.

Conclusion: Finding the Light in Every Season

At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, we share Rabbi Feinstein’s hope for a world where kindness outshines fear and doors open easily between neighbors. Whether it is on Halloween, at Chanukah, or any ordinary day, each act of hospitality, each smile at the threshold, and each moment of trust brings light into the world.

This season, may we all find ways to welcome the stranger, to reach across difference, and to rediscover the joy of community, one open door at a time.

Choosing the Right Resting Place: Creating a Memorial for Loved Ones

Tue, 07 Oct 2025 17:35:44 GMT

When planning for the future, one of the most meaningful decisions we make is where we or our loved ones will be laid to rest. At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, we understand that every family has unique traditions, priorities, and hopes for how they wish to be remembered. That’s why we offer a wide range of cemetery options, blending timeless Jewish practices with modern considerations such as sustainability and personalization.

Ground Burial: A Timeless Choice

For many families, traditional ground property offers peace of mind. With the option of single or double arrangements, these graves are set across the park’s serene landscapes. Families often find comfort in knowing their loved one rests within a tranquil environment, tended with care through Hillside’s perpetual support program.

Gan Eden: Green Burial for a Sustainable Legacy

More and more, families are seeking environmentally conscious options. Hillside’s Gan Eden section allows for green burial, returning to a simple, natural practice. Biodegradable shrouds or caskets minimize environmental impact while honoring Jewish tradition. For those who value sustainability, this option ensures that care for the earth continues even after life.

Wall and Estate Properties: Distinguished and Personal

Hillside offers architecturally beautiful wall spaces made of Jerusalem stone, granite, or travertine. Families may personalize bronze markers to reflect a loved one’s story. For those seeking a private family setting, estate properties provide a shared resting place with inscriptions that speak to legacy, togetherness, and heritage.

Cremation and Urn Options: Honoring Tradition in New Ways

Cremation has become a meaningful choice for many families. Hillside’s Canaan Cremation Gardens provide thoughtfully designed spaces for cremated remains, from ground urn spaces and wall niches to garden boulders and companion pedestals. Families may also choose urn property in the Garden of Solomon, with a tranquil water feature adding beauty and reflection.

Unique Memorials: Family Rooms, Sarcophagi, and Custom Markers

For families desiring exclusivity, private family rooms and distinguished granite sarcophagi create serene and personalized spaces. Hillside also offers custom bronze and granite memorial markers, including Lasting Memories™ designs that incorporate photographic imagery—helping families tell their story in a truly personal way.

Finding What’s Right for You

Choosing a final resting place is deeply personal. Some families are guided by tradition, others by a desire for environmental sustainability, and still others by the wish for privacy or personalization. Whatever your values, Hillside is here to help you explore the options, ask meaningful questions, and choose a space that feels right for your family.

At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, every option is cared for with dignity, beauty, and respect. Together, we can create a lasting place of memory that honors your loved one and provides comfort for generations to come. To discover what’s right for you, please call (800) 576-1994 or explore your full range of cemetery options on our site today.

History Lesson: Abraham Purchased the First Grave for Sarah

Tue, 07 Oct 2025 17:35:12 GMT

The story of Abraham purchasing a burial place for his wife, Sarah, is one of the earliest examples in Jewish tradition of how love, faith, and legacy intersect. More than a historical detail, this moment remains a powerful teaching about permanence, community, and the bonds that continue long after life ends. This month, we spoke with our Community Liaison, Sarah Gronlund-Jacob, about the meaning of this story and its enduring relevance today.

A Sacred Beginning

When Sarah, the matriarch and mother of Isaac, passed away, Abraham sought a proper place to bury her. “Abraham and Sarah were two of the first to follow the monotheistic religion,” Sarah explains. “When Sarah dies, Abraham wants to bury her, and this is the first time we get a mention in the Torah about how important it is to have a place for burial.” Abraham insisted on purchasing the Cave of Machpelah from the Hittite people, despite their willingness to offer it as a gift. “He makes it very clear that he doesn’t want to accept it as a gift. He wants to own it.” That purchase became the foundation for a lineage of burial, where not only Sarah, but Abraham, Isaac, Rebecca, and Jacob would later rest.

Permanence, Place, and Peoplehood

Abraham’s decision to purchase the land underscored a deeper value: permanence. “It’s a purchase he’s making not only for his loved one, but with the intent that he’s going to be buried there as well,” Sarah notes. In doing so, Abraham tied his family’s story to a physical place, creating a tangible connection between memory and land. “When you purchase cemetery property,” Sarah adds, “it’s not for the person being buried, it’s for the people going to visit the person being buried.” In this way, the act symbolized not just ownership but also identity, anchoring a people’s history in a sacred space.

From Ancient Story to Living Tradition

Though the Torah story itself is rarely referenced in modern ritual, its themes echo through Jewish practice today. “It solidifies the importance of burial, and then also being able to visit the people that you have buried,” Sarah says. These traditions live on in rituals like Yizkor remembrance services during the major holidays of Passover, Sukkot, and Shavuot. Each of these moments calls the community back to their loved ones’ graves and underscores that remembrance and presence are inseparable from Jewish life.

Relevance Across Generations

For Sarah, the story also resonates with contemporary Jewish life, even for those who may be more secular. “Judaism has a history of displacement,” she explains. “By burying your deceased in the places where you are, you’re also building a connection to those new places.” Just as Abraham established permanence in the Land of Israel, Jewish families have created continuity wherever they have lived, whether in Europe, North Africa, or America. As Sarah reflects, “Many people don’t have a connection to Israel, so why would you be buried there when you could be buried right here? It connects future generations to the place where their lives are.”

Honoring Life Through Legacy

Fittingly, the Torah portion that recounts this story is called Chayei Sarah—“The Life of Sarah.” As Sarah observes, “It’s interesting that the first thing that happens in the ‘Life of Sarah’ portion is that she dies. The conclusion of life is what helps you celebrate the life that was lived, because when somebody passes away, that’s when you acknowledge the whole life they had.” Abraham’s act of purchasing the grave for Sarah reminds us that legacy is not only about the life we live but also about the way we are remembered, honored, and carried forward by those who come after us.

Helping families create fitting memorial spaces for their loved ones to memorialize their loved ones and cement their legacy for the next generation. We invite you to reach out and begin the conversation about preserving your legacy by calling (800) 576-1994 or visiting us on our site .

Marking Time, Holding Hope: Hillside’s 5786 Calendar

Tue, 19 Aug 2025 22:23:58 GMT

As the Jewish year of 5786 approaches, Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary is honored to share our new annual calendar—created to help our community observe Jewish holidays, weekly parshiyot , candle lighting times, and other moments of meaning.

This year’s calendar is built around a theme that feels especially poignant: Hatikvah —“The Hope.” The title of Israel’s national anthem, Hatikvah carries a resonance that has only deepened in the wake of the ongoing tragedies in Israel. It is more than a song; it is a promise and a prayer, echoing through our traditions and reminding us that hope is not passive. It is an active, sustaining force that binds us together, even in times of uncertainty.

As we turn its pages, the calendar invites us to move through time with intention—not only marking days and seasons, but honoring the moments that give Jewish life its rhythm and depth. From the Torah’s first image of God dividing the waters, to the parting of the Sea of Reeds, water flows as a powerful thread through Jewish history. It is a symbol of renewal, resilience, and the promise of growth. Just as water nourishes the earth, hope nourishes the soul—quietly persistent, deeply powerful, and capable of shaping the landscape of our lives.

In the year ahead, may we look for the moments of hope that make us stronger. May that hope—like water—flow freely, bringing healing, possibility, and connection to all it touches.

We are pleased to provide you with a complimentary Jewish calendar for 5786. Hillside’s calendar will help you observe Jewish holidays, weekly Parsha, candle lighting times, and other important traditions.

The Jewish New Year: A Time for Reflection and Renewal

Tue, 19 Aug 2025 22:02:33 GMT

As the Jewish year of 5786 approaches, the turning of the calendar offers more than just a date change—it invites us into a sacred cycle of learning, reflection, and growth. In Judaism, each year is an opportunity to reconnect with our traditions, our community, and ourselves. Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary spoke with Sarah Grondlund Jacob, our Community Liaison, to explore the deeper meaning of this moment in the Jewish year, as well as how this year’s calendar theme, Hatikvah —“The Hope”—inspires us to move forward together.

A Year in the Life of the Torah

At its most fundamental level, the Jewish year represents a complete cycle of reading the Torah from beginning to end. “The one thing that always happens,” Sarah explains, “is that it starts and ends with the beginning and the end of the Torah. And each week, we progress one Torah portion forward.” This steady rhythm ties the passage of time to the foundation of Jewish life and ensures that, throughout the year, we encounter the full breadth of Jewish teaching—whether or not the Torah portion aligns with the season in which the events took place.

Marking Time by the Moon

The Jewish calendar follows the lunar cycle, with each new month beginning at the Rosh Chodesh —the appearance of a new moon. Sarah notes the beauty of this symbolism: “It’s not actually a new moon; it’s the same moon that was just a sliver a few days ago. It disappears, but we have this confidence it will come back.” Unlike the unchanging sun, the moon waxes and wanes, reminding us that change and renewal are part of life. This cycle shapes not only our months but also the timing of our holidays, weaving the natural world into the spiritual rhythm of the year.

Preparing the Heart for the New Year

While Rosh Hashanah marks the formal beginning of the Jewish year, preparation begins a month earlier during Elul . This is a time for self-examination and tshuva —returning to one’s best self. “You have the ability to go to someone you’ve hurt, say you’re sorry, and change for the better,” Sarah says. “You’re not stuck in a cycle of hurting someone again and again.” The practice of seeking forgiveness, making amends, and setting intentions for the year ahead transforms the High Holy Days into a deeply personal journey toward growth and reconciliation.

The Enduring Power of Hope

This year’s Hillside calendar takes inspiration from Hatikvah , Israel’s national anthem, whose name means “The Hope.” For Sarah, the theme resonates beyond national borders. “Even now that we have Israel as a homeland, it’s not guaranteed—it’s something we continue to hope for and nurture. That hope keeps going.” She reflects on the idea of Jewish “peoplehood,” which transcends geography and observance levels: “We are still the same people, even with differences. The hope is for the continuation of this peoplehood.”

Looking Ahead with Intention

As we begin 5786, the Jewish New Year invites us to embrace the cycles that define our lives—of study, of renewal, of relationship, and of hope. Whether we look to the steady return of the moon, the rhythm of Torah readings, or the call of Hatikvah , each offers a reminder that the year ahead is a gift and a responsibility. We invite you to begin the new year with our 5786 calendar to mark Jewish holidays throughout the year, parsha candle lighting times, and more.

Why Do the Dates of Jewish Holidays Change Every Year?

Tue, 19 Aug 2025 20:15:47 GMT

As the Jewish community prepares to welcome the year 5786, you may find yourself double-checking your calendar and asking a familiar question:

“Wait, wasn’t Rosh Hashanah in September last year?”

The short answer? It was. And it will be again… just not on the exact same Gregorian date.

At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, we understand how sacred time is in Jewish life. It guides how we remember, how we mourn, and how we celebrate. As we approach the High Holy Days, we wanted to share a brief explanation of why Jewish holidays “move” each year and why, in reality, they don’t.

The Jewish Calendar: Same Same but Different

The key to understanding the shifting dates is remembering that the Jewish calendar is a lunar calendar. That is, it’s based on the cycles of the moon, not the sun. While the Gregorian calendar used in everyday life is solar (365 days, give or take a leap year), the Jewish calendar counts months that begin with each new moon, making them about 29 or 30 days long.

Twelve lunar months add up to about 354 days: 11 days shorter than the solar year. That difference might not seem like much, but over time, it would throw the holidays completely out of sync with the seasons. Passover, which must fall in spring, would slowly migrate through winter, fall, and summer.

To solve this, Jewish tradition adds a leap month: a second month of Adar seven times every 19 years. This complex system keeps the calendar aligned with both the moon and the seasons, ensuring holidays stay rooted in their traditional contexts.

A favorite joke captures the spirit of this calendar confusion:

"When is Chanukah this year?"
"Same as always—the 25th of Kislev !"

Indeed, Jewish holidays always fall on the same date on the Jewish calendar, but since that calendar shifts in relation to the Gregorian one, holidays appear to “move” from year to year.

Sacred Mathematics and Ancient Intent

Today, we rely on calendars, algorithms, and smartphone reminders to track these changes. But in ancient times, the Sanhedrin would declare the start of a new month after reliable witnesses observed the new moon. It was a communal, spiritual, and even judicial act to mark time in accordance with sacred rhythm.

Later, in the 4th century CE, Hillel II introduced a mathematically fixed calendar system that we still follow today. This calendar even accounts for practical concerns—such as ensuring Yom Kippur doesn’t fall too close to Shabbat, or that Hoshanah Rabbah doesn’t land on a Saturday, which would interfere with its observance.

One Calendar, Many “New Years”

Interestingly, while Nissan is considered the first month of the Jewish calendar (because Passover commemorates the beginning of Jewish freedom), the New Year itself—Rosh Hashanah—falls in Tishri, the seventh month. This mirrors the way many secular calendars work: the fiscal year might start in July, the academic year in August or September, and the Gregorian year in January.

So as we look forward to the High Holy Days and the start of 5786 this Tishri, it’s worth remembering that the Jewish calendar doesn’t drift—it dances. It reflects a deep reverence for both cosmic cycles and practical life, just as our traditions ask us to honor the past while embracing renewal.

At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, we are proud to uphold these sacred traditions and rhythms as we support our community through every season of life.

Shana Tova. May the year 5786 bring you sweetness, peace, and meaning.

As we enter this new year, we are pleased to provide you with a complimentary Jewish calendar for 5786. Hillside’s calendar will help you observe Jewish holidays, follow the weekly parshah, keep track of candle lighting times, and honor other important traditions throughout the year.

How Shemesh Farms and Hillside Memorial Park Nurture Shared Values

Wed, 23 Jul 2025 23:52:29 GMT

At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, our mission is rooted in the Jewish value of Tikkun Olam , the responsibility to help heal and repair the world. That means showing up for our community in moments of sorrow and in seasons of growth. One of the most powerful expressions of this commitment is our partnership with Shemesh Farms, a program of Shalom Institute that empowers diversely abled adults through farming, environmental education, and meaningful employment. In Shemesh, we see a living embodiment of some of the values that shape Hillside: dignity, inclusion, sustainability, and compassion.

From the Ground Up: Growing for Every Gardener

Shemesh Farms began in 2013 as a response to a critical need: what happens to young adults with disabilities after they age out of public education systems? As Nicky Pitman, Director of Shemesh Farms, explains, the original idea was inspired by a trip to Israel, where Shalom Institute CEO Rabbi Bill Kaplan visited kibbutzim run by adults with diverse abilities. "Bill came back and said, 'We can do that at camp.' And so we did," Pitman recalls. The team began with a handful of Farm Fellows, a modest garden, and a shared belief in possibility. Today, Shemesh is a thriving social enterprise where over 120 Farm Fellows contribute to every aspect of farming and production, from harvesting and drying herbs to packaging and fulfillment.

Karen Friedman, Associate Director of Shemesh Farms, notes that, "there's a job for every ability," whether it's composting, sorting herbs, or just sitting peacefully in the garden reading. "Everybody gets to be who they are as they are," says Pitman.

Sustainability as Sacred Practice

At Shemesh Farms, environmental stewardship isn’t just a practice; it’s a way of living Jewish values. From composting and organic gardening to using water-saving hydroponic towers, sustainability is woven into every element of the farm’s operations. "Our garden is completely running because of our compost," says Pitman. "Something that seems like waste is nature’s gold."

This commitment to caring for the land is deeply rooted in Jewish tradition. Shemesh integrates Pe’ah , a traditional Jewish farming practice, into their garden design. One example of this practice is Tzedakah , or righteous giving, by leaving a corner of the field for those in need. "We’ve dedicated a corner of our garden to the Malibu United Methodist Church’s feeding ministry," Friedman shares. "We grow tomatoes, carrots, squash, onions, garlic — all for their community kitchen."

Shemesh also champions accessibility through sustainability. Hillside Memorial Park is proud to have sponsored two hydroponic towers, which have enabled more Farm Fellows to participate regardless of mobility. As Pitman notes, "they’re more accessible than raised beds, and when we need to move, we can rebuild in a day. They’re very Jewish that way."

A Shared Mission: Showing Up for Each Other

For Hillside, supporting Shemesh is about shared purpose as much as it is about charitable giving. As Friedman reflects, "there is no greater Jewish value than showing up for people." At Shemesh, this takes the form of opening and closing circles, weekly meditations, and honoring Disability Pride Month with intentional programming.

These aligned values extend to the work Hillside does every day in caring for families during life’s most difficult transitions. "Your main responsibility," Friedman says of Hillside, "is one of the most important things in the world: to help our community through one of the most difficult times in life, but to do it in such a way that the community comes together and cares for each other."

Both Hillside and Shemesh Farms understand that Tikkun Olam begins with presence, intention, and kindness for all people.

Continuing the Work of Repair

The partnership between Hillside Memorial Park and Shemesh Farms is one of mutual inspiration. By providing their farming programs, Shemesh helps create a future that reflects the very best of Jewish values: community and responsible stewardship rooted in the belief that everyone has something meaningful to contribute.

If you are looking for a way to support Shemesh Farms more directly, join The Hive , the donor community that helps fund the farm’s growth and programming. Hive members are invited to exclusive events and farm experiences that bring the mission to life. It’s a powerful way to deepen your connection and take part in the sacred work of nurturing dignity, sustainability, and belonging.

To learn more about how we live our values every day, visit https://www.hillsidememorial.org/community

Green Burials: Honoring Tradition and the Earth

Wed, 23 Jul 2025 00:13:23 GMT

As many may know, the ancient values of Jewish burial and the modern principles of sustainability coexist in harmony. Through our commitment to green burial, we offer families a way to honor their loved ones while also showing care for the natural world. As Russell Chemerisov, Family Service Assistant Manager at Hillside, explains, "Our green burial section, Gan Eden, reflects both traditional Jewish values and a growing commitment to environmental stewardship."

What is Green Burial?

Green burial is an eco-friendly option that forgoes embalming fluids, metal caskets, and concrete vaults in favor of natural materials and minimal environmental impact. At Hillside, our Gan Eden section is dedicated to this practice. "We use biodegradable caskets, natural fiber shrouds, and no concrete liners," Russell says. "It’s about returning to the earth in the most natural way possible."

This practice is also deeply aligned with traditional Jewish burial customs. Jewish law ( halacha ) emphasizes simplicity, natural decomposition, and honoring the body’s return to the earth. "It’s not new to Judaism," Russell notes. "Green burial has actually been a part of our tradition all along. We’re just returning to it with greater ecological awareness."

Bringing Tradition and Sustainability Together

One of the most powerful aspects of green burial is how seamlessly it aligns with Jewish values. Simplicity, dignity, and a swift return to the earth are long-held principles in Jewish mourning and burial. "Our community is often surprised to learn that green burial is not only allowed within Jewish tradition but that it actually upholds many of its most sacred values," Russell shares.

The Gan Eden section within Hillside Memorial Park is beautifully landscaped with native, drought-tolerant plants. "We’ve created a space that reflects both spiritual serenity and environmental care," Russell explains. "It’s a peaceful, natural place for families to gather and remember."

A Personal and Planet-Friendly Choice

For families who are environmentally conscious or seeking a more natural way to honor a loved one, green burial can be a deeply meaningful choice. "We’ve seen more and more families drawn to Gan Eden," Russell says. "It offers them a sense of peace—knowing their loved one’s burial supports both tradition and the future of the planet."

Hillside’s commitment doesn’t end with the burial. We use sustainable practices throughout the park, from drip irrigation to solar energy, supporting our belief in Tikkun Olam — the Jewish principle of repairing the world. "It’s not just about one choice," Russell adds. "It’s about a mindset. We’re thinking about the impact of every step."

Learn More

At Hillside, we’re proud to offer burial options that honor both Jewish tradition and environmental responsibility. To learn more about our Green Burial practices, please visit https://www.hillsidememorial.org/cemetery-options or call us at 310-641-0707 to speak with a member of our caring team.

Environmental Stewardship and Tikkun Olam at Hillside

Wed, 23 Jul 2025 00:05:26 GMT

At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, caring for the earth is part of our mission to pass on traditions to new generations and our enduring commitment to Tikkun Olam . As part of the Jewish call to heal and sustain the world, environmental stewardship is woven into everything we do, from the way we water our lawns to the way we welcome families seeking eco-conscious memorials.

We spoke with Troy Campbell, Director of Facilities and Cemetery Operations at Hillside, to discuss how sustainability shapes the park’s day-to-day decisions, long-term planning, and role within the larger community. We learned beauty and serenity can coexist with responsibility, and that lasting impact begins with small choices.

Water, Trees, and Conserving Local Resources

“We’re driven by a consciousness of our impact,” says Troy. That impact starts with the land itself. Hillside's 45 acres include lush lawns, shade-giving trees, and peaceful plantings—all maintained with care for both beauty and sustainability.

A key part of that approach is thoughtful water management. Hillside draws heavily on groundwater from an onsite well, reducing reliance on costly, energy-intensive treated water from LADWP. “We track how much we use from each source, and our goal is to lean on the well as much as possible,” Troy explains. The park also participates in a regional water-sharing program, helping preserve the local aquifer and prevent seawater contamination. “We’re not just using a resource,” he notes, “we’re helping protect it.”

In tandem with efficient irrigation, Hillside is continually expanding its use of native and drought-tolerant plants, from the new Garden of Solomon to the perimeter landscaping along Centinela Avenue. Tree preservation is another top priority. “Trees don’t live forever,” Troy says, “but every time we remove one, we plant another. Maintaining that canopy is essential for cooling the grounds, creating a bucolic atmosphere, and honoring our responsibility to the environment.”

Renewable Energy and Conscious Innovation

Since 2017, Hillside has operated a solar energy system that produces over 570,000 kilowatt-hours annually, dramatically reducing the facility’s carbon footprint. “There was nothing forcing us to install the array,” Troy says. "We did it because it’s the right thing to do.”

That same mindset shapes countless smaller initiatives across the grounds. When the team realized that running water features every day was using unnecessary energy, they introduced timers to give the filtration systems rest days. The result? An annual savings of over 30,000 kilowatt-hours without sacrificing the serene ambiance families have come to love.

Even decisions as granular as testing new grass types or converting sprinklers to drip systems are made with sustainability in mind. “We’re always looking for ways to do better,” says Troy. “Sometimes that means trying something new and seeing what works.”

Small Decisions, Big Impact

Even chemical use across the park is carefully limited. “We’re highly selective about any pesticide or insecticide,” Troy explains. “When we treat our trees, we use nutrients at the roots and avoid harsh chemicals.” These choices protect both the land and the people who visit and care for it.

For Troy and the Hillside team, these practices are about more than checking boxes. They are about intention. “If you’re driven and conscious, celebrate the small things,” he says. “Every shift in a water timer, every adjustment in our landscaping, adds up. And when you’re working at the scale we are, 45 acres, those small choices make a big difference.”

A Living Expression of Jewish Values

Hillside’s commitment to sustainability is a living embodiment of Tikkun Olam . It reflects not only our duty to preserve the natural world but our responsibility to future generations, offering them a sacred space that is as restorative as it is respectful.

“We could limit access,” Troy says, “but we don’t. We want this to be a semi-public green space. A place for people to experience calm, beauty, and care for themselves.”

We invite you to experience that care for yourself. Come walk the grounds, meet our team, and learn more about how Hillside honors tradition, beauty, and responsibility together.

Visit us in person or take a virtual tour at: https://www.hillsidememorial.org/about-hillside/gallery

Ethical Wills: Passing On Values to the Next Generation

Wed, 18 Jun 2025 20:50:41 GMT

In Jewish tradition, the idea of legacy is about far more than assets or possessions—it is about values. How do we preserve the essence of who we are for those who come after us? How do we ensure that our stories, beliefs, and guiding principles are not lost, but cherished and continued?

One timeless and profoundly personal way to do this is through the writing of an ethical will. We spoke with Rabbi Jonathan Aaron of Temple Emanuel of Beverly Hills about this ancient and evolving tradition—its spiritual impact, emotional resonance, and enduring role in Jewish life.

More Than a Will: Capturing What Matters Most

Unlike a legal will, an ethical will is not about distributing material possessions—it’s about sharing what made your life meaningful. “It’s a document about values and what you stood for,” Rabbi Aaron explains. “It’s not what you earned—it’s about what you learned.”

Parents often lead by example, but an ethical will gives children a deeper lens. “My kids don’t necessarily know what I’m most proud of or what challenged me,” he shares. “Writing it down helps them understand me better—and gives them a framework to understand their own lives.”

What goes into an ethical will can be as individual as the person creating it: reflections on childhood, beliefs, struggles, forgiveness, love, loss, favorite books or music, memories shared with family, and dreams for the future. “It should be filled with stories,” Rabbi Aaron says. “Ideally a combination of past and future. What do you want future generations to know or carry forward?”

For Rabbi Aaron, ethical wills are about soul, not just story. “It’s the opportunity to say goodbye in a way that’s full of presence. To say, ‘This is what my life meant. This is what you meant to me.’”

A Ritual of Reflection and a Gift of Continuity

Though not legally binding, ethical wills carry profound spiritual weight. In Judaism, the tradition reaches back to biblical times—Jacob, at the end of Genesis, offers his children blessings and truths about their lives. “That’s essentially an ethical will,” says Rabbi Aaron.

The practice continued through medieval Jewish texts, where fathers were expected to pass on ethical guidance. Today, that tradition is being revived—not just as a historical artifact, but as a personal spiritual exercise. “ L’dor v’dor —from generation to generation—is core to Jewish life,” Rabbi Aaron reflects. “An ethical will helps reinforce Jewish values, especially when it includes teachings about what mattered most in your life, and what you hope your children and grandchildren will carry forward.”

Creating one can be transformative. “People get great satisfaction from clarifying their lives—what they learned, what they cared about,” he shares. “It becomes a reflection of their soul, and for those who read it after someone passes away, it’s a gift. It brings their loved one’s voice back into the room.”

Ethical wills can take many forms: letters, videos, artwork, recorded stories, poetry, or even heirlooms passed down with meaning. Rabbi Aaron recalls one man who made a documentary-style video and another who created a collage to reflect her life. “There’s no one way to do it,” he says. “It’s just about starting.”

Why Start Now?

You don’t have to be old or near the end of life to write an ethical will. In fact, Rabbi Aaron encourages people to start young. “What I care about now is different than what I cared about 30 years ago. But that earlier version of me mattered too—my kids deserve to know who I was then, and how I’ve changed.”

If you're unsure where to begin, Rabbi Aaron recommends starting small: “Just write. You can change the format or style later. You never know where it might take you.”

To learn more about ethical wills and how to begin your own, we invite you to watch Rabbi Aaron’s conversation with American Jewish University: The Mitzvah of Crafting Your Ethical Will

Planning for the Future with Meaning and Intention

At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, we understand that legacy is about more than making arrangements—it’s about making meaning. Writing an ethical will is a deeply personal act of love, and we are here to support you in that process as part of your advance planning journey.

If you're beginning to think about how you want to be remembered, or how to honor the values of a loved one who has passed, we invite you to reach out on our site or at 1 (800) 576-1994. Let our experienced team walk alongside you with compassion, tradition, and care—so that what you leave behind reflects not just what you had, but who you were.

The Role of Parents in the Jewish Life Cycle

Wed, 18 Jun 2025 20:38:21 GMT

Insights from Rabbi Ken Chasen of Leo Baeck Temple, Los Angeles

Rabbi Ken Chasen is a leading voice in Jewish thought and practice, known for his outspoken advocacy on social justice and his eloquent reflections on the Jewish experience in both America and Israel. As a commentator, author, and spiritual leader, he has helped countless families navigate the sacred transitions of life—from birth and bar mitzvah to marriage, aging, and mourning. At the heart of many of these moments is a powerful, often unspoken truth: the central role that parents play throughout the Jewish life cycle.

We spoke with Rabbi Chasen about how Judaism elevates the responsibility of parents—not just in raising children, but in shaping values, creating meaning, and passing on legacy. What emerged was a moving portrait of parenthood as a spiritual calling, one that echoes across generations.

Parenthood as Sacred Partnership

In Jewish tradition, the arrival of a child is more than a biological milestone—it is a spiritual covenant. “There’s a teaching in the Zohar ,” Rabbi Chasen explains, “that calls upon us to honor our parents as we honor God, because all three are partners in our creation.” In this view, parenthood is elevated to an act of divine collaboration.

The Talmud lays out a series of responsibilities for Jewish parents, including teaching their child Torah, helping them to find a partner, teaching them a trade – and, surprisingly, teaching them how to swim “That pairing,” Rabbi Chasen notes, “suggests that survival and spiritual growth are equally essential. Passing on Jewish tradition is a life skill.”

Parents shape Jewish identity not only through milestones but in daily practice. Rabbi Chasen encourages families to “regularize” simple customs—lighting Shabbat candles, saying the Motzi before meals, or sharing gratitude at the dinner table. “These small acts, done consistently, build a framework of belonging,” he says. “They can become good life habits, just like brushing your teeth—only these are habits that form a meaningful rhythm of Jewish life.”

Milestones That Shape Family and Memory

Life cycle events such as b’nai mitzvah or weddings are often viewed as celebrations of children—but Rabbi Chasen reminds us that they are deeply transformative for parents as well.

“When your child leads their own b’nai mitzvah service, you’re filled with pride and joy,” he reflects. “But there’s also a quiet ache—you realize they’re doing something very challenging, even for you to do as an adult, and they don’t need you to be capable. They’re growing into themselves. And your role begins to shift.”

These moments, he says, are not about letting go, but about growing alongside your child. “Your love matures. It’s different from when they were infants and needed you for everything. Now, you’re making space for their independence—and for a new kind of relationship.”

Weddings mark another deeply symbolic handoff of responsibility and relationship. While Jewish tradition already invites parents into the ceremony,, Rabbi Chasen finds ways to imbue these gestures with even more meaning. “We often invite parents to join their children in the kiddushin —the betrothal blessing—by sharing the first cup of wine together. In that moment, parents taste the sweetness of the moment alongside the couple.” Brought into this intimate moment, parents deepen their intergenerational bond and makes the transference even more beautiful.

Another ritual Rabbi Chasen often incorporates is the kinyan—a symbolic act of acquisition that activates the ketubah, or Jewish marriage contract. Traditionally done between the Rabbi and the groom, Rabbi Chasen brings a powerful twist: “We sometimes have the couple acquire the ketubah together,” he explains, “but then we invite the parents to hold the corners of the document. It becomes a symbolic passing of responsibility—the parents entrusting the sacred work of love and commitment to their children.”

These gestures don’t just deepen the ceremony—they reflect the broader truth of what’s happening: a shift in the family constellation. “There’s unbridled joy—knowing your child will be loved and never alone,” Rabbi Chasen says. “But there’s also a recognition that your role is changing. You’re no longer the central figure in their life—and that’s as it should be.”

By updating traditional rituals in ways that keep parents emotionally and spiritually involved, Rabbi Chasen helps families embrace the full arc of the life cycle—not just with reverence, but with participation, connection, and enduring love.

Legacy, Mourning, and the Gift of Reflection

As parents age, their role evolves again—not into absence, but into legacy. Rabbi Chasen believes one of the most meaningful tools for this stage of life is the ethical will—a document that passes down not possessions, but values, memories, and life lessons.

“An ethical will allows you to express what your life meant,” he says. “It brings peace, not just to those who receive it, but to the person writing it. It can help us die well—with grace, dignity, and the comfort of knowing we said what needed to be said.”

Jewish tradition offers further guidance at life’s end. Rabbi Chasen encourages families to embrace viduy —a confessional prayer offered near death—as a powerful opportunity for healing and connection. “It’s not giving up,” he says. “It’s a way to make the final chapter sacred.”

Even after a parent’s death, mourning practices like shiva and yahrzeit allow adult children to reflect, grieve, and step into a new phase of identity. “ Shiva flips the roles,” Rabbi Chasen explains. “Your home becomes a place where others host you. It says: you are worthy of care and uplift.”

He also speaks to the impact of personalized remembrance: “Ask if there’s a poem, a melody, a memory that can affirm this person’s spirit. These rituals remind us that even in death, our loved ones continue to shape us—and even those who never knew them can be touched by their legacy.”

Carrying It Forward

Throughout the Jewish life cycle, parents are not just witnesses to sacred moments—they are architects of meaning. From the blessing over a newborn to the writing of an ethical will, each stage offers a chance to model resilience, pass on values, and express love in new forms.

At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, we honor that journey. As you are beginning to think about your own legacy, our team is here to walk beside you with sensitivity, tradition, and care.

If you’re ready to begin the advance planning process, and create your meaningful legacy—we invite you to reach out on our site or at 1 (800) 576-1994. Let us help you ensure that your values, your story, and your voice live on, l’dor v’dor —from generation to generation.

Inclusive Practices for the Next Generation of Judaism

Wed, 18 Jun 2025 20:22:31 GMT

In every generation, Judaism is renewed by the voices who challenge it to become more expansive, more compassionate, and more true to its core values. Rabbi Jillian R. Cameron—leader, educator, and proud member of the LGBTQ+ community—is one of those voices. As the Rabbi of Beth Chayim Chadashim, the world’s first LGBTQ+ synagogue, she brings both deep tradition and radical welcome to her work with queer, interfaith, and intercultural families. For Rabbi Cameron, inclusion is not an accessory to Jewish life—it’s the heart of it.

A Personal Path to Communal Welcome

Rabbi Cameron’s inclusive approach is deeply rooted in her own experience. “I come from an interfaith family,” she shares. “My parents gave me the choice to be involved in Judaism when I was young, and that freedom to choose made all the difference.” It led her not only to embrace Jewish life, but to become a Rabbi committed to opening doors for others who might otherwise feel outside the fold.

“I didn’t just want to be an awesome Jew,” she says with a smile, “I wanted to be a Rabbi who could help people like me find their way into Judaism without as many barriers.”

That spirit of openness has guided her work with diverse couples and families, ensuring that everyone who seeks connection, no matter their background, has a place to belong. “Judaism is joyful and welcoming,” she affirms. “But there are still places where gatekeeping exists. I needed permission to belong, and now I offer that to others.”

Making Space for Celebration, Transformation, and Belonging

At Beth Chayim Chadashim and in communities across the country, Rabbi Cameron has officiated at weddings, baby namings, conversions, and transition rituals—always seeking to reflect both tradition and the full identities of those involved. “Our goal isn’t to abandon Jewish practice, but to reimagine it with integrity,” she explains. “Creating new liturgy for same-sex weddings or gender transitions keeps the tradition alive while making it relevant.”

Even small changes, she notes, can be powerful. “Language matters. I don’t refer to God as ‘He’ or ‘She,’ I also avoid binary phrases like ‘ladies and gentlemen’ or ‘brothers and sisters.’ That kind of precision in how we speak helps people feel seen.”

Her efforts extend beyond ritual and into the visibility of Jewish presence in LGBTQ+ spaces. When she lived in Salem, Massachusetts, she co-founded Tribe for Pride to bring Jewish representation to the local Pride parade. “Marching on Shabbat was controversial for some,” she recalls, “but visibility was more important. People were overjoyed to see Jews proudly represented. It made them feel safe, welcome, at home.”

Sacred Institutions, Everyday Inclusion

From synagogues to cemeteries, Rabbi Cameron believes that Jewish institutions must actively communicate welcome. “Details matter,” she emphasizes. “The language on your forms, your website, even your signage. Those all signal whether someone will feel they belong.”

For queer individuals or those in interfaith families, a form that only lists “husband” and “wife” can be a quiet but powerful exclusion. “Symbolism is important, but it can’t stop there. We have to do the deeper work of making people feel celebrated.”

She also stresses the importance of making Jewish life accessible to people from all backgrounds, especially those who didn’t grow up in the tradition. “Not every Jew knows everything about Judaism, let alone someone exploring it. That’s okay. We can meet them with kindness where they are.”

A Community for the Future

For those in the LGBTQ+ community seeking a spiritual home, Rabbi Cameron has a simple but powerful message: You belong here. “Judaism doesn’t belong to one kind of Jew,” she says. “There are innumerable ways to be Jewish, and people who can help you explore what that means.”

Whether it's the warmth of a Pride parade or the quiet comfort of a naming ceremony, Rabbi Cameron’s work is helping the next generation find a place in the ancient tradition. “I’ve seen lives transformed,” she reflects. “People who thought they didn’t deserve to exist in Jewish space have found belonging. That’s what keeps me doing this work.”

At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, we share this commitment to inclusion. We honor all identities, all kinds of families, and all expressions of Jewish tradition. To learn more about how we serve diverse communities at every stage of life—and legacy—please reach out on our site or by phone at 1 (800) 576-1994.

Hosting Memorial Events: Bringing the Community Together

Thu, 29 May 2025 19:47:33 GMT

At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, service to the community goes beyond funerals; it is a year-round commitment to comfort, connection, and continuity. One of the most meaningful ways Hillside fulfills this role is through hosting a variety of memorial and support events that reflect Jewish values, honor cherished lives, and strengthen the bonds of community. From seasonal ceremonies to monthly support groups and personalized receptions, these gatherings are designed to help individuals and families navigate grief while remaining rooted in remembrance.

Sacred Gatherings: Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Kever Avot V'Imahot, and Grief Support

Each year, Hillside brings people together through signature memorial events that honor the legacy of parents and provide space for collective healing.

Mothers’ Day Remembrance Service

On Mothers’ Day, we gather to honor the extraordinary women who have shaped our lives. Whether our mothers are still present or held close in memory, this service celebrates the sacredness of motherhood through music, song, prayer, and comforting words. It is a time to reflect, to remember, and to draw strength from being among others who share the same tender emotions.

Fathers’ Day Remembrance Service: Sunday, June 15th

On Fathers’ Day, we recognize the fathers and father figures who remain guiding lights in our lives. Our upcoming remembrance service pays tribute to their strength, wisdom, and enduring love. We invite you to join us for a morning of music, song, prayer and reflection on June 15th as we celebrate and honor their legacies from generation to generation. You can register for this year’s Father’s Day Remembrance Service on our site here .

Kever Avot V’Imahot Service: Sunday, September 28th

The Kever Avot V’Imahot Service at Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary is a cherished tradition that offers families a meaningful opportunity to visit the graves of loved ones during the High Holy Days. Our largest event that falls between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, Kever Avot V’Imahot is rooted in the Jewish value of honoring memory and maintaining connection across generations. The service blends prayer, reflection, and community gathering in a peaceful, sacred setting. By creating space for remembrance during this spiritually significant time, Hillside helps individuals and families feel supported, comforted, and connected to those they have lost.

Monthly Grief Support Groups

Our grief support groups are another essential pillar of Hillside’s community offerings.

Led by Maggi Scharf, M.Ed., CPCC, Certified Grief Educator, these monthly sessions are designed to help participants navigate the healing process in a supportive group setting. For those coping with recent loss or ongoing grief, the opportunity to share space with others can be a powerful step forward. You can learn more or register here .

Gathering After the Service: Personalized Memorial Receptions

In addition to public ceremonies, Hillside also offers private reception services following funeral services – a practice that has grown in response to the evolving needs of the community.

“Our Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, and Kever Avot [V’Imahot] services are important events that bring our community together every year” says Mortuary Manager Jenna Moerk. “We also host receptions for families after their funeral service. Both strengthen the bonds between the bereaved and create an opportunity for people to support their loved ones.”

Planning a memorial event at Hillside includes thoughtful considerations: the size of the gathering, timing, menu selections, and any personal touches the family wishes to include. “We’re always open to personalization,” Moerk shares. “Whether it’s special music, special foods, floral tributes, or other unique details, we’ll find a way to celebrate that.”

While serving food at a cemetery is not traditionally common in Jewish practice, Hillside has thoughtfully created a respectful and welcoming space for such gatherings. “We have a large, beautiful outdoor sanctuary patio,” Moerk notes. “Families often travel from all over, and this gives them a place to gather after the service that’s both convenient and meaningful.”

What truly sets these receptions apart is the care Hillside puts into making the experience seamless. “There is availability following your service for a catered reception,” Moerk says. “It’s all organized by a specialist who works with your specific requests. We also have an amazing audio-visual system for videos, photos, music, and more.”

The feedback from families has been overwhelmingly positive. “People love it. They love being here in the park. They find it beautiful and serene, and it’s been very encouraging to know how much people appreciate it,” Moerk says.

A Space for Reflection, a Place for Connection

At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, every event, whether public or private, is an opportunity to honor memory and nurture healing. We invite you to attend one of our upcoming community gatherings or to explore reception options for your own family.

To learn more or speak with a member of our team about planning or attending an event, please contact us directly . Our compassionate staff is here to support you today and in the days to come.

The Hillside Chesed Project: Giving Back to the Community

Thu, 29 May 2025 19:47:32 GMT

At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, our commitment to Tikkun Olam —the Jewish principle of repairing the world—extends beyond our gates and into the heart of our community. Guided by the value of chesed (grace, benevolence, and loving-kindness), the Hillside Chesed Project was created to offer meaningful ways for our staff, visitors, and community members to support those in need.

Through the Chesed Project, we are proud to partner with a diverse group of charitable organizations across Southern California—each dedicated to healing, educating, and uplifting individuals and families. Whether through donations, time, or talent, these partnerships embody Hillside’s mission of service and compassion.

Big Sunday

Big Sunday connects people through acts of service and believes that everyone has something to give. With over 2,000 volunteer opportunities each year, Big Sunday unites people of all backgrounds through shared purpose, joy, and community involvement.

You can get involved with volunteer opportunities on the big Sunday volunteer page.

Builders of Jewish Education (BJE)

BJE strengthens Jewish identity and education in Los Angeles through grants, professional development, and engaging programs for youth and teens. Volunteers can support student programs and events that create lasting Jewish experiences. Learn more about volunteering here.

Culver City Education Foundation (CCEF)

CCEF supports nearly 7,000 students in the Culver City Unified School District, funding educational programs and innovations that go beyond government support. Community donations and volunteer efforts help elevate learning opportunities for all.

You can volunteer or donate to support Culver City Educational Foundation here .

Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion

HUC-JIR is a cornerstone of Jewish leadership development, training rabbis, cantors, educators, and nonprofit leaders. Your donation supports progressive Jewish education and the next generation of spiritual and communal leaders.

Visit Hebrew Union College online to donate to support students, faculty, and staff.

Pico Union Project

Rooted in the commandment to love your neighbor, Pico Union Project provides vital resources like food distribution, arts education, and health access in one of LA’s most underserved neighborhoods. Volunteers help power programs like the Vida Sana farmers market and free cultural classes.

Shemesh Farms / Shalom Institute

Shemesh Farms, a program of the Shalom Institute, offers meaningful employment to neurodiverse young adults and produces handcrafted organic goods. This inclusive model of work and community uplifts both individuals and Jewish values of dignity and care.

You can donate to Shalom institute and contact about volunteer opportunities on their site

Lions Clubs International Foundation

LCIF funds global initiatives in health, vision care, disaster relief, and youth services. Their impact—$1.3 billion in grants across 200+ countries—is a testament to the power of collective goodwill.

Whether you’re interested in becoming a Lion or Leo, or requesting service from a club, you can search for your nearest club on their site .

At Hillside, we believe that every small act of chesed has the power to repair, uplift, and transform. Whether through direct service or supporting one of our valued partner organizations, we invite you to join us in making a difference.

To learn more about the Chesed Project or to explore volunteer opportunities, please contact us or call Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary at (310) 641-0707 ext. 103 today. Together, we can continue building a more compassionate and connected world.

The Role of the Community in Supporting the Bereaved

Thu, 29 May 2025 19:47:30 GMT

How Jewish Tradition Encourages Us to Show Up for One Another in Times of Loss

In moments of mourning, grief can feel overwhelming and isolating. Yet within Jewish tradition lies a powerful antidote: community. Our rituals and teachings guide us not only in honoring the memory of the deceased, but in surrounding those who mourn with steadfast care and presence.

We spoke with Rabbi Michele Lenke at Hebrew Union College, who shared her wisdom on how community support is not just a gesture of kindness, but also a sacred responsibility. Through communal rituals, personal acts of care, and the simple courage to show up, we can help transform grief into connection, sorrow into healing, and memory into lasting blessing.

A Sacred Responsibility

Jewish tradition teaches that supporting the bereaved is both a personal and communal mitzvah: a commandment and a moral obligation. “We are taught to love our neighbors and to draw in those who might otherwise be outsiders,” Rabbi Lenke explains. “And when it comes to mourning, we are called to make sure no one is left alone in their grief.”

Not everyone has nearby family to lean on in times of loss. That’s why community, whether synagogue, school, or neighborhood, is essential. Rabbi Lenke notes that even small acts, like organizing meals or sitting with someone who has lost a spouse, can be incredibly powerful. “Sometimes, it’s not just about doing something big,” she says. “It’s about showing up. Walking the dog. Picking up the kids. Just being there.”

The very presence of others offers more than logistical help—it offers spiritual grounding. “To know that someone is there for you, especially when you don’t expect it, is a gift. It’s nothing short of holy,” she shares.

How Communities Care During Shiva and Beyond

The seven-day mourning period of Shiva provides a structured space for grief—but it is the community that helps hold that space. Traditionally, mourners are cared for by others during Shiva . Meals are brought. Prayer services are arranged. Someone may simply sit nearby to offer quiet companionship.

“Families often come home from the cemetery to find the meal of consolation already prepared. That’s an incredible act of love,” Rabbi Lenke says. She emphasizes that roles vary based on need. Helping with young children, transportation, hosting guests, or simply making sure the mourners aren’t left to organize everything alone, are all helpful ways to make the bereaved feel seen and uniquely cared for.

In many communities, chesed or bereavement committees coordinate support. “It’s community organizing at its best,” she adds. “And it’s not just about rituals—it’s about offering people what they truly need: comfort, continuity, and compassion.”

Importantly, the support shouldn’t stop after Shiva ends. Whether it’s accompanying someone to synagogue for the first time after their loss, remembering a loved one’s yahrzeit , or offering to share a meal months later, communal care helps mourners reintegrate into life—gently and in their own time.

Memory, Storytelling, and the Ongoing Presence of Love

Jewish mourning is not a linear journey—it’s a cycle of remembrance woven into community life. “Saying names during Kaddish , naming children after loved ones, telling stories—these are all ways we keep people present with us,” Rabbi Lenke says.

She reflects on how modern American culture often avoids conversations about grief, yet Judaism offers a counterpoint: “Death is part of life. Mourning is part of life. And we must create more opportunities to tell the stories of our hearts.”

Whether it’s at a Shiva gathering or during a holiday Yizkor service, storytelling and memory help normalize grief and strengthen bonds between individuals and their communities. Even virtual spaces, now more common since the pandemic, can hold real meaning. “I’ve attended Zoom Shiva minyans that were deeply powerful,” Rabbi Lenke shares. “I’ve reconnected with old school friends who I haven’t seen in years. Grief created space for reconnection.”

In times when our world feels more disconnected, this emphasis on memory and presence serves as a gentle but essential reminder: no one should mourn alone. And no one needs to have all the right words. “Silence can be better than saying the wrong thing,” Rabbi Lenke reminds us. “Just be there. Listen. Ask with empathy. That alone can be everything.”

You Are Not Alone

At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, we believe that mourning should never be a solitary experience. Our staff understands how difficult and uncertain the days after a loss can be—and we are here to help guide, support, and connect you with the resources you need.

If you or someone you love is grieving, please reach out on our site or at (310) 641-0707 ext. 103. Our compassionate staff is here to support and assist you through this difficult time.

The Role of Memory in Jewish Culture: A Living Legacy

Thu, 24 Apr 2025 18:16:03 GMT

Memory is not just a theme in Jewish tradition—it is the foundation. In a culture rooted in continuity, story, and sacred responsibility, memory becomes the bridge that connects generation to generation across time. It is how we honor the past, navigate loss, and strengthen our future.

We recently spoke with Rabbi Cantor Alison Wissot, a Rabbi at Temple Judea, about the spiritual and cultural weight of memory in Jewish life. Rabbi Cantor Wissot serves on the board of Rabbis United (a branch of StandWithUs) and AKLA, and is an active member of the Cantors Assembly, American Conference of Cantors, and the Central Conference of American Rabbis. She will also lead our Mothers’ Day Remembrance Service at Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary on Sunday, May 11th at 10:00AM in our Sanctuary.

Here, she reflects on how memory shapes Jewish mourning practices, personal rituals, and the resilience of our people.

Memory as a Collective Inheritance

“Judaism isn’t just a religion—it’s a people,” Rabbi Wissot reminds us. And what binds a people together across time and place? Memory. From ancient Torah commandments to modern Yizkor services, Jews are taught to remember—not only the past but those who carried our stories forward.

“There’s a passage in the Torah that commands us to retell our stories,” she says, “even if there’s no one left who remembers them firsthand. When we do this, we’re not just connecting to the living—we’re connecting to the generations who came before us.”

In Jewish culture, memory affirms that every life is irreplaceable. “The opposite of holy isn’t the profane, it ‘everyday’ mundane.” Rabbi Wissot explains. “The metaphor we use is kadosh or life versus chol which means sand in modern Hebrew because in the desert, everything is uniform. But each life is distinct, uniquely enriching, and holy. When we remember someone, we’re honoring that uniqueness—and through that, we reaffirm our peoplehood.”

“May Their Memory Be a Blessing”: A Phrase of Presence

The familiar phrase “May their memory be a blessing” is far more than a platitude. “It means that what you carry from a person—their love, values, and wisdom—should bring good into your life,” Rabbi Wissot says. “Their presence in your life isn’t over.”

In practice, this blessing invites the mourner to integrate the best of their loved one into their own journey. “At first, all you feel is pain. But as time passes, the memories return—and they can make you laugh or miss them. That’s how you know they’re still present.”

It’s also a phrase that helps others show up. “When someone doesn’t know what to say, this gives them a way to offer love and acknowledgment. It’s a stepping stone to deeper support.”

Jewish Mourning as a Journey Through Time

One of the most powerful ways Judaism transforms memory into healing is through time—structured, intentional, and sacred. “You can’t go around grief,” Rabbi Wissot explains. “You have to walk through it.”

From the immediate moments after death to the yearly yahrzeit (anniversary), Jewish mourning practices offer stages of remembrance:

Aninut: The initial period between death and burial, when the mourner is not obligated to anyone but the deceased.

Shiva: A week of deep mourning, when the community surrounds the mourner with food, company, and space to remember.
Sheloshim: The next 30 days, a gentle reentry into daily life while continuing to observe and reflect.

Eleven Months of Kaddish: For parents, this extended period of daily prayer offers time to process, remember, and honor.

“These rituals give you permission to remember,” she says, “and permission to feel without shame or pity. It’s a structure that walks with you out of the valley of the shadow of death.”

Mourner’s Kaddish: A Communal Act of Love

The Mourner’s Kaddish is one of Judaism’s most iconic prayers—yet it doesn’t mention death at all. Instead, it praises life, creation, and the Divine. “That’s its power,” says Rabbi Wissot. “When you’re in mourning, you’re reciting words of life. It’s the antidote to despair.”

Saying Kaddish is also a profoundly communal act. “You can’t say it alone. You need a minyan, a group of ten. In that way, it tells you: even in grief, stay connected.”

The physical act of bowing during Kaddish can also be a moment of reflection. “An idea I first heard from my friend Rabbi Dan Moskovitz is the idea that during Kaddish you take a step back as if to see what the world is like without you, and then a step back in to reclaim your place in the world.”

Personal and Communal Ways to Remember

Memory lives not only in prayers but in names, traditions, and the stories we tell:

Naming: In many Jewish traditions, babies are named after loved ones who have passed. “It’s a way of saying, ‘May this child carry the values and spirit of someone we cherished.’”

Yahrzeit and Yizkor: These annual and festival-based remembrances allow individuals to reflect with the support of the community.

Storytelling: Simply telling a story—especially in front of others—brings the person’s memory into the room.

“We’re part of a chain,” Rabbi Wissot says. “Every time we say someone’s name, quote their words, or light a candle in their honor, we keep them in that chain.”

Creating Meaningful Remembrance Today

For those unsure of how to begin, Rabbi Wissot offers gentle advice: “Show up in the community. Explore what traditions are available to you. You don’t have to do everything at once. Maybe start by going to Shabbat. Try something more than once before deciding if it works for you. Let it unfold slowly.”

And most importantly, don’t walk the journey alone. “Talk to a rabbi or cantor. Talk to someone who knows. These rituals are meant to hold you.”

In Jewish tradition, memory is more than recollection—it is ritual, resistance, and renewal. It is how we honor our losses and how we hold onto life. It binds us to one another, to our past, and to our shared future.

If you're seeking ways to create meaningful remembrance in your family, consider speaking with a rabbi, attending a Yizkor service, or simply telling a story. Memory is our inheritance—and our gift to the generations yet to come.

If you have recently lost a loved one and need a Rabbi for an upcoming funeral ceremony, Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary is ready to assist your family in finding someone who matches your family’s preferences and traditions.

Please don’t hesitate to reach out on our site or at 800-576-1994 for assistance from our compassionate staff.

A Guide to Jewish Funeral Traditions: Honoring Our Loved Ones

Thu, 24 Apr 2025 17:39:45 GMT

Insights from Rabbi Sherre Hirsch

Jewish funeral traditions are steeped in values of dignity, community, and memory—guiding the living as they grieve, and honoring the deceased with compassion and respect. These customs are not just rituals; they are tools to help the bereaved remember their loved ones deeply and meaningfully.

We were honored to speak with Rabbi Sherre Hirsch , who generously gave us her time to explore the meaning and purpose behind these traditions. Rabbi Hirsch is currently Founder of the Collaborative. She has served in the past as the Chief Innovation Office of American Jewish University, Senior Rabbinic Scholar of Hillel International, Spirituality Consultant at Canyon Ranch Health Resorts, and Associate Rabbi at Sinai Temple. Her perspective offers deep insight into how these sacred practices help mourners navigate one of life’s most difficult journeys, and we hope they help you or someone in need.

Core Principles of Jewish Funerals

Every Jewish funeral revolves around a few core principles: honoring the life and death of the deceased (kavod ha-met) and supporting the mourners (nichum aveilim). Rabbi Hirsch emphasizes that Jewish funerals are structured around acts that reflect dignity—for both the one who has died and those who grieve.

Rituals such as keriah (the symbolic tearing of a ribbon or cloth), the recitation of Mourner’s Kaddish, Tehillim (Psalms), and the hesped (eulogy) are central components of every funeral. There is deep intention behind even the smallest customs—like placing stones on the grave instead of flowers, which avoids the contrast between the living and the dead, reminding us of the permanence of memory.

One of the most poignant customs is the act of burial itself, known as chesed shel emet—“the truest act of kindness”—because it is done for someone who cannot repay you. Even the way the shovel is passed from hand to hand holds meaning, reinforcing humility and care.

The Role of the Chevra Kadisha

The Chevra Kadisha, or "Sacred Society," is a group entrusted with preparing the body for burial. They perform the taharah, a ritual purification, in which the body is gently washed and dressed in simple white shrouds (tachrichim). This is considered an act of great spiritual courage and love.

Historically, death was seen as something fearful and even contagious. Members of the Chevra Kadisha take on the sacred responsibility of caring for the deceased despite those fears, affirming that the dignity of the dead outweighs the fear of death itself.

The Importance of Immediate Burial

Jewish tradition urges prompt burial, ideally within 24 hours of death. This urgency comes from both spiritual and practical reasoning. Delaying burial can feel like leaving the soul in limbo, and it also puts the body at risk. Only in special cases—such as awaiting close family from afar or the return of a rabbi—might burial be postponed.

As Rabbi Hirsch puts it, “You are released from all other obligations to perform the mitzvah of burial.” It’s a sacred priority, a final service of love and care.

Why Simplicity Matters

In traditional Jewish practice, elaborate caskets and flashy funerals are discouraged. A simple, unadorned wooden box—or even burial directly in the earth—is preferred. This is rooted in the belief that we all return to God equally, and we should not build hierarchies in death. As Rabbi Hirsch notes, “[Death] is the great equalizer. We all come in the same way and we all go out the same way.”

Mourning as a Sacred Journey

Jewish mourning is a gradual and layered process designed to guide mourners through their grief, rather than around it.

Shiva (seven days): The first and most intense mourning period begins right after burial. Mourners stay home, surrounded by community, and receive meals, prayers, and space to remember. Mirrors are covered, symbolizing a shift from outward appearances to inward reflection. On the seventh day, mourners take a symbolic walk outside—seven loops—to reenter the world.
Sheloshim (thirty days): The next 23 days continue the process. Mourners begin to return to daily life but refrain from parties, shopping, or other celebratory acts. Kaddish is still said three times daily.
The First Year: For those mourning a parent, the mourning continues for 11 months, with ongoing recitation of Kaddish. At 12 months, the yahrzeit—the annual remembrance—marks the conclusion of the formal mourning period.

Each stage honors the reality of grief while gently guiding mourners back to life.

Diversity Within Tradition

While the fundamentals are shared, practices vary widely across communities—Ashkenazi, Sephardic, Mizrahi, and more. Some customs differ based on local traditions or rabbinic guidance. This diversity is part of what makes Judaism resilient and vibrant: “Diversity of thought is what keeps Judaism strong.”

Guidance for the Unfamiliar

If you’re unfamiliar with Jewish customs but want to honor a loved one in a meaningful way, Rabbi Hirsch has simple advice: find a Rabbi. “You don’t have to be a member of a synagogue—rabbis will take these calls,” she says. Local Jewish mortuaries, organizations like 18Doors , or websites like "Rent-a-Rabbi" can connect you with trusted guidance.

The Relevance of Tradition Today

At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, we pass down traditions to a new generation because ultimately they are about honoring life. Traditions offer structured, meaningful ways to remember our loved ones, care for the grieving, and remind us that mourning is not meant to be done alone. In every tear, every prayer, and every stone placed on a grave, we say: You mattered. You are remembered. You are loved.

If a loved one has recently passed away and you are seeking support, Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary holds a monthly grief group for those navigating loss. Led by Maggie Scharf, M.Ed., CPCC, Certified Grief Educator, each group meeting is designed to help participants explore the healing process in the company of others sharing similar experiences and can be joined on our site .

Exploring Shivah: A Sacred Space for Grief, Memory, and Healing

Thu, 03 Apr 2025 17:44:50 GMT

Understanding the Role of Shivah in Jewish Mourning Practices

In Jewish tradition, mourning is not left to chance. It is structured, sacred, and deeply compassionate. One of the most essential periods in this process is shivah —a seven-day observance that begins immediately after the burial of a loved one. More than a ritual, shivah is a spiritual framework that helps mourners begin the difficult journey from loss toward healing.

We also recognize that shivah can look different across families, communities, and levels of observance. While this guide explores traditional Jewish customs, it’s important to remember that not all Jewish families observe shivah in the same way—and that’s okay. The heart of the tradition is care, remembrance, and communal support, no matter how it's expressed.

What Is Shivah?

shivah (שִׁבְעָה) means “seven” in Hebrew, referring to the seven-day mourning period traditionally observed by the immediate family of the deceased: parents, children, siblings, and spouses. It begins after burial and marks the first official stage of Jewish mourning.

During this time, mourners become aveilim (mourners) and are supported by their community through acts of presence, prayer, and care. As Rabbi Sherre Hirsch shares, “shivah begins the moment the body is buried, and it helps the family remember there’s a reason to go on living.”

Whether observed in its full traditional form or adapted to meet personal or cultural needs, the purpose of shivah remains the same: to provide space for mourning, healing, and memory.

The Purpose of Shivah

Shivah offers mourners a protected, sacred pause. It encourages them to slow down, to be cared for by their community, and to begin processing their grief. It also offers a ritualized structure that gently supports mourners through the most immediate days of loss.

The first act in many shivah homes is a meal, brought by others, to reaffirm life. This “meal of consolation” often includes round foods—like hard-boiled eggs or lentils—symbolizing the cycle of life. Whether strictly kosher, vegetarian, or simply comforting, food becomes a vessel of love and presence, reminding mourners that they are not alone.

Traditional Shivah Practices (and How They May Vary)

In traditional Jewish communities, shivah includes specific customs meant to express grief, remove distractions, and honor the deceased. However, how—and whether—these practices are observed can vary widely. Many families adapt these rituals to reflect their beliefs, culture, or comfort level. Some may follow every detail of halachic (Jewish legal) practice, while others may embrace more symbolic, personal approaches.

Here are some of the traditional customs, along with notes on how they may be interpreted or adjusted:

Sitting low: Traditionally, mourners sit on low stools or the floor, symbolizing humility and sorrow. Many families choose standard seating, prioritizing comfort over symbolism.
Covering mirrors: In traditional shivah homes, mirrors are covered to shift the focus inward. Some may skip this custom or modify it by covering only some mirrors or using symbolic cloths.
Tearing garments ( keriah ): Mourners may wear a ripped ribbon or tear their clothing to symbolize a broken heart. Others may opt for a less visible or symbolic expression of loss.
Reciting Kaddish: The Mourner’s Kaddish is traditionally said daily with a minyan (a quorum of ten Jewish adults). In more liberal or secular homes, Kaddish may be recited privately, communally, or omitted altogether.
Pausing grooming and celebrations: Traditional mourners refrain from grooming, wearing leather, listening to music, or attending joyous events. Some families may modify or skip these restrictions based on their personal values or emotional needs.

At its core, shivah is not about strict adherence – it’s about creating space to grieve, however, that looks for each family.

The Seventh Day: Reentering the World

On the final day of shivah, a traditional custom is for mourners to take a brief walk outside—sometimes in seven loops—to symbolically reenter the world. Some may choose to observe this practice; others may prefer a different ritual of transition or none at all. The intention is to acknowledge the shift from intense mourning to the next phase of healing.

Mourning Beyond Shivah

Jewish mourning continues long after shivah. These sacred stages help guide the grieving process at a gentle pace:

Sheloshim (30 Days): The 23 days following shivah are a transitional period. Mourners begin to resume daily life but still refrain from festivities. Some return to work, but often avoid celebrations or large gatherings.
The First Year: For those mourning a parent, mourning traditionally continues for 11 months with daily Kaddish recitation. At 12 months, mourners observe yahrzeit , the anniversary of the death, with prayer, candle lighting, and reflection. Again, the level of observance varies. Some families may mark these dates with quiet personal rituals instead of communal prayer.

These practices provide a long, compassionate arc of mourning—designed not to rush grief, but to walk beside it.

Shivah Etiquette: How to Support the Bereaved

If you're visiting a shivah home or supporting someone in mourning, consider the following guidance, applicable whether you're entering a traditional home or a more modern, flexible setting:

Be present. You don’t need perfect words. Often, your presence and a simple “I’m so sorry” mean the most.
Follow the mourner’s lead. Let them guide the conversation. If they want to talk about their loved one, listen. If they need silence, honor that too.
Bring food or help. Practical support—meals, errands, childcare—is always appreciated.
Respect the tone of the home. Some shivah homes are quiet and prayerful; others are filled with storytelling, laughter, and informal gathering. Take your cues from the family.
Avoid clichés. Phrases like “They’re in a better place” or “At least they lived a long life” can unintentionally sound like you are minimizing grief. Let your words be simple and sincere.

Why Shivah Still Matters

In an age of busyness and performative grief, shivah invites us to be still. It calls families and communities to gather, not just in sadness, but in sacred remembrance. It acknowledges that grief deserves time and care, that no one should mourn alone, and that memory is a form of love that continues.

Whether you observe shivah traditionally, adapt it to suit your needs, or simply show up for someone who is grieving—know that you are participating in one of Judaism’s most enduring and compassionate rituals.

If a loved one has recently passed away and you are seeking support, Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary holds a monthly grief group for those navigating loss. Led by Maggi Scharf, M.Ed., CPCC, Certified Grief Educator, each group meeting is designed to help participants explore the healing process in the company of others sharing similar experiences and can be joined on our site .

The Rabbi’s Role in Jewish Funerals

Thu, 03 Apr 2025 17:27:53 GMT

A Conversation with Rabbi Brian Schuldenfrei

One of the most sacred and meaningful responsibilities a Rabbi can undertake is officiating a funeral—a moment of profound transition, reflection, and honor. It is a role that requires compassion, presence, and a deep understanding of tradition and community. To explore this sacred duty in greater depth, we sat with Brian Schuldenfrei, the senior Rabbi at Adat Ari El, a Progressive Conservative Congregation in Valley Village, to discuss his experience guiding families through the Jewish funeral and mourning process. In this candid and heartfelt interview, Rabbi Schuldenfrei shares the emotional, spiritual, and human aspects of his role, and the enduring power of Jewish ritual to bring comfort, connection, and dignity in the face of loss.

Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary (HMPM): Can you walk us through the key elements of a Jewish funeral service and your role in leading them?

Rabbi Schuldenfrei: Often, when people learn that I’m a Rabbi and I officiate funerals, they ask, “Is that a difficult part of your job?” It can be, but it’s also one of the most rewarding. It’s a sacred honor to be entrusted with facilitating the ceremony that marks the closing of a person’s life. It is literally awesome, and it should feel weighty.

Funerals also vary widely. A funeral is largely about storytelling – telling the story of a person’s life. Sometimes, I tell the entire story; other times, I share it with family members, or I simply facilitate while others tell it. The goal is to help people celebrate that story while recognizing the loss and understanding that the story has concluded. It’s complex—so no two funerals are ever the same.

You also meet incredible people. I’m still in the process of burying members of the Greatest Generation; people who served in or lived through World War II. That generation tends to think first about their community, unlike younger generations who are often more self-oriented. For them, their lives are Torah.

When I go home, I reflect on what I want to remember. When you’re officiating for the Greatest Generation, you’re often honoring people who made profound sacrifices for others.

We’re also now burying the Baby Boomers, and that brings its own reflection—they were the ones who protested for social activism and challenged the American status quo.

Every time, I’m asking “What is the story of this person’s life, and how are we going to honor that story?”

HMPM: How do you approach writing and delivering a eulogy ( hesped ) that honors the deceased while also comforting the mourners?

Rabbi Schuldenfrei: The best way to write a eulogy is to listen—truly listen. Whether or not I had a personal relationship with the deceased, I listen to the family’s stories. Who are they? What was this person about?

It’s not unusual for someone to call me and say, “I’m ill, and I know you’ll officiate my funeral. I’d like to talk to you about that.” And if it’s a complete stranger, listening becomes even more essential. When I visit a family, I spend hours just listening. The goal is to tell the story they want to tell. There’s no single objective truth; each person will have their own takeaways. What matters most to me is honoring how the family wants this life to be eulogized, memorialized, and consecrated.

HMPM: In what ways do you provide spiritual guidance to grieving families before, during, and after the funeral?

Rabbi Schuldenfrei: I try to provide presence; to simply be there for the family. Traditionally, people host a reception during Shiva or after the burial. Often, the mourners worry about logistics. Did the food arrive? In our tradition, it’s our responsibility as the community to handle that. Spiritual counseling, to me, means showing up – being there in person. Sometimes that means sitting quietly in someone’s home.

We also check in on families afterward. Our synagogue has hosted bereavement groups and we try to acknowledge that a family’s life has changed irreversibly.

For some, I’m just a religious functionary, fulfilling the deceased’s wishes. I may never see that family again. For others, members of our community, we follow up, offer ongoing support, and invite them into grief groups.

HMPM: How do you help families unfamiliar with Jewish funeral customs understand and participate in the traditions?

Rabbi Schuldenfrei: I meet people where they are, with warmth and friendliness. I keep explanations simple. People are often overwhelmed, so I don’t want to overload them with information. I try to connect and be present with them.

The last thing I want is for them to feel judged. Sometimes people tell me what they think I want to hear: “Rabbi, we only went to synagogue twice a year, but it was really important to my husband – he never ate pork, etc.” But I just want to know how they loved this person and how this person loved them. It’s not my job to evaluate their Jewish observance. I want to hear how Grandpa told jokes, or that he had a mouth like a sailor. Let Grandpa be who he was. Don’t turn him into who you think I want him to be. I can connect his story to Judaism, whatever it is.

HMPM: What is the significance of the Kaddish in the mourning process, and how do you guide families in reciting it?

Rabbi Schuldenfrei: It can be as simple as me standing with a family by the grave and reciting it slowly with them, using a transliteration. Sometimes, people begin to attend minyan during their mourning period and say it regularly. Often, regular minyan -goers are themselves mourners and they’re incredibly welcoming.

Kaddish is a testimony on behalf of the departed soul. It doesn’t even mention death – it’s an affirmation of life and divine greatness. Saying Kaddish means showing up and saying: this person’s life mattered.

HMPM: Can you describe your process for meeting with the family before the funeral? What information do you gather to personalize the service?

Rabbi Schuldenfrei: I ask open-ended questions and spend time listening. I want to hear about the person’s character, their relationships, and how they were loved. I gather anecdotes, learn about their values, personality, quirks, and legacy. It’s about understanding how they made people feel – and how they should be remembered.

HMPM: What are some of the most common questions or concerns families have about Jewish burial rituals, and how do you address them?

Rabbi Schuldenfrei: The most common question is, “How am I going to get through this?” And the answer is, “You don’t have to do it alone.”

Grief is overwhelming. Most people never imagined they’d be in this situation, and they don’t know how to navigate it. My job is to be present and take as much off their plate as possible so they can simply be. They’ll cry, they’ll laugh, they’ll tune in and out – and that’s okay.

In cases of long illness, the family may be physically and emotionally spent. Sometimes it just feels like one more thing to get through.

I think Judaism really understands mourning. We double down on grief and community. We don’t expect you to be okay – and we don’t leave you alone. We surround and support you.

Many people who experience Jewish mourning practices for the first time walk away with a deep appreciation for them. Even clergy from other traditions have said, “The way you do mourning is incredible.” And they’re right – it really is.

HMPM: Jewish funerals emphasize simplicity and tradition. How do you help families balance tradition with personal preferences?

Rabbi Schuldenfrei: I always remind myself: it’s not about me.

I do have my boundaries and preferences. If I don’t feel I can officiate a funeral, I’ll help the family find a Rabbi who can support them.

Sometimes, I’m okay officiating even if the ceremony includes aspects I wouldn’t personally choose. I remind myself to honor their grief and their connection with the deceased. My job is not to impose my preferences but to support them in honoring a life.

But more importantly, just act like a human being. If a widow has just lost her husband, open the door for her. Get her a bottle of water. Help walk her dog. My job is to be there on one of the worst days of someone’s life.

They’d rather have their loved one back than this ceremony. So I always remind myself to ask “How can I help?”

Be kind. Be present. You won’t remove the darkness, but you can help make it a little more bearable.

What’s remarkable is that in these moments of grief, you often see the best of people and the best of community. When people have invested in their communities, those communities rise up to care for them. It’s incredibly affirming.

HMPM: What do you find most meaningful about your role in guiding families through the funeral and mourning process?

Rabbi Schuldenfrei: It’s emotional for us too. To have empathy, you have to feel it. If you knew the person, you’re going to miss them. And if you didn’t know them, you might wish you had.

Most Rabbis enter this field because they want to be of service. We’re present. We feel. We connect. And having that emotional range is so important in doing this sacred work well.

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We are immensely grateful to Rabbi Schuldenfrei for taking time to explain the emotional and practical aspects of the Rabbi’s sacred role in Jewish funeral tradition. If you have recently lost a loved one and need a Rabbi for an upcoming funeral, Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary is ready to assist your family in finding someone who matches your family’s values and traditions.

Please don’t hesitate to reach out at 800-576-1994 for assistance from our compassionate staff.

Legal Considerations for Planning Funerals

Fri, 07 Mar 2025 00:50:51 GMT

Planning a funeral involves more than choosing a casket or a service. Numerous legal concerns come into play, many of which people aren’t aware of until they are faced with the situation. It’s completely normal not to know what these legal requirements are, but understanding them in advance can help ensure everything is handled smoothly. This guide will walk you through some of the most important legal considerations accompanying funeral planning.

Is There a Will? Are There Preplanned Funeral Arrangements?

A will often includes funding and plans for funeral services. If such a will exists, it’s important to determine how detailed it is regarding funeral expenses. Some individuals make prepaid arrangements covering caskets, burial fees, or cremation costs. Funeral homes will honor prearranged plans, though families may need to verify records, especially if arrangements were made in advance of need.

Navigating the legal landscape of funeral planning takes time, and trying to handle everything under tight constraints can lead to rushed decisions. Planning ahead is the best way to avoid overspending, underspending, or making uninformed choices. Deciding ahead of time reduces financial strain and ensures the deceased’s wishes are honored. When preplanning isn’t possible, funeral homes will assist families in making legally sound arrangements in a short timeframe.

Who Can Make Funeral Arrangements?

Even when a person leaves a will specifying their funeral wishes, funeral homes must follow instructions from specific parties with the legal authority to make funeral and burial decisions. Those parties are specified by law and have authority in the following order:

A person may make his or her own pre-arrangements with the funeral home and cemetery of their choice.
Agent in a power of attorney for health care
Next of Kin: The closest legal relative, specified by law. Spouse, children, parents, siblings, etc.
Conservator: A court-appointed individual can make pre-arrangements for the conservatee, but only has authority after the death if there are no blood relatives and no agent in a health care power of attorney.

Choosing a clear decision-maker isn’t just necessary for the funeral home. This authorized arbiter helps families avoid disagreements over sensitive decisions during an already emotionally taxing time.

How Will Funeral Expenses Be Covered?

Prepaying funeral expenses is often the best way to pay for a funeral, as it allows payments to be spread out over time without interest. Some funeral homes partner with nonprofit organizations to provide financial assistance to families in need. Special hardship rates may also be available in cases involving the loss of a child. Exploring financial assistance options early can help ease the burden that comes with deciding how to pay for these arrangements.

Life insurance policies may also cover funeral expenses, either through direct payments or assignments on funds. In an assignment on funds, the beneficiary directs a life insurance company to pay part of the policy directly to the funeral home.

It is important to note that some mortuaries, including Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, do not accept assignment of funds, and funeral services sometimes take place before insurance payouts can be processed, which can complicate matters. Understanding how and when these funds are available is crucial.

Which Legal Documents Are Needed?

Several key documents may be required for funeral planning and handling affairs after death:

Durable Power of Attorney/Advance Health Directive: Grants authority to make funeral and burial decisions.
Trust Documents: apply when cemetery property has been placed in a trust.
Will: May contain specific funeral directives.
Military DD214 Form: Necessary for scheduling a burial in a national cemetery, obtaining a burial flag, and arranging additional military honors like a 21-gun salute.

Which of these documents you need depends on your specific legal and personal circumstances. If you are not sure which documents you need to honor the wishes of your loved one, your Family Service Advisor may be able to assist you in identifying which you need.

Notifying Relevant Organizations

One of the most important steps after a death is notifying relevant organizations to secure documents like death certificates, military discharge papers, and other relevant documents. It’s crucial to obtain enough copies to send to agencies such as:

The Social Security Administration (to halt benefits and apply for survivor benefits if applicable)
Veterans Affairs (for burial flags and military honors)
Life Insurance Providers (to process claims)
Employers (should they require notification of the passing)

Funeral directors can help assist in obtaining these documents efficiently, although it is up to survivors to distribute them.

Are There Laws About the Disposal of Bodies?

Laws regarding body disposition vary by state. In addition to respecting the deceased’s wishes as outlined in their will, legal regulations must be followed for cremation, burial, or other methods of body disposal. Some states require written authorization for cremation or detailed coordination for burials. Mortuaries and funeral homes must adhere to state-specific guidelines to ensure compliance.

What Are the Legal Responsibilities of the Funeral Home?

Funeral homes have legal obligations to provide transparency and fairness in their services. These include:

Itemized Price Lists for services and products, ensuring families understand costs upfront.
Cemetery Pricing to outline burial expenses.
Statements of Purchased Items so families know exactly what they are paying for in advance or at the time of need.

Federal and state laws require funeral homes to be upfront about costs, and families should always request a written statement before making any financial commitments.

Looking Ahead

Planning a funeral involves many legal considerations, and being prepared can make a difficult time more manageable and prevent unnecessary stress during a sensitive time. While funeral homes assist with these processes, having a clear legal plan in place is the best way to ensure a smooth and respectful farewell for your loved one.

Whether you are in the beginning, middle, or end of your journey planning the funeral, it is best to call one of our advance planning advisors for education and information for the duration of the process. Don’t hesitate to reach out on our site or at 800.576.1994.

Is There a Will? Are There Preplanned Funeral Arrangements?

Who Can Make Funeral Arrangements?

A person may make his or her own pre-arrangements with the funeral home and cemetery of their choice.
Agent in a power of attorney for health care
Next of Kin: The closest legal relative, specified by law. Spouse, children, parents, siblings, etc.
Conservator: A court-appointed individual can make pre-arrangements for the conservatee, but only has authority after the death if there are no blood relatives and no agent in a health care power of attorney
Understanding who has authority will help you plan accordingly and avoid disagreements over sensitive decisions.

How Will Funeral Expenses Be Covered?

Life insurance policies may also cover funeral expenses, either through direct payments or assignments on funds. In an assignment on funds, the executor directs a life insurance company to pay part of the policy directly to the funeral home.

Which Legal Documents Are Needed?

Several key documents may be required for funeral planning and handling affairs after death:

Durable Power of Attorney/Advance Health Directive: Grants authority to make funeral and burial decisions.
Trust Documents: Apply when cemetery property has been placed in a trust.
Will: May contain specific funeral directives.
Military DD214 Form: Necessary for scheduling a burial in a national cemetery, obtaining a burial flag, and arranging additional military honors like a 21-gun salute.

Notifying Relevant Organizations

The Social Security Administration (to halt benefits and apply for survivor benefits if applicable)
Veterans Affairs (for burial flags and military honors)
Life Insurance Providers (to process claims)
Employers (should they require notification of the passing)

Funeral directors can help assist in obtaining these documents efficiently, although it is up to survivors to distribute them.

Are There Laws About the Disposal of Bodies?

What Are the Legal Responsibilities of the Funeral Home?

Funeral homes have legal obligations to provide transparency and fairness in their services. These include:

Itemized Price Lists for services and products, ensuring families understand costs upfront.
Cemetery Pricing to outline burial expenses.
Statements of Purchased Items so families know exactly what they are paying for in advance or at the time of need.

Federal and state laws require funeral homes to be upfront about costs, and families should always request a written statement before making any financial commitments.

Looking Ahead

Looking Ahead: The Benefits of Preplanning Your Funeral

Fri, 07 Mar 2025 00:39:36 GMT

Preplanning your funeral is one of the most compassionate decisions you can make for yourself and your loved ones. While it may feel uncomfortable to consider, making arrangements in advance alleviates stress, reduces financial burdens, and ensures that your final wishes are honored. As you begin the process, we hope this guide helps you understand the benefits of preparing early for yourself and your family.

Benefits of Preplanning Your Funeral for Family and Survivors

While thinking about our own passing is difficult, it is important to remember that the loss of a loved one is an emotionally overwhelming experience. Planning a funeral in the midst of grief can add unnecessary stress.

By planning in advance, your family doesn’t have to guess what you would have wanted. This prevents disagreements over burial or cremation choices, memorial services, and other significant decisions that go into creating your legacy.

Making funeral prearrangements also prevents financial missteps. Without clear guidance, families may overspend or underspend, either feeling obligated to purchase extravagant options or struggling to make economical decisions that still honor their loved one.

Perhaps most importantly, making arrangements in advance allows your family to focus on grieving. The burden of guessing your preferences and coordinating logistics can detract from the essential emotional process of mourning. Preplanning removes these uncertainties and allows your loved ones to focus on healing.

Financial Benefits of Preplanning Your Funeral

Funeral costs can be significant, and preplanning provides financial relief in multiple ways.

First, planning and paying in advance mitigates the financial strain on your loved ones. When major expenses are taken care of in advance, family members are only responsible for incidental costs, making the financial impact far more manageable. In addition, many funeral homes offer payment plans that allow you to spread the cost over time, preventing a sudden, overwhelming expense at the time of need.

This is especially true because cemetery property, burial services, and cremation fees tend to increase over time as more spaces are taken. Prepaying ensures you are not subjected to rising costs due to inflation or limited availability.

How Preplanning Helps Honor Your Final Wishes

Planning your funeral in advance ensures that your final wishes are carried out exactly as you intended. The peace of mind that comes with knowing your arrangements are in place cannot be overstated.

Securing burial sites and memorial spaces is one primary concern. Many people find comfort in knowing where they will be laid to rest and how their farewell will be conducted. Since highly sought-after spaces may become limited, preplanning ensures your preferred location is secured, preventing any last-minute complications.

Many people who begin the preplanning process are pleasantly surprised by how therapeutic it can be to share your final wishes. It is also crucial to communicate your choices with your loved ones as executors of your will. Family members may have feelings or concerns about your preferences, and discussing them openly allows for adjustments or additional personal touches that make the arrangements even more meaningful.

Many families find solace in enhancing or personalizing prearranged services to create a more meaningful tribute to their loved ones. Engaging in open discussions about funeral planning ensures that your wishes are not only honored but also cherished by those who hold you dear.

Preplanning Your Funeral is an Act of Love

Preplanning your funeral provides clarity, financial security, and emotional relief for both you and your family. By addressing these decisions in advance, you eliminate stress, prevent family disputes, and ensure that your final wishes are honored with dignity and care. While it may not be an easy topic to consider, taking control of these arrangements now is one of the most meaningful ways to support those you leave behind.

Take the first step today. Our Advance Planning Advisors are ready to help you begin the preplanning process. To schedule an appointment, reach out through our site or call us at 800.576.1994.

Estate Planning: Ensuring Your Wishes Are Respected

Tue, 04 Mar 2025 23:24:47 GMT

Beyond creating financial security, Estate Planning can help ensure your wishes are honored and your loved ones are cared for, even after you’re gone. One of the most overlooked aspects of estate planning is how it impacts funeral preparations. A well-structured estate plan can provide clarity, prevent unnecessary legal struggles, and give your family peace of mind during an already difficult time.

First Priority: Avoiding Probate

Probate is a legal process designed to handle the affairs of a person’s estate after their passing. In California, the probate procedure can be time-consuming and costly, and delay distribution to loved ones, making it difficult to access funds which could be used for funeral preparations and other incidental costs.

Even if your estate goes through the probate process, a will with a named executor ensures your affairs are handled according to your wishes.

Distributing Assets: Who Inherits What?

A crucial part of estate planning is ensuring your assets are fully accounted for and distributed according to your wishes. Consider the following:

What assets do you own? Savings, checking accounts, real estate, businesses?
Who do you want to inherit your assets? Have you set them aside for a funeral?
Who will manage your estate and be responsible for distributing it in accordance with your wishes?

By having a clear, up-to-date will or trust, you ensure that your assets pass to the right people without unnecessary legal complications. A trust is particularly useful for maintaining privacy and expediting the distribution process.

Caring for Loved Ones: Ensuring Their Well-being

For those with children, estate planning takes on an even greater significance. Naming a guardian for your minor children ensures they are cared for by someone you trust. Additionally, you can outline when and how your children should receive their inheritance, preventing financial mismanagement and ensuring long-term security.

Beyond financial concerns, estate planning minimizes conflicts between heirs. The absence of a clear plan can lead to disputes, causing unnecessary emotional and financial strain on family members. By making your wishes legally binding, you create a roadmap that prevents misunderstandings and disagreements.

Final Wishes: Defining Your Legacy

A healthcare directive is a critical component of estate planning. It provides guidance on your crucial healthcare preferences in the event you become incapacitated and may include how you want your remains to be handled (autopsy preferences, burial, cremation, donation, etc.). You also can appoint an agent of your choice, whether related or not, to carry out your wishes. In California, your health care agent also has the authority to direct the disposition of your remains, or to follow through with any funeral prearrangements you may have already made.

Having these details documented takes the burden off your family, allowing them to focus on grieving rather than making difficult decisions. It also ensures that your final wishes are respected by preventing potential disagreements among loved ones.

Estate Planning: A Gift to Your Family

While we cannot offer legal advice, we hope this article helps you begin the crucial conversations now—whether with an estate planning attorney or with your family. Doing so is an important step towards providing clarity and peace of mind for all parties. With a well-thought-out plan in place, you can leave a legacy of organization, care, and consideration, allowing your loved ones to focus on what truly matters: honoring your memory and celebrating your life.

Whether you’ve already planned your estate or are just beginning, our advance planning advisors are available for education and information for every step of your journey. Don’t hesitate to reach out on our site or at 800.576.1994.

How an Ethical Will Can Honor Your Legacy

Thu, 23 Jan 2025 03:40:47 GMT

How an Ethical Will Can Honor Your Legacy

At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, we understand that creating a meaningful legacy is about more than material possessions. It’s about passing down the wisdom, values, and traditions that define who you are. We believe an ethical will is one of the most personal and heartfelt ways to ensure your voice and vision continue inspiring those you love. With compassion and care, we guide families in exploring this time-honored practice, helping them craft a message that honors their life’s journey and provides a sense of continuity, comfort, and connection for future generations.

What is an Ethical Will?

Many people think of drafting a traditional legal will to distribute their assets when planning for the future. However, an ethical will is something entirely different. Instead of detailing material possessions, an ethical will focuses on the values, life lessons, and wisdom you wish to share with your loved ones. It captures what has truly shaped your life—your core beliefs, cherished traditions, and personal reflections. While it carries no legal authority, an ethical will is a powerful document of meaning and connection, offering insights into the heart of your life’s journey.

The Emotional and Spiritual Importance of an Ethical Will

The emotional and spiritual importance of an ethical will cannot be overstated. At its core, it’s a profoundly personal way to ensure that your voice and values endure for generations. An ethical will provides loved ones with guidance, inspiration, and comfort during challenging times. You create a bridge between the past and the future by sharing your hard-earned wisdom and heartfelt reflections. This act of documenting your innermost thoughts and beliefs can strengthen family bonds, clarify your life’s purpose, and leave a lasting spiritual legacy.

The Sacred Importance of an Ethical Will

An ethical will goes beyond bequeathing property or possessions; it is an enduring testament to what truly matters most to you. This personal document gives future generations a sense of who you were, what you stood for, and the values that defined your life. It’s an opportunity to reflect on the lessons you’ve learned, the challenges you’ve overcome, and the relationships that have shaped you. By preserving these insights, you ensure that your memory continues to inspire, teach, and guide those you leave behind.

What Is Included in an Ethical Will?

Creating an ethical will is not reserved for any specific age or life stage—it’s a meaningful process you can begin at any time. You might start with a simple prompt, such as reflecting on the lessons you’ve learned from a beloved family member or the values that have guided your choices. Over time, you can expand upon these reflections, incorporating personal stories, meaningful traditions, or creative expressions like art, music, or video. This flexibility allows you to create a lasting testament that feels uniquely authentic and deeply personal.

How an Ethical Will Continues Your Legacy

Ultimately, an ethical will is an act of love and generosity. It provides a way for you to share your heart and mind with those you hold dear, ensuring that your legacy is remembered and felt. This profound connection sets an ethical will apart from a legal document—a personal gift that resonates long after you are gone.

We hope you’ll consider crafting your own ethical will, taking the time to reflect on the values and insights you wish to leave for future generations. It’s a meaningful way to ensure your voice inspires and guides those you love. Doing so creates a legacy that endures far beyond material possessions, bringing comfort and connection to your family for years to come.

At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, our compassionate staff and funeral directors are ready to help you craft this important document. Please don’t hesitate to contact us on our site or by phone at 800.576.1994 to request an appointment.

Hillside Traditions: Notes to the Wall

Thu, 19 Dec 2024 03:54:30 GMT

Hillside Traditions: Notes to the Wall

Your Most Sacred Thoughts Delivered to the Most Sacred Spot on Earth

Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary is honored to offer a unique service that bridges the gap between your heart and the holiest site in Judaism. With our “Notes to the Wall” service, your most sacred hopes, dreams, and prayers can find their way to the Western Wall in Jerusalem, lovingly placed there on your behalf.

The Western Wall: The Ear of God

The Western Wall, or the Kotel, is a cornerstone of Jewish faith and tradition. Located in the heart of Jerusalem, it is the last remaining structure of the Second Temple, a sacred space where countless generations have poured out their hearts. Known as the “Ear of God,” the Wall is where prayers resonate deeply, carrying the weight of centuries of devotion.

It is said that every note left in the crevices of the Wall becomes part of an eternal dialogue with the Divine. By sending your prayer to the Western Wall, you’re participating in this profound tradition, connecting with the sacred in a uniquely personal way.

Gratitude and Intentions for the New Year

Prayer is not just about seeking help—it is also a way to give thanks and set intentions for the future. As the new year unfolds, this is the perfect time to pause and reflect on your blessings. Writing a prayer allows you to articulate gratitude for the joys in your life and commit to the goals and values that matter most. Whether it’s a new job, good health, or cherished relationships, expressing your thanks can help foster a mindset of abundance and hope.

Send Your Wishes to the Wall

At Hillside, we take this responsibility to heart. Submit your thoughts, prayers, and wishes to us, and we will ensure they are printed, folded, and placed in the Western Wall by our trusted partners in Jerusalem. Whether your prayer is for gratitude, guidance, or blessings for loved ones, your words will find a home at the holiest site in Judaism.

Send your note today and participate in a timeless tradition connecting you to faith, community, and the sacred. Let Hillside deliver your most cherished hopes to the Ear of God.

Learn more about Notes to the Wall on our site or call (310) 641-0707 today.

Ways to Spend Time with Family During the Winter Holidays

Thu, 19 Dec 2024 03:50:43 GMT

Ways to Spend Time with Family During the Winter Holidays

The Winter Holidays invite us to slow down, gather with loved ones, and embrace the beauty of shared traditions. It is an ideal opportunity to honor the richness of our heritage while weaving new experiences into the fabric of family life. We hope this list of suggestions inspires you to connect, reflect, and embrace the joy of the season with an open heart.

Give Back to the Community

This season of giving is an ideal time to focus on acts of kindness that embody Tikkun Olam, or repairing the world. Volunteering at a local shelter or food bank is a meaningful way to share blessings with those in need. Families can also organize their own mitzvah projects, such as assembling care packages or writing heartfelt cards for seniors and community members, bringing light to others’ lives during the holidays. If you’re unsure how to help, this list of options is a great place to start:

Temple Israel of Hollywood Christmas Dinner Service
This annual dinner feeds over 1,000 unhoused neighbors and provides them with toys, books, and hygiene kits. Hosted in conjunction with Hollywood United Methodist Church, this is a great way to take part in interfaith outreach that makes a real difference.
Fundraising For Those in Need
While organizations in Los Angeles can help you find volunteer opportunities, you can also support humanitarian organizations around the globe. The JDC matches donations or help you host fundraisers for a wide variety of global causes.
Jewish Family Service LA
Jewish Family Service LA has a wide variety of volunteer opportunities. From toy drives to providing company for the elderly, view the list opportunities and call today.

Embrace the Holidays (with a Twist!)

Create New Traditions: Interfaith families can celebrate the season by blending traditions to create celebrations that borrow from different holidays.

Practice Interfaith Outreach:
Practice interfaith outreach by by inviting others to join your own traditions, or join a friend of another faith to learn how they celebrate. This is a great way to deepen your connection to your community and give your family new experiences.

Enjoy the Arts and Entertainment

The holiday break is a perfect time to experience the richness of the arts. Many museums remain open, offering a chance to explore fascinating exhibits or engage in special holiday programming.

Visit Museums: While LA Art Museums host special exhibits year-round, the winter holidays are the perfect time to to go see them. We highly recommend visiting the Skirball Cultural Center’s exhibit: Diane von Furstenberg Woman Before Art. Famed for her signature Wrap Dress, the exhibit explores how von Furstenberg became a household name beyond the fashion world, paving the way for women to become business leaders, philanthropists, and symbols of female liberation.
You can read more about the experience in this month’s blog post about the exhibit. [ link]
Stick with the Classics: Chinese food and a movie on Christmas remains a classic tradition around the holidays. Our pick: catch A Complete Unknown for a biopic about the life and times of a Jewish American icon – Bob Dylan.
Pershing Square Ice Rink: Embrace the cold by skating under the blue skies in Pershing Square. This outdoor ice rink offers fun for all ages and taste of real winter in Southern California.
Embrace Your Creativity: Dive into family photo albums and create your own book family stories – picture included. Group projects are a great way to relive fond memories and collaborate draw each other closer.

Make the Most of This Season Together

The Winter Holiday break offers an invaluable chance to pause, reflect, and cherish time with loved ones. Whether celebrating cherished traditions, giving back to the community, or simply enjoying time together, these activities provide meaningful ways to connect with Jewish heritage and embrace the spirit of the season. This year, let family outings and shared experiences create moments that will be remembered long after the holidays have passed.

Holiday Outings – Diane von Furstenberg: Woman Before Fashion

Thu, 19 Dec 2024 03:46:51 GMT

The Winter Holidays are a perfect time to enjoy the arts with loved ones. Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary is proud to sponsor a special exhibition at the Skirball Cultural center: Diane von Furstenberg: Woman Before Fashion. Read our interview with The Skirball Cultural Center’s Vice President of Communications and Marketing, Jered Gold, for an introduction to the exhibit, then plan your visit on their site today to experience it for yourself. Plan Your Visit Today

Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary: How did the exhibit come about? How does it fit into Skirball’s mission?

Jered Gold: The museum department at the Skirball oversees exhibitions and learned about the exhibit when it first debuted at the Fashion and Lace Museum in Brussels. They reached out to the original curator and discussed bringing it to the Skirball. During their due diligence process, Diane visited the Skirball, understood its mission, and approved the collaboration.

The Skirball Cultural Center is founded on Jewish values but aims to be a place for everyone. Our exhibitions often explore Jewish identity while emphasizing themes like pluralism and civil rights.

Diane is the daughter of a Holocaust survivor. Highlighting her Jewish identity was personally significant and aligns with our mission. The Jewish story is fundamentally one of immigrants, and Diane von Fürstenberg’s story is no different. By showcasing her work, we connect with people who may not share a Jewish background but can relate to her immigrant experience. Diane is also a self-made woman, which resonates broadly with everyone.

HMPM: How is the exhibit organized? What kind of story will visitors discover?

JG: The exhibition is organized into four main sections. It begins with the wrap dress, which Diane didn’t invent but reinvented into a fashion icon. This section highlights the wrap dress’s significance in fashion history, particularly how it gave women new forms of freedom and self-expression.

The next section explores Diane’s broader contributions to fashion, focusing on her inspirations, especially her love of nature and patterns.

The exhibit also delves into her career and entrepreneurship, showcasing how she built her company from the ground up during an era when women entrepreneurs were rare, making her accomplishments extraordinary.

It concludes with her philanthropy, highlighting her commitment to empowering other women and supporting their work through initiatives like the DVF Awards.

HMPM: Why was the wrap dress so revolutionary?

JG: The wrap dress put Diane on the map in the early 1970s, a time when women were just beginning to gain recognition in the workplace. Women often emulated men’s fashion with pantsuits to fit into professional spaces. Diane’s wrap dress offered an alternative. The dress transitioned seamlessly from day to evening wear, helping women feel confident and stylish in both settings — empowering them to embrace their femininity and live a fuller, authentic life.

HMPM: Can you share, in a sentence, what DVF’s lasting impact is? On fashion? On feminism?

On philanthropy?

JG: When it comes to fashion, Diane paved the way for women to lead fashion houses, becoming one of the first prominent female entrepreneurs in the industry. Through the wrap dress and her designs, she empowered women to be both feminine and powerful, a legacy that continues to resonate today. Her foundation gives back in meaningful ways, from the DVF Awards to projects like funding the Statue of Liberty Museum and spearheading the High Line in New York City.

HMPM: Her mother Lily fought the Nazis as a partisan and was a Holocaust survivor. Can you talk about her influence on Diane’s life philosophy?

JG: Diane has visited the Skirball several times, hosting events and participating in panels. During these occasions, she often speaks about her mother, Lily, who was a Holocaust survivor. Diane has shared that her mother was advised to wait before having children after her liberation from the camps, but Diane was born just months later. Her mother referred to her as her “torch of freedom,” and this identity continues to shape Diane’s worldview. Her mother’s resilience fueled Diane’s ambition to create her business and become the person she is today.

HMPM: What was your impression of Diane when you met her?

JG: Diane is the very definition of iconic. She carries herself with an effortless grace, and there’s a quiet strength about her that’s truly remarkable. The way she engages with others is unlike anything I’ve ever seen—she is both relaxed and commanding and manages to wo

HMPM: Has she talked about her Jewish heritage and its impact on her life?

JG: Diane is proud of her Jewish heritage, but she doesn’t think of herself only as a Jewish designer. She didn’t want the exhibit to only define her that way. She wanted it tell the story of “Diane von Fürstenberg: Woman Before Fashion.” At the Skirball, our mission is to connect people through shared experiences. At the same time, the story of Jewish American life and the Jewish diaspora is one of immigration. So if visitors relate Diane’s story to the Jewish-American experience through her experience as an American immigrant, then we’ve succeeded in creating connection.

What role did the donors play in this exhibit?

JG: Donors make it possible to bring Diane’s story to life. Their generosity supports not only this exhibit but also the accompanying programs, documentaries, and public events we host for visitors.

Hillside has been a long-time sponsor of the Skirball. In addition to supporting the DVF exhibit, they’ve sponsored many others. We’ve worked with Hillside for many years and we look forward to working together on more exciting projects in the future.

Discover the remarkable story of Diane von Fürstenberg and her iconic contributions to fashion, feminism, and philanthropy—plan your visit today and experience the exhibit at the Skirball for yourself. Plan Your Visit Today

The Power of Yizkor Services

Wed, 04 Dec 2024 17:57:56 GMT

A small, painted, blue memorial stone with the Hebrew word “remember” in Jerusalem, Israel.

While anniversaries of a death are normally observed in private, the Yizkor service is a public observance for grieving families and their communities during the High Holidays. These vital ceremonies are one of the most important traditions that have always brought the bereaved together for mutual support and comfort in the Jewish community.

What is a Yizkor Service?

Yizkor services are deeply reflective and involve a series of readings and prayers, both recited and chanted, which call participants to remember the lives and legacies of those we have lost. To begin, individuals silently read specific paragraphs to honor and remember deceased loved ones, with sections dedicated to a father, mother, spouse, child, other relatives, friends, and Jewish martyrs. Afterward, the El Male Rahamim prayer, which is also recited at Jewish funerals, is chanted as a memorial for the deceased. Additionally, the Av HaRahamim prayer is spoken by the congregation in remembrance of all Jewish martyrs, and some include Psalm 23. Although traditionally the Mourner’s Kaddish is not part of Yizkor, many congregations incorporate it as the concluding prayer of the service.

When are Yizkor Services Held?

During the High Holidays, Yizkor services are held on three dates: Yom Kippur, Shemini Atzeret immediately following Sukkot, and on Simchat. Traditionally a time of reflection on the past year, the High Holidays are a fitting time to remember those who are no longer with us, and to surround ourselves with emotional support before the new year.

Who Can Participate in a Yizkor Service?

In some Jewish communities, those who have not experienced a loss in the past year choose to sit out the duration of the Yizkor service. While ceremonies are for the bereaved, many Rabbis ask the whole congregation to stay for the duration of the service to uplift those who are suffering. Ultimately, the decision to sit out or participate is yours. However, standing next to a mourner during the Mourner’s Kaddish, especially if they are alone, can be a powerful show of compassion.

How to Add Names to the Yizkor book?

To ensure that your loved ones are honored during Yizkor, many Temples ask members to provide a list of those to be remembered in the coming year when they join or renew their affiliation. If someone passes away during the year, their name is usually added automatically. It’s a good idea to confirm with the synagogue office to ensure important names are not missing from the list.

While Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary has hosted Yizkor services on select occasions, like our recent Kever Avot Service which can viewed here , most local temples offer Yizkor services during the High Holidays. If you are struggling with the loss of a loved one, the quiet moments of remembrance and reflection during this vital tradition can provide a meaningful connection during this difficult time.

Navigating Grief During the Holidays: You’re Not Alone

Thu, 21 Nov 2024 16:35:30 GMT

The holiday season is often seen as a time of celebration, joy and connection. However, for those who have experienced the loss of a loved one it can also be a time of deep heartache and painful reminders of those who are no longer there. The traditions unique to your family that once brought comfort may now feel overwhelming and difficult to face.

If you’re struggling with grief this holiday season, please know that you are not alone. Grief is often a complex and uncertain journey, and the holidays can magnify uncomfortable or distressing emotions in ways that might make it difficult to explain to friends or family.

Everyone grieves differently and your grief is unique to you. There is no wrong way to grieve, and there is no timeline. Grief is not something to “fix” and it cannot be “cured.” The good news is that there are ways to care for yourself, find support and create space for healing, even in the throes of the holiday activities. While grief can feel incredibly isolating, please know that you don’t have to walk this path alone.

How Grief Can Affect You During the Holidays

Emotional Fatigue: Feelings such as sadness, anxiety, and anger may unexpectedly surface. You might find yourself struggling with mixed emotions, and torn between participating in festive activities and needing time alone to be quiet and reflect.

Physical Fatigue: Grieving is a physical experience as well. It can be exhausting trying to manage your emotions, attending holiday events, or even walking into a room with your chin up can be incredibly draining. Your body needs time to recover, and it’s okay to honor yourself and rest.

Guilt: For some people guilt can come up when you’re asked to attend an event that you don’t want to attend. You might feel like you’re letting friends or family down if you decide not to go, or are having trouble embracing the season. Please know that it is okay to be exactly where you are in your grief. If you say yes, and then change your mind, that’s okay too. This is how you feel for now, it is not how you will feel forever.

Ways to Cope with Grief During the Holidays

While there is no way to fix grief or erase the pain of loss, there are self-care and self-compassionate things you can do to help navigate your way through the more difficult times.

Acknowledge Your Feelings: Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up for you without judging yourself. If you need to cry, cry. If you need time alone, please take it. The grieving process isn’t linear. Some days will feel heavier while others will feel lighter. It is okay to say no to things that feel like too much on any given day.

Reach Out for Support: Grief can feel isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Whether it’s a grief support group, calling a friend, seeing a therapist or grief coach, reaching out for support can help you to feel seen, heard and understood. Talking about your grief helps to lighten the emotional load.

Give Yourself Permission to Take a Step Back: It’s so important to prioritize your emotional well-being and take a step back when needed. Trust yourself. If you need to opt out of an event (even if you’ve already accepted the invitation), it is perfectly okay to change your mind and take a pass. Please do so without guilt.

Again, trust yourself. Your emotional needs are your priority at this time.

Practice Self-Care: There are many forms of self-care. Whether you take a walk or a warm bath, read a good book, call a close friend, lose yourself in a good movie or tv show, meditate, listen to music, or do yoga, the important thing is to find what works for you. When we’re in grief or mourning, self-care is essential to our well-being.

Honor Your Love One’s Memory: When you feel like it’s the right time, try to find a way to honor your loved one. This can be by cooking a meal or dessert they loved and sharing it with others, share stories about them with others or even creating some kind of small ritual to honor them.

The Holidays can be hard, but you don’t have to navigate them alone.

By leaning on supportive practices and honoring your needs, you may find moments of peace, healing, and even relief. If you or or a loved one are going through grief, learn more about our monthly Grief Support Groups or contact us at (310) 641-0707 to speak to our compassionate staff about other resources.

Grief as Connection: A Jewish Perspective

Thu, 21 Nov 2024 16:32:34 GMT

Grief can feel isolating and overwhelming in times of loss. The Jewish tradition offers unique comfort through its perspective on death and mourning. These practices are designed not only to honor the deceased but also to support the living as they navigate the emotional and spiritual journey of grief. The Jewish perspective provides structure and solace, guiding individuals through one of life’s most difficult experiences with compassion and respect.

Grief as a Form of Connection

Judaism teaches that honoring, respecting, and caring for the deceased is one of the greatest mitzvot (commandments) a person can perform. This deeply held belief underscores the idea that every individual deserves dignity in both life and death. Caring for the dead —through rituals such as preparing the body for burial, participating in the funeral, and observing mourning customs—is seen as an act of great spiritual significance. By fulfilling this mitzvah, Jewish people demonstrate profound respect for the sanctity of life and the cycle of death. It is a way of showing gratitude for the deceased’s life while helping those who remain to cope with the loss. This sense of sacred duty is meant to comfort the mourners and the community by fostering a connection to the deceased even after their passing.

Grief is a Process in Jewish Tradition

One of the core elements of Jewish mourning customs is the emphasis on burying the deceased as quickly as possible after death. The urgency of the burial also serves a practical purpose for the survivors: it allows the mourning process to begin, offering them a clear path to grieve and heal. By attending to the deceased’s needs without delay, mourners are afforded the time and space to mourn without the added burden of prolonged waiting.

The Jewish mourning process is filled with rituals designed to help mourners express their grief, find support in the community, and eventually come to terms with their loss. From the speed of burial to the comforting presence of family and friends during shiva, these practices offer a sense of structure and peace during a time that can otherwise feel chaotic and unmanageable.

The existence of these traditions reveals an important idea: while no one grieves the same way, nobody should grieve alone. Instead, it’s a process best navigated with your family and community – through events that bring people in to support us and traditions that allow us to look back at how others have sought solace. Rather than trying to “move past” the death of a loved one or “return to normal,” it accepts that these painful emotions are a part of life and provides a structured way to experience them.

We’re Here to Help You Honor Your Traditions

At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, we honor these traditions and everyone’s personal approach to grief. We provide a supportive environment where families can grieve, heal, and find comfort according to their faith and customs. Whether you are seeking guidance on Jewish funeral arrangements and mortuary services or Grief Support Groups for help through the mourning process, we are here to provide compassionate care for you and your family at (310) 641-0707 and https://www.hillsidememorial.org/contact-us/ .

How to Support Grieving Loved Ones

Thu, 21 Nov 2024 16:29:44 GMT

When someone close to us loses a loved one, it can feel overwhelming, both for them and for us. We often feel powerless to help, unsure of what to say or do in the face of such deep sadness. However, while grief can’t be “fixed,” there are practical steps we can take to be a compassionate and steady support system for those in mourning. Offering kindness, patience, and understanding in the days, weeks, and even months following a loss can make a difference.

How to Support Loved Ones After a Loss

In the immediate aftermath of a loved one’s passing, small but meaningful gestures can provide essential comfort. If you have a close relationship with the grieving person, consider visiting them in person, even if it’s just to sit quietly together. Sometimes, your presence alone is enough. Offering practical help, like preparing meals or leaving them for the family, are other thoughtful ways to lighten their load. When you offer condolences, simple ones are best: “I’m so sorry for your loss” or “I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you” are sensitive and respectful. Avoid clichés such as “They’re in a better place” or “Everything happens for a reason,” as these statements may unintentionally minimize their grief. Instead, validate their feelings by acknowledging their pain. Grief is complex, and people need time to process their emotions, so be patient, offer support without rushing them through their mourning.

As time passes, it’s important to continue checking in on your loved one. Grief doesn’t follow a predictable timeline, and the weeks or even months after the funeral can be especially difficult. Reaching out regularly shows that you’re still there, even after the initial outpouring of sympathy has faded. A simple text, a phone call, or an invitation to meet for coffee or a walk can help them feel less isolated. Sometimes, just offering to be a companion for everyday activities like going for a walk, running errands, or grabbing lunch can provide a comforting distraction and remind them they are not alone in their sorrow. Tell them you can listen, but don’t pressure them to talk if they’re not ready. It’s also helpful to acknowledge milestones, like the death anniversary or the deceased’s birthday, as these dates can bring up fresh waves of grief.

How to Continue Supporting a Grieving Loved One

Even months after the loss, your continued support remains vital. Many people feel abandoned in the long-term stages of grief as others move on with their lives. The healing journey is often a long and winding road, and your ongoing presence can offer much-needed reassurance. Check-in with your friend or family member regularly, and let them know you’re there, whether they want to share memories, sit in silence, or simply be around someone who understands. If you can, offer help with tasks that may feel overwhelming, such as helping them organize their home or helping them with financial paperwork related to their loss.

Find Grief Support Resources at Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary

At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, we understand the emotional weight of loss, so we are committed to offering both services for those experiencing grief and educational resources to the Los Angeles community. We are here not only to help with funeral and memorial services but also to provide guidance on navigating the complexities of grief. Our compassionate team offers support through every step of the mourning process, ensuring that no one has to grieve alone.

If you or someone you know is struggling with grief, our team at Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary is here to help. Contact us today for compassionate support and resources at (310) 641-0707 or https://www.hillsidememorial.org/contact-us/ .

Honoring Loved Ones During the High Holidays

Wed, 23 Oct 2024 16:45:41 GMT

As a time of celebration with family, the loss of someone dear can feel especially painful during the High Holidays. However, this time of year also presents an opportunity to honor and reflect on those we miss. Read on to discover ways to remember our loved ones and feel close to them during the High Holidays.

Visit Their Resting Place

One of the best ways to feel connected to our loved ones is to spend time with them in person. Many families visit the cemetery either the day before Rosh Hashashanah or Yom Kippur. Small acts like bringing flowers, taking a moment of silence, or talking to them can help make us feel close to those who have passed on. Taking time to connect with our memories of our loved ones also brings us into the traditions of memory and reflection at the center of the High Holidays.

Share Memories

Connecting with family through shared memories is one of the best ways to honor your loved ones’ legacy. Telling stories and getting out photo albums are some of the best ways to recall happy times together and draw your family close. This kind of communal storytelling honors lives well-lived and preserves their memory for future generations.

Continue Their Favorite Traditions

In addition to telling stories, continuing to celebrate family holiday traditions can help preserve your loved ones’ legacies. Cooking their favorite recipes, setting the table with their favorite dishes, singing their favorite songs, or continuing donations to causes they love are all great ways to honor their memories.

Reach Out for New Ideas

If you’re looking for ways to memorialize your loved one, we would be happy to help at Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary. Our floral store can help you deliver fresh flowers to your loved ones’ final resting place, with a photo to confirm delivery. If you would like to carry out a personalized family ceremony, we would be happy to help facilitate it at the park or an offsite location to honor the life and memory of your family.

Yahrzeit Candles: Traditions and Meanings

Wed, 23 Oct 2024 16:44:28 GMT

Charity. Lighting of Praying candles in a temple.

Yahrzeit candles are one of the most profound symbols in Judaism, and a source of comfort during grief. Yahrzeit literally means “anniversary of death.” Lighting a Yahrzeit candle at sunset is a reminder of the light loved ones brought into our lives, and the love we continue to show them by honoring their memory. While these candles can be lit every week for Shiva during the mourning period, they are traditionally lit on the eve of the anniversary of a loved one’s passing and as a part of Yizkor services on important holidays.

Why Light Yahrzeit Candles at Sunset?

In Jewish tradition, the Yahrzeit candle is typically lit at sunset, marking the beginning of the Yahrzeit, which follows the Hebrew calendar. Since Jewish days begin at sundown, the candle should be lit the evening before the anniversary. This allows the candle to burn for the full 24 hours, symbolizing the enduring spirit of the deceased.

Yom Kippur

On the eve of Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, many families light a Yahrzeit candle at sunset. Yom Kippur is devoted to prayer, fasting, and reflection. Lighting the candle allows individuals to honor those who have passed during this holiest day on the Jewish calendar.

Shemini Atzeret

Shemini Atzeret, which follows the seven-day festival of Sukkot and closes out the year’s Torah readings with Simchat Torah, is another occasion to light a Yahrzeit candle. This day of assembly and prayer is a fitting time to remember the lives of those we’ve lost and to honor their legacy at the end of this festive season.

Passover

During Passover, a Yahrzeit candle is traditionally lit on the eve of the last day of the holiday. As Passover symbolizes renewal and liberation, lighting the candle serves as a tribute to family members who can no longer join in the celebration.

Shavuot

The second day of Shavuot, a holiday celebrating the giving of the Torah at Mount Sinai, is also a time to light a Yahrzeit candle. The candle is lit at sundown, allowing families to honor their loved ones while reaffirming their connection to Jewish teachings.

Digital Yahrzeit Memorials and Calendars

In keeping with the evolving ways to memorialize loved ones, Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary is pleased to offer families a range of digital Yahrzeit services. Families can receive email reminders before the anniversary of a loved one’s death, which includes a virtual plaque to commemorate the life of your loved one and a virtual yahrzeit candle, which can be displayed on your phone or any electronic device.

We also offer a complimentary 20-year calendar listing the dates of your loved one’s yahrzeit corresponding to the secular calendar. To request your Yahrzeit Calendar, please call our office at (800) 576-1994 or (310) 641-0707.

How to Talk to Children about Death

Mon, 23 Sep 2024 18:21:04 GMT

In Jewish tradition, we know that death is the final part of life – a migration from one home to another. Despite traditions that help us understand this, adults still have trouble explaining it to young minds. While it may be challenging, explaining death to your child is one of the most important things you can do as a parent. Here are a few ways to speak to your children on this topic to support your child’s healthy development towards maturity.

Check in With Yourself

Before you sit your child down, check in with yourself first. Do you feel ready to discuss death? Are you feeling emotional because of the recent death of a loved one? What are you comfortable sharing? What is developmentally appropriate to share? What questions do you think they’ll ask? While we can’t put off this conversation forever, it’s important to think through what you want to say and how you want to say it. Preparing this way ensures you model a mature understanding of death for your child. Most importantly, it’s okay to ask for help if you don’t feel ready to do this on your own.

Be Honest

While your explanation should be tailored to your child’s stage of development, it is important to be honest about what death is – even with toddlers. Ideally, this should be done before someone close passes away. Seeing examples of death in nature, like squashed bugs or a fallen tree or family goldfish can be benign opportunities to discuss the concept of death in general. When death occurs in your family, your child deserves to know and understand its finality.

Admit What You Don’t Know

We have many responsibilities as parents. Having all the answers isn’t one of them. It is okay to tell your child “I don’t know,” when they ask questions about what death is like, what happens afterward. Admitting that death remains a mystery even for adults can build trust and help them grow into maturity. But while we may not have all the answers, our beliefs can offer guidance, support and comfort.

Consider Your Spiritual Beliefs

Whether you believe in have a faith tradition or none at all, your beliefs can provide a helpful framework for discussing death. Taking time to reflect on your own beliefs with your co-parent, grandparents and other family members can help you decide what to share with your child in an age appropriate way. Understanding that death is a part of life and its context in a belief system provides a framework to help children develop their own understanding in time.

Listen Carefully

Children of all ages react differently discussing death. Younger children may have many many follow up questions. Older children may want to express large emotions or withdraw to process them on their own. No matter your child’s reaction, it is important to show them you’re listening to them. Take time to consider answers. Repeat back what they’ve said to you so you show you can be sure you understood them. Ask questions about what they’re thinking and feeling so they feel safe to explore it with you.

Leave the Conversation Open

Talking about death is an ongoing conversation. It is impossible to discuss everything in one interaction. As you give your child space to process death on their own, let them know you’re a safe person to discuss it with as they form their own opinions and beliefs. While we may not always know what to say, by just being there for our children we are already fulfilling one of our most fundamental duties as parents.

Guiding Your Child Through Grief

Mon, 23 Sep 2024 16:55:27 GMT

Losing a loved one is already one of the most difficult experiences any of us can go through, but it is particularly challenging for children. Especially if it is the first time they are facing the finality and pain of someone’s passing. While we cannot protect children from death, and the end of life’s cycle coming into our lives, we can help them understand the difficult emotions that come with it. Below, we’ve provided some suggestions for guiding your child through their grieving process.

Manage Your Own Emotions

If someone close to you has died, it is okay to shed tears in front of your child. Showing that death is sad is just as important as explaining that it is final. While it’s okay to show sadness, try to maintain a sense of calm to reassure your child. If you are overwhelmed by your feelings, it can make an already scary moment even more frightening for the child. By modeling healthy grief and showing your feelings are okay to express and manageable, you can help your child feel in control of their own.

Be Transparent

When you tell your child about the passing of a loved one, be direct and transparent about what has happened. Saying a loved one has “passed away” or is “sleeping” can be confusing to young children. Don’t be afraid to use the word “death” and to explain that your child will not be seeing this person anymore because they have died.

Older children may deserve to know more about the specific circumstances of a death. While explaining more can feel painful, it can be beneficial to share important details. Children have powerful imaginations and withholding important information can lead them to ruminate. Giving them the truth can protect them from imagining the worst and more importantly, builds their trust in you to help them navigate difficult experiences.

Get Them Help if Possible

While grieving with their parents and other family members is important to the process, this is not something that has to “stay in the family.” A therapist can help your child navigate grief by helping them talk through difficult emotions. If your child is going through grief for the first time, a professional can help ensure it is a healthy part of their long term development and provide you with help and resources as a grieving parent.

Seeking professional help doesn’t mean you’re failing as a parent. In fact, it shows you’re committed to doing what’s best for your child’s emotional health. Sometimes, a therapist can offer tools and perspectives that are difficult for families to provide during their own grief. Reaching out for help demonstrates strength and the understanding that grieving is a process that can benefit from additional support.

Give Them Space

Children of all ages navigate grief differently. Young children may speak about it more frequently in everyday conversation and incorporate death in games or drawings as they process it. Older children may internalize more of their feelings. They may want to consult with friends and be more selective about what they’re willing to share with you – at least at first. While processing grief with your guidance is crucial, so is processing it on their own. Give your older child the space to internalize it and let them come back to you when they’re ready.

Give Them Time

Just like adults, children need time to fully process grief. It is an open wound that may take a long while to close. However, children also experience emotions differently than adults. They may not feel grief as deeply as you and may move through it sooner. In other cases, grief can be even more traumatic for children than it is for adults, and it may take them longer to integrate it into their everyday thinking. Both are okay, and there is no “correct” timetable for their grieving process. The most important thing you can do is to remain present, patient, and open to their needs as they work through their feelings. In doing so, you not only help them heal but also foster resilience and emotional understanding that will benefit them throughout life.

Grief and Reading Resources for Children

Mon, 23 Sep 2024 16:54:11 GMT

One of the best ways to help your child process their grief is to share stories and books by experts. Whether you’re introducing the concept to them for the first time, or trying to help them navigate ongoing grief, this reading list is specially curated for children of all ages. While there are many books on this subject, here is a diverse selection for you to share with your family.

Anticipating Grief A Different Kind of Passover by Linda Leopold-Strauss

When Jessica’s Grandpa is too sick to join the family seder, she and her family find creative ways to include him, reminding us that with love and imagination, we can adapt holiday traditions to include those who are ill or nearing the end of their lives.

Cinnamon Roll Sunday by Jennifer Allen

Cinnamon Roll Sunday follows seven-year-old Noah as he navigates the challenges of his father’s serious illness, offering a tender and resilient exploration of anticipatory grief for children.

Ages 4-6 The Memory Tree by Britta Teckentrup

When Fox passes away, his forest friends gather to share cherished memories, and as they do, an orange tree grows in his honor, symbolizing how his kindness and love live on in their hearts—a gentle way to introduce themes of death, grief, and enduring love.

The Dead Bird by Margaret Wise Brown

Margaret Wise Brown’s 1938 story The Dead Bird follows four children who find and bury a dead bird, providing a poignant exploration of loss, grief, and the beauty of caring for others—even those we barely know.

Ages 6-8 The Invisible String by Geoff Stevenson

Written to address children’s fear of being apart from loved ones, The Invisible String delivers a compelling message in today’s uncertain times that though we may be separated from the ones we care for through anger, distance or even death, love is the connection that binds us all.

The Healing Book by Ellen Sabin

This interactive book helps children and families express their feelings and explore memories of a loved one who has passed away. It serves as a versatile activity book and journal, fostering communication and creating a lasting scrapbook of memories during the grieving process.

Ages 8-12 And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer and Longer by Fredrik Backman

This lyrical novella follows an old man grieving for his late wife and his deteriorating mind, as he teaches his grandson Noah how to say a perfect goodbye, reminding readers that those we mourn have also experienced grief and cherished memories.

The Empty Place: A Child’s Guide Through Grief by Roberta Temes

When a nine-year-old boy’s beloved big sister dies, he is confused, angry and fearful. For the first time he must face the finality of death and the pain of loss. His parents, also grieving, seem distant, until a counselor teaches them all how to cope and heal.

Ages 12-14 The Thing About Jellyfish by Ali Benjamin

After her former best friend Franny dies in a drowning accident, 12-year-old Suzy, unable to accept the explanation, becomes obsessed with the idea that a jellyfish sting caused Franny’s death, leading her on a journey of scientific inquiry through the complicated emotions of personal grief.

When Death Walks In by Mark Scrivani

When Death Walks in offers supportive information for facing grief during the teen years. In addition to providing important information about grief, it also helps adolescents learn what they can do about anger, sadness and all the emotions that come when death walks in.

Ages 15-17 Weird is Normal When Teenagers Grieve by Jenny Lee Wheeler

Written by an actively grieving teen, Jenny Lee Wheeler helps normalize that there is no ‘right way’ for teenagers to grieve and validates that it is perfectly normal to experience the many feelings and emotions associated with grief differently than adults.

Help for the Hard Times, Getting Through Loss by Earl Hipp

This illustrated guide that helps teens understand how they experience grief and loss, how our culture in general doesn’t often acknowledge their losses or give them tools to grieve, and how they can keep their loss from overflowing.

Reach Out if You Need More Resources

Children process grief differently at each stage of life. While this journey is never easy, we hope this list of thoughtfully curated books serves as a helpful resource for parents seeking to support their children through the grieving process. If you still need help or more resources, don’t hesitate to reach out for more information.

How to Preserve Your Loved One’s Digital Legacy

Fri, 23 Aug 2024 17:09:46 GMT

In today’s digital age, our online presence – from treasured photos and social media profiles to personal blogs and online accounts – forever captures our memories, experiences, and relationships. When a loved one passes away, preserving these digital memories can offer comfort and lasting connection, yet the process can feel overwhelming. This step-by-step guide will help you navigate the process, ensuring their digital presence continues to be a meaningful source of remembrance.

Make an Inventory of Your Digital Assets

The first step in creating a digital legacy is to take stock of all the digital assets that your loved one left behind. This includes everything from social media accounts, email addresses, and cloud storage to digital photos, videos, and any other online content they created or stored. It’s important to compile all these digital assets into a comprehensive list, along with the credentials (usernames, passwords) needed for access.

Taking the time to create this inventory allows you to ensure that nothing is overlooked. It may be a challenging task, especially as you come across memories that evoke deep emotions, but it is a crucial step in preserving their digital presence.

Organize Your Assets

Once you have compiled a list of digital assets, the next step is to organize them. This might involve grouping assets into categories—such as social media accounts, financial accounts, and personal files—or prioritizing them based on their significance.

Organizing these assets not only makes it easier to manage them but also allows you to decide which elements of their digital life you wish to preserve, share, or even close down. For example, you may choose to archive their personal blog as a lasting tribute or create a digital photo album featuring their life’s joyful moments.

Appoint an Executor for Your Digital Legacy

Just as you would appoint an executor for a will, it’s important to appoint someone you trust to carry out your wishes regarding the preservation and distribution of digital assets.

Selecting the right person is essential, as they will need to handle sensitive information and make decisions that honor the memory of your loved one. Ensure that this person understands the importance of the role and is comfortable with the responsibilities that come with it.

Lay Out Your Wishes and Instructions

After organizing your loved one’s digital assets, it’s time to lay out clear wishes and instructions for how you want each asset to be handled. This might include guidelines for which accounts should be memorialized, which content should be shared with family and friends, and which should remain private or be deleted.

These instructions will serve as a roadmap for the executor, ensuring that your loved one’s digital legacy is managed in a way that aligns with their values and your family’s wishes.

Securely Pass Along Credentials

Finally, it’s crucial to securely pass along the necessary credentials to the executor of the digital legacy. This can be done through a password manager or a secure document that contains all the login information for the digital assets.

By ensuring that these credentials are safely stored and accessible, you enable the executor to carry out their duties without unnecessary complications.

Honoring Your Loved One Online

Creating a digital legacy for a loved one is a deeply personal and meaningful way to honor their memory. By taking the time to inventory, organize, and plan for the management of digital assets, you ensure that your loved one’s legacy continues to resonate in the hearts of those they touched and for generations to come.

In this delicate process, remember that there is no right or wrong way to handle your loved one’s digital legacy—only the way that feels most authentic to their memory.

Bridging the Distance: Streaming Services for Funerals

Fri, 23 Aug 2024 17:08:36 GMT

While technology like social media allows us to memorialize our loved ones in new, meaningful ways, attending a funeral remains one of the most important ways to support the bereaved and honor the legacy of the deceased. Unfortunately, far away friends and family cannot always take part in these important ceremonies because of health issues, caregiving responsibilities, and other obligations that make travel difficult. Fortunately, live streaming can help everyone participate in these important events, regardless of their physical location.

Streaming Services at Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary

In Jewish tradition, funerals are often arranged soon after a loved one passes, which can make travel challenging for those who live far away. Live streaming helps bridge this gap, offering a way for everyone to be present, even when physical attendance isn’t possible. While general services like Zoom can help connect people, they often come with limitations such as subpar equipment, poor audio, unstable connections, and the potential for interruptions which can detract from the experience during these delicate moments.

At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, we understand the importance of providing a seamless and respectful experience. That’s why at Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary we offer live streaming services in both our Small and Large Sanctuaries as well as graveside. Using high-definition cameras and premium sound equipment onsite, we ensure every detail of your ceremony is captured in high definition video and audio. To protect the privacy of the service, our streams are password-protected, ensuring that only those you invite can attend.

Our professional and dedicated staff handles all the technical aspects of the live stream, allowing you to focus entirely on honoring your loved one and supporting each other as a community. This service not only connects those who are unable to travel but also ensures that the memory of your loved one is honored with the dignity and care they deserve.

Learn More about Our Streaming Services

Our streaming services are a thoughtful way to close the distance for mourners who wish to participate but cannot be physically present. If you’d like to learn more about how our live streaming options can help your loved ones attend funeral and memorial services at Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, please reach out to one of our Family Service Advisors for details. We are here to support you in every way we can during this difficult time.

Virtual Memorials: Online Support for Vital Connections

Fri, 23 Aug 2024 16:59:51 GMT

The passing of a loved one is one of the most difficult experiences anyone can go through. Traditional services at Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary offer a comforting space where friends and family can come together to support the bereaved during these painful times. In addition to in-person gatherings, virtual memorials provide a new, meaningful way to share memories, gather support, and stay connected with loved ones, no matter the distance.

Virtual Memorials

Online Obituaries: Online obituaries serve as the cornerstone of virtual memorials, providing a dedicated space to honor the memory of your loved one. These online tributes can be personalized to reflect the life and legacy of the deceased, offering a platform for family and friends to share memories, photos, and videos. Virtual guest books enable attendees to leave messages of condolence, and offer a comforting presence for visitors.

Online obituaries go beyond traditional obituaries by creating an interactive community gathering space. They can be tailored to be private, where only close family members contribute updates and memorial details, or they can be open, allowing a wider circle of friends and relatives to share their stories, express condolences, and offer support. These memorials can also host digitized physical photos and videos, ensuring that cherished moments are easily accessible and shared.

In addition, online obituaries can include links to donate funds to specific organizations that were most meaningful to the deceased, extending their legacy through ongoing acts of generosity. By bringing together loved ones, both near and far, virtual memorials create a meaningful, supportive environment that fosters healing and closure during the grieving process.

Streaming Services: For Jewish families, virtual memorials can be designed to respect and incorporate traditional practices while accommodating loved ones from around the globe. Shivas, which are typically held in the home of the bereaved, can now be conducted online, allowing family and friends to come together regardless of location. Virtual shiva services provide an opportunity for prayers, readings, and the recitation of the Kaddish to be shared in real-time, offering a sense of community and support. Additionally, online platforms allow for personalized elements such as digital photo slideshows, video tributes, and messages from participants, enhancing the experience and helping preserve memories. These innovations ensure that Jewish mourning rituals are honored while meeting the needs of a modern, connected world.

Other Ways to Embrace Technologies

Virtual memorials are just one of the many ways technology can help us honor loved ones and support the bereaved. Here are a few additional methods to stay connected and share memories:
Social Media – Social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram provide an additional venue to announce the passing of a loved one, host obituaries, and share memories through text, photos, and videos. Social media is also an excellent tool for reaching out to distant family and friends, organizing fundraisers, and sharing your virtual memorial site with a broader audience.
Group Chats – Group chats and text threads offer an intimate way for loved ones to stay in touch, share photos and videos, and recount stories about the deceased. These groups can be tailored to include only close family members for private grieving or expanded to a larger group if broader support is needed.

A Virtual Space for Vital Connections

At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, we understand that in times of loss, staying connected and honoring the memory of a loved one is essential to the healing process. Virtual memorials provide a unique and meaningful way to bring people together, regardless of physical distance, allowing for a shared space where memories can be cherished and support can be offered. As we embrace technology, we find new ways to celebrate the lives of those we’ve lost and navigate the difficult journey of grief with love and support.

For more information on how we can assist you in creating a lasting tribute, please contact us today.

What is Tradition?

Thu, 25 Jul 2024 17:21:23 GMT

Carrying on Jewish traditions for new generations is the core behind everything we do at Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary. But what is tradition? Why does it matter? Why do people still practice it today? Although it seems like an artifact of the past, tradition is actually a verb. It, changes, lives on, and binds new generations together. In fact, it’s because tradition changes that it is able to remain meaningful to Southern California’s Jewish and interfaith communities..

Mourning and Burial Traditions

That’s no different for grieving and burial. In Jewish tradition, death is both inevitable and necessary. Hundreds of years of tradition is meant to help mourners navigate grief and honor the memories of their loved ones. For example, historically, the deceased are buried in a Tachrichim, a white cotton or linen burial garment. Today, many people are buried in their own clothes.

Other traditions, while rooted in old practices, are new, such as loved ones being buried with a small jar of Earth from Israel. While the Torah states that being buried in Israel provides additional atonement for sins, for hundreds of years, members of the diaspora could not be buried there. The jar of Earth allows mourners to carry out this important ritual, to honor the deceased, and provide peace of mind.

While these shared traditions are at the center of what we provide, we also personalize each service and memorial to reflect the values of each unique family. Our caring, expert staff will help guide and support you as you make decisions for a final arrangement. In addition to our experience providing traditional observances, we also offer a wide array of custom memorials, and assist in the creation of customized memorials cards with our “Hillside Memorial Tributes” service.

Traditions for New Generations

Southern California’s Jewish community is diverse because for hundreds of years, members of the Jewish faith have nurtured and changed traditions all over the world. From Orthodox denominations, to reform movements and secular identities, every form of modern Judaism is actually part of a very long process of evolution. The rediscovery and reshaping of Jewish traditions serves as a bridge, connecting us to our ancestors across time and to each other across oceans, ensuring we remain rooted in our heritage while adapting to contemporary life. As traditions transform, they continue to provide comfort, meaning, and a sense of belonging to new generations, even as we define what it means to be Jewish today.

This important work is at the heart of our motto: Traditions for a New Generation. By honoring the past and embracing change, the Jewish and interfaith communities of Southern California can keep their rich cultural legacies alive. At Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary, we are dedicated to supporting this enduring connection, helping to weave the timeless threads of tradition into the fabric of modern life.

Why Consider a Grief Support Group?

Wed, 17 Jul 2024 17:22:54 GMT

Grief is one of the most painful and personal experiences anyone can go through. It manifests differently for everyone, with no clear timeline for how long it will last, how it will evolve, or when peace of mind will return. However, this journey does not have to be endured alone. One certainty is that sharing your grief with others who are experiencing similar feelings can provide a unique form of support, helping you avoid the additional pain of isolation.

The Benefits of Grief Support Groups

Grief support groups offer a safe space to express your feelings and share your story, knowing others will be non-judgmental and empathetic. This shared experience creates an environment where members can validate each other’s feelings. In this atmosphere of acceptance, members can present their challenges to the group and gain insights on how to move forward.

Beyond informal support, group settings can also offer structured healing activities. Facilitators introduce participants to new coping skills, share information about grief, and dispel myths that may intensify feelings of loss. They may also organize therapeutic activities like journaling to help members reflect on their feelings and track their emotional progress over time.

Support Groups at Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary

At Hillside Memorial Park, our bereavement support groups are structured workshops designed to address specific aspects of grief. Led by Certified Grief Educator Maggi Scharf, M.Ed.,CPCC, each meeting is carefully planned to guide members through every step of the grieving process. Topics include defining grief and grieving, understanding that grief is a form of love, and learning that healing does not mean forgetting our loved ones. For more information about Maggi and our complete list of workshops, please visit the grief support group page on our website.

A Next Step Towards Peace of Mind

No matter how recently you’ve experienced loss or where you are in your grief journey, bereavement groups at Hillside Memorial Park and Mortuary are meant to be a next step. Healing unfolds in its own time, but whether we help dispel misconceptions about grieving, deepen your understanding of the entire process, or just provide a safe space to share your story, our goal is always help you remember your loved ones while you find your way back to peace of mind.